Thursday, May 31, 2012
Oops
Almost forgot to post today... Can't find a picture, either. Tried to take one of BJ as he was coming to bed, but he's too quick for me!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Begin As You Mean To Go On
There's this thing that happens with parents of young kids that needs to be addressed. Parents need to remember to begin as they mean to go on.
What does that mean? Well, here's an example. You can't dress your children in this:
...and not expect them to dress like this:
...when they're teenagers.
You can't allow them to swear like sailors when they're home because it's precocious, and then suddenly expect them to watch their language when they're in school.
My mom and I were talking about this today. She said that when I was around two I said something cheeky (she doesn't remember the exact wording) in front of her mom. My mom laughed. Grandma grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the next room and said, "I know it's cute now, but you can't laugh at things like this, because it's not going to be cute when she's 15. I don't care if you have to go into another room, but you can't laugh in front of her." I have quite a mouth, so I shudder to think how I would have ended up if Grandma Betty hadn't intervened!
If you think about it, it's really confusing for the kid if you think something is cute when they're two, and suddenly it's something they're in trouble for when they're 5. I see it a lot with hitting. It's easy to laugh off their tiny fury when they're two and it doesn't really hurt. Trust me, that exact same behavior is going to be a whole different story when they're 12, and again when they're 22.
We've enacted a zero-tolerance policy in this house on hitting. If they hit each other, the girls are grounded for 24 hours. They've each experienced a 4 hour grounding (during the afternoon when their friends were out and their sister was out and they were stuck inside sobbing) so they know it sucks. I'm hoping that I won't have to do it again, because it really sucks the most for me.
Also, in giving consequences, making them mind, and following through with my threats, I'm also beginning as I mean to go on - because when they're teenagers they'll already be in the habit of listening, they'll know that their dad and I mean business, and they'll know that they can't get away with anything on our watch. I mean, seriously, if your 2 year old is already walking all over you, what do you think your life is going to look like when she's 12?
Begin as you mean to go on. Hitting is never ok, even if you're too little for it to hurt anyone. Mouthing off is never ok, even if it's precocious. Dressing like you don't have any modesty or self-respect is never ok, even if you have the body to pull it off. Deliberately breaking things is never ok, even if they're your toys that I don't really care about (I'll care when it's my car!). Hurting other people is never ok.
So much of our behavior is the result of habits - what we eat, how we dress, the order that we complete mundane tasks in - and it's easier for everyone if we get our kids into good habits from the very beginning.
Do you ever look at your kids' behavior through the lens of the future?
What does that mean? Well, here's an example. You can't dress your children in this:
 |
| Image Credit |
 |
| Image Credit |
You can't allow them to swear like sailors when they're home because it's precocious, and then suddenly expect them to watch their language when they're in school.
My mom and I were talking about this today. She said that when I was around two I said something cheeky (she doesn't remember the exact wording) in front of her mom. My mom laughed. Grandma grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the next room and said, "I know it's cute now, but you can't laugh at things like this, because it's not going to be cute when she's 15. I don't care if you have to go into another room, but you can't laugh in front of her." I have quite a mouth, so I shudder to think how I would have ended up if Grandma Betty hadn't intervened!
If you think about it, it's really confusing for the kid if you think something is cute when they're two, and suddenly it's something they're in trouble for when they're 5. I see it a lot with hitting. It's easy to laugh off their tiny fury when they're two and it doesn't really hurt. Trust me, that exact same behavior is going to be a whole different story when they're 12, and again when they're 22.
We've enacted a zero-tolerance policy in this house on hitting. If they hit each other, the girls are grounded for 24 hours. They've each experienced a 4 hour grounding (during the afternoon when their friends were out and their sister was out and they were stuck inside sobbing) so they know it sucks. I'm hoping that I won't have to do it again, because it really sucks the most for me.
Also, in giving consequences, making them mind, and following through with my threats, I'm also beginning as I mean to go on - because when they're teenagers they'll already be in the habit of listening, they'll know that their dad and I mean business, and they'll know that they can't get away with anything on our watch. I mean, seriously, if your 2 year old is already walking all over you, what do you think your life is going to look like when she's 12?
Begin as you mean to go on. Hitting is never ok, even if you're too little for it to hurt anyone. Mouthing off is never ok, even if it's precocious. Dressing like you don't have any modesty or self-respect is never ok, even if you have the body to pull it off. Deliberately breaking things is never ok, even if they're your toys that I don't really care about (I'll care when it's my car!). Hurting other people is never ok.
So much of our behavior is the result of habits - what we eat, how we dress, the order that we complete mundane tasks in - and it's easier for everyone if we get our kids into good habits from the very beginning.
Do you ever look at your kids' behavior through the lens of the future?
Monday, May 28, 2012
Testing
Mary Grace: Daddy, where are you going?
BJ: I'm going to Wisconsin with Uncle Tim and his student.
Mary Grace: For what?
BJ: We're going to test some foams that will help keep people safe. They're kind of like soap.
(long pause)
Mary Grace: Are you going to test them on Uncle Tim's student?
(I love that at 6-1/2 she already understands the idea that college students are guinea pigs.)
BJ: I'm going to Wisconsin with Uncle Tim and his student.
Mary Grace: For what?
BJ: We're going to test some foams that will help keep people safe. They're kind of like soap.
(long pause)
Mary Grace: Are you going to test them on Uncle Tim's student?
(I love that at 6-1/2 she already understands the idea that college students are guinea pigs.)
Another Open Letter to Our Parents
Dear Moms and Dads,
Remember all the times we slammed the door when our younger siblings were sleeping, left the door wide open and let bugs inside, left the door wide open when the air conditioning was on, left the hose on when no one was playing with it, and let the dog out the front door because we weren't paying attention when we opened it, and then had to chase her down?
Your grandchildren have exacted your revenge. Well played.
Love,
Amy & BJ
Remember all the times we slammed the door when our younger siblings were sleeping, left the door wide open and let bugs inside, left the door wide open when the air conditioning was on, left the hose on when no one was playing with it, and let the dog out the front door because we weren't paying attention when we opened it, and then had to chase her down?
Your grandchildren have exacted your revenge. Well played.
Love,
Amy & BJ
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