This Is It!

I don't care who you vote for, just

VOTE!

so that this thing can be over and we can all move on.

I burned my lip on my free coffee this morning. Let's hope that it wasn't prophetic.

Battleground Yard...

Schitzophrenic Comments

Well, well, well!

Hi. This is the "Bill" you wrote about. I will help alleviate your anguish a little. I have no intention of killing Obama. I meant it as a term similar to Obamacide. There is a sketch with Tim Kazurinsky on SNL early in the 80's where he used "-cide" for various things. If you drank too much beer it would be "brewicide". Get it...a joke. I was not attempting to get people to come to my side. If a letter to the editor sways your vote you should not be voting.

Tim Kazurinsky - wasn't he the unibomber? I didn't know he got is start on SNL. Well, regardless, perhaps it would have been clearer, Bill, if you'd picked a "joke" that wasn't 30 years old. (I'm KIDDING, it was Ted Kaczynski... It's a JOKE.)

Letters to the Editor don't sway my vote. They do, however, make me think about moving.

I voted for Kerry last time and Nader (God I wish I could take that one back) the time before.

Who'd you vote for when Roosevelt ran? Who was on Saturday Night Live back then?

You rant and whine like a child. I was surprised to see you are 32.

Oh wait a minute - I rant and whine? I used citations and quotes and facts in my post. I quoted the Bible (which the other letter writer was arguing from) without stating whether or not I believe in it, and argued him into the ground with his own evidence!

You used... sarcasm.

I guess if I rant and whine like a child, you rant and whine like a 14 year old girl. One with PMS.

PS - Insulting people? Again, not a good way to bring people to your side... I'm just sayin'. (And I'm not trying to bring you to my side, because regardless of what you do with your vote, we're all going to be playing Hail to the Chief for my guy on Wednesday, so I can just have fun and poke you with a stick... Just to be clear...)

You give liberals a bad rap like that wacko who thinks Obama is the anti-Christ gives Republicans a bad name.

I still can't figure out which you are.

I called him ObaMessiah because so many people think he will magically fix things.
You never mentioned my one real point and my other joke. The joke was that all the celebrities who cannot run their own life support him as if politics is the one place where they make sensible decisions.

I try really hard to only mention jokes that are funny.

My one true point, and if you don't have kids or work with them you may not understand it...

Um, Bill - click around a bit. I have two kids and I went to school to be a teacher. During school I worked with special needs kids at a school for kids with behavioral disorders and mental retardation. I have LOTS of experience with kids, and the most difficult populations of kids to work with, at that.

was that for him to sit and listen to a religious man make outrageous claims against America and whites is bad. To be a "leader" in the community and appear to endorse it (or maybe he was pandering for the church member's votes) is even worse. To do all of the above and subject your children's minds to that kind of nonsense is the worst thing a parent can do.

What church do you go to, Bill? After all, we're practically neighbors. I haven't found one, in 32 years, where I can agree with every last word that comes out of the leaders' mouths. If a church so agreeable exists here, where nothing is ever said that you disagree with, well I'd like to give it a try. I'll bet the minister farts rainbows...

PS - I've worked with abused kids, neglected kids, kids who were sold into prostitution at age 7, 8, and 9 years old to support their parents' drug habits (I only wish I were exaggerating). Taking the kids to church is "the worst thing a parent can do"?? I wish I lived in a world where that were true, I really do.

You don't mention it because everything I said is true and if you deny that you only fool yourself and the only way to make yourself feel better about that is for you to hang out with people like yourself who also think the king is wearing clothes and ignore me pointing out that he does not.

After reading this run-on sentence three times to try to figure out what the heck you're talking about, I can only conclude that you think anyone who disagrees with you is fooling herself and therefore doesn't hang out with people who disagree...

Have you met my husband? He likes McCain so much that he's voted for him in elections where he wasn't even running. Fully half of my extended family is pro-McCain, and I haven't disowned them (yet). And the damn election is tomorrow, so chances are good that we'll all survive it with the family in one piece (or at least the same number of pieces it was in when this whole thing started...).

You sure make a lot of assumptions about people... I can only assume, myself, that you're doing the same about Obama - hanging your vote on one relatively minor issue (the issue of his church affiliation) rather than looking at the big picture. Maybe if you embiggened your mind, and tried to see the big picture (which is what National Politics is all about, really, it's a big picture game...) you would see things differently.

There are several reasons I am not voting for Obama. I think he screwed Hillary over. I would have voted for her more than him. His economic plan is horrible and it changes with the constituents he talking to at the moment. He has NO experience. I could handle him being VP for awhile. Lastly, I think he is a bad parent and a lost person who has no real identity and we are trying to get rid of one of those guys now.

