Tuesday, March 8, 2011

For the last time, dogs aren't kids

Ok, freaking seriously, people, I am not making any of this up.

I went to the doctor today (to sort out what drugs I'm taking to prevent and treat the migraine I've had for, like, ever) and when Jack and I came out of the exam area into the waiting area, there was an old guy sitting in the chairs with a little dog.  I think it was one of those Bichon Friseses. 

If you pronounce it correctly, does it rhyme with "diseases"?
It looked exactly like this picture that I just lifted off of some dog website.

Now, I am a dog person.  I love my dog.  If I could type that with a pink puffy glitter heart around it, I would. 

Close enough.  Microsoft Paint doesn't do glitter.

Anyway, I love my dog at home.  Maybe it's because she's huge (80 pounds) and tall (like a deer), but it's nothing but a distraction to have her leaping around like a gazelle in the back of the car, so I leave her at home 99.9% of the time. 

I understand that tiny dogs have tiny bladders, and unless you want to plan to go home every 20 minutes to let them out or you really don't care about your carpet, you've got to make accommodations, but it was 45 degrees today.  Leave the Bichon Frise in the car.

Also, I love my dog.  I don't love your dog.  I don't trust your dog.  You love your dog, and that's fine, but don't subject me to it in the doctor's office (or at the grocery store, or the pharmacy, or anywhere else).  Dogs belong at the park, on sidewalks, in their own backyards, in cars if you can stand it (and God, please, not in your lap while you're in control of the vehicle!), and at home.  I blame Petsmart for this.  You give people an inch and let them take their dogs shopping for Puppy Chow, and suddenly it makes perfect sense to take them a mile to the Dariy Queen, too.  After all, what is ice cream but human chow?

Seriously, a doctor's office!  There are kids there!  And people with allergies.  And I really don't need to be menaced by some yappy little dog (this particular dog was quiet and non-menacing, but I don't trust small dogs any farther than I can drop kick them) when I'm at the doctor's office with my children.  Thankfully the kids who would have gone all, "OMG PUPPIEZZZ!!!" were at school at the time.  At least if the dog bites someone, everyone's already at the doctor.

I was honestly more startled and irritated than I was the time that I took Claire for a well-child visit and there was a prisoner in shackles with two armed guards in the waiting room.  ("Seriously?" I said to the front desk clerk, "I think for this we ought to bring back house calls.")

I apologize in advance to anyone who has a delightful small dog who accompanies them everywhere (hi Mom!).  I know this is going to annoy the kibble out of you.  But seriously, even you would agree that taking Poopsie the puppsie to your doctor's appointment is a wee bit over the top, right?


strwberrryjoy said...

I hate dogs. They are just gross and dirty and smelly and bite. Thanks for the rant ;)

mwiesjahn said...

You know that bichons are hypoallergenic, right? ;)

RobMonroe said...

Oy! You are right, my friend. :)

Kathryn said...

There are many dogs trained to sense seizures and other medical conditions and they are not all BIG dogs nor are they always labeled as working dogs. Just sayin'

Maggie said...

I grew up with a Bichon Frise (they are French, so all the letters are pronounced..."freeze-aay"), and my parents are on their 2nd now...when I get a dog, it will be at least 1/2 bichon. The thing about Bichons that anyone who's had one knows, they think they are people in a dog suit. Much more than all the other little dogs that are of a similar size. Taking them along everywhere is kinda what they were made for, along with being good lap dogs anywhere, they ARE hypoallergenic, which someone else mentioned, which means a) they have hair, not "fur", so people with pet allergies can have one and b) they don't SHED! Bigger dogs were made to be home companions and run in the yard and play in the water. Very different functions, so I guess it just depends what function you want. ANYWAY, this got way more long-winded than I planned...just had to stick up for Bichons...oh, and unless it was a puppy, that photo looks more like a maltese :) (Amy, if you check out my FB photos, you'll see some pics of my Charlie :))