Bill you have the right to vote for or not vote for whoever you want. You even have the right to send ridiculous letters to the J&C if you feel that's necessary. But along with that right, you have the responsibility to be made fun of by people like myself. It's part of the social contract.

I'm curious as to whether or not you voted in the primary - after all, Obama didn't "screw Hillary over" - he won. And just like every American Democrat, you had the opportunity to make your preference known. Staying bitter about the fact that he beat her 6 months later, well, why don't you just go have a good pout? Because seriously, the rest of us have moved on...

Last thing, you take this whole thing too serious. That is sad because you aren't even enjoying an election where your candidate is setting history and mopping the floor with his opponent. Relax and enjoy what we have waited 8 years for...telling the Republicans goodbye.

Hip hip hooray! See? We're like 10 pages in, and I still have no idea who you support. I guess it's none of my business, except you kind of made it a point of discussion with your letter and then by showing up here... But whatever. It doesn't matter. IT'S ALMOST OVER, and that's all that matters, today. That's a good enough reason to dance a jig.

Hey, Bill, it's been fun. Thanks for being a good sport... And don't worry, my husband and my uncles are going to leap to your defense, here, momentarily.

This Stupid Election

I am so ready for it to be over. So. Effing. Ready. It's a good thing this is a family blog, because I could use much stronger language than that.

I was reading the Letters to the Editor in our local newspaper today, and I just can't let these slide without making a comment....

Here's a link, lest you think I'm kidding.

Christians: Vote for Obama to bring end

Never before have true Christians had such an opportunity to participate directly in Biblical prophecy than with the upcoming election.

Voting for Barack Obama, believed by many to be the anti-Christ, will hasten the end times and the establishment of God's kingdom on Earth. Therefore, Christians who vote for John McCain are actually working against God's plan for our salvation.

I call on each true Christian to vote for Barack Obama and then joyously await the return of Jesus, our Savior.

Rick Meyer

...and, my personal favorite...

How Obama will save our country

The One has arrived. ObaMessiah will fix it all. I committed Obamacide and you should too.

Some question how a good father could sit in church with his two young daughters as the Rev. Jeremiah Wright condemned America and whites. Not me.

ObaMessiah used his superpowers to create earmuffs for his young impressionable daughters so that they did not hear. As a true leader, would he denounce those comments only after people were shocked to find what he listened to with his kids every week?

We need the ObaMessiah now. We don't have time to wait for him to gain experience and a voting record. He is obviously qualified. Look at everyone who supports him -- the rock stars, actors and even Oprah. These are solid people who have a good grasp of what it takes to lead a successful life and run a country. He knows foreign relations because he went to Iraq once. I know how to fly a plane because I rode in one ... twice.

Keep on focusing on Sarah Palin's inexperience and forget that ObaMessiah has less and will be president.

ObaMessiah knows how to redistribute your wealth because you have been doing a poor job.

ObaMessiah will:

Fly like Superman instead of using Air Force One.

Live in the clouds while the poor stay in the White House.

Fill our gas tanks with hope to achieve superior mileage.

Heal the sick as a health care plan.

Let his halo power 1,000 solar panels.

Have his angels fight our wars.

Bill Ross

I can't believe I live anywhere near these two ignorant men.

First of all, gentlemen, let's get our line straight, ok? Either he's the anti-christ, or he's the ObaMessiah. You can't have it both ways (just like he can't be both a radical Muslim and a radical Christian - you have to pick one).

And let's not forget what Thomas Carlyle said about sarcasm, shall we?

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

I am really sick to death of these radical end-times Christian types. They're probably the same jerks who keep coming to my door, Bible in hand, during nap time - PLEASE NOTE: I am not available for conversion between the hours of 12 pm and 3 pm, because if you knock on my door and make my dog bark and wake up my kids, you will have the opportunity to meet your God a lot sooner than you'd planned. Kapiche? (This happened AGAIN today, I slammed the door in their faces. If these baby wakers are going to be in heaven, I'd rather be in hell, thanks.)

Anyway, the End Times. Right. Don't they realize that every single group of people since, oh, One A.D. has believed that the world was going to end in their lifetime? They've all been wrong. Statistically, the chances are EXCELLENT that you're wrong too. So relax and let my babies nap, already.

Obama is not the anti-christ. Let's entertain, for a moment, your own philosophy. From Wikipedia:

This one Antichrist is spoken of in more detail by Paul in 2 Thessalonians chapter 2. ^[9] Paul uses the term man of sin to describe what John identifies as the Antichrist.^[10] Paul writes that this Man of Sin (sometimes translated son of perdition) will possess a number of characteristics. These include "sitting in the temple", opposing himself against anything that is worshiped, claiming divine authority,^[11] working all kinds of counterfeit miracles and signs,^[12] and doing all kinds of evil.^[13] Paul notes that "the mystery of lawlessness"^[14] (though not the Man of Sin himself) was working in secret already during his day and will continue to function until being destroyed on the Last Day.^[15] His identity is to be revealed after that which is restraining him is removed.^[9][15]

Obama isn't sitting in a temple. As far as I know, he's currently sitting at his grandmother's death bed. He hasn't opposed anything that is worshipped - in fact, he himself has spent decades worshipping the Christian God darn near every Sunday himself. He does not claim divine authority. He does not work miracles and signs, whether counterfeit or otherwise, and, so far as I know, he hasn't done any more evil than anyone else in Washington. He is certainly not working in secret.

So can we DROP the whole "anti-christ" bit already? It just makes you look ignorant, and makes all of the normal Christians in the world (of which I have personally met at least 3) look ignorant along with you. Let's take it a step farther - let's stop using all words that we do not know/understand the meaning of (see also: socialist) for the duration of the election.

If your Sky Wizard is telling you to vote for McCain, that's fine. Some people I greatly respect like McCain, and will or have already voted for him. Fine. Fine fine fine. But let's not bring the whole religious bullcrap argument about the anti-christ into this anymore, all right? Because I do not want to have to listen to it for the next four to eight years if he wins.

On to the second letter - I'm amazed the paper even printed the term "Obamacide" because that sounds a lot like "patricide" (the killing of one's father) or "matricide" (the killing of one's mother) and would therefore be translated, literally, to "the killing of Obama." I know the law is pretty clear regarding death threats against the president - I'm not sure what it says about the threat of death against a presidential candidate, but it's splitting a mighty fine hair, in my opinion.

Maybe Bill Ross just wants to have the thickest FBI file of all his friends.

Look, Bill... Can I call ya Bill? I know a lot of Obama supporters, and not a single one of them thinks he's the Messiah. In fact, most of us think that he's just a regular guy, like us, who wants to make a big difference to regular people, like us. The only people I have heard say anything about Obama being the Messiah are sarcastic jerks like yourself, who think that you can make us feel foolish enough to vote for your guy.

Here's a hint - implying that people are stupid is not a good way to get them to come over to your side.

We like Obama because we think he wants to bring positive changes that will help us. Period. We may like his stance on Iraq, or his stance on national health care, or his position on women's rights, or his position on education... It doesn't really matter. Not one single person that I have read or heard has said, "I'm voting for Obama because he's the Messiah!!!" Only people like you, who are voting for McCain, think that's what we think. I, personally, find it insulting, and wish that you would just shut your pie hole.

Look, I will be happy on some levels and unhappy on other levels with either candidate. I am going to vote for the candidate who would, in my opinion, be best for my family and for our country. So quit being insulting, quit being sarcastic, and for God's sake, quit being internally inconsistent, because I don't think I can take much more of this garbage. Ok?

I seriously just want to go to sleep and not wake up until Wednesday.

Let's all just pray that this election is a landslide, either way, so that it is definitively OVER as soon as possible.

Something Rotten in Disneyland

Regular readers will know that we watch far more than our fair share of the Disney channel. Particularly "Playhouse Disney."

Last month they were running a new commercial which included the phrase "Fabuloso Friday." I remembered Ze Frank using the phrase "Fabuloso Friday" a very long time ago, in his series "The Show."

Well, he sent them a letter, and as far as I know nothing came of it... Then, just a few minutes ago we had Playhouse Disney on again (we really need a twelve step program...) and I saw a commercial for this. Ze Fronk. Cooking with Ze Fronk. Immediately after they stole a phrase from Ze FrAnk.

Really? Are they kidding? Is there a Ze Frank fan working for Playhouse Disney? Has this fan caved under the constant pressure to do something new and interesting every month and decided to just lift ideas from Ze Frank?

As a writer, I take plagiarism very seriously. I am appalled that Disney would so flagrantly plagiarize someone whose work I like and respect.

I'd call for a boycott of all things Disney, but I don't think my kids would survive it.

It's particularly ironic that Disney is doing this, in light of their own zero tolerance policy toward people "borrowing" ideas from them... (even though they've "borrowed" and screwed up virtually every fairy tale in history... I doubt they're paying royalties to the estates of the Brothers Grimm).

When we talked about the first "borrowing" incident, someone in Ze's comments posted a link to this video:



It's one thing to borrow a phrase, made up of relatively common words. It's a whole different thing to "borrow" someone's NAME.

Take 'em down, Ze! If I were a lawyer, I'd represent you for free. Since I'm a mom, my contribution will have to be continued careful monitoring of "Playhouse Disney." Yeah, it's research... Not lazy parenting! Research...

(The lack of links to Disney websites in this post was careful and deliberate).

PS - 12 pounds.