Does anyone have a clever tip for extremely dry skin? BJ's hands are already cracking, and it's only December. He's cursed with terribly dry skin that plagues him all year, but especially in the winter. My plan is to try olive oil, applied liberally after a thorough hand washing. I just hope he doesn't drop either of the kids! His skin gets so dry that regular lotion burns. I'm hoping that olive oil will be inert enough (no alcohol, no scent...) that it won't hurt. Poor baby!
He's been working a ton lately. Hooray for Grandpa Bob who has been coming over to keep me sane on his nights off. On Thursday he took us out for supper, then we went to Battleground to see the light show I mentioned earlier this week. The kids LOVED it. I was pretty impressed, too. I wonder what the guy's neighbors think!
We have done very little Christmas shopping or decorating - the tree is up, but there are no ornaments on it - mainly because BJ has been working like a crazy person. Unfortunately, he'll probably continue to work like a crazy person until Christmas. We're going to try to squeeze some shopping in today. I was supposed to go to a baby shower, but with this virus I have, I don't want to run the risk of getting the mom-to-be sick. Nothing's worse than being sick when you're pregnant, because you can't take anything! The grandma-to-be had a kidney transplant several years ago, so she has immune system issues too. It just seemed wise to skip it, which is unfortunate because I really wanted to celebrate with the baby's family. She's the first grandchild, and they're SO excited. Before I quit my job to work for BJ full time, I worked for the company where the mom-to-be works, and that her parents own. They're the best bosses I ever had. Such a wonderful, loving family. It was a tough job (I was a staffing supervisor for a temp agency - so I was the one who sent temps out on assignments), but I really loved working for them.
I'm headed up to Grammaland for Mimi's Christmas party tonight. I don't care if I get them sick. Ha ha! I have to be there to advocate for having Christmas at my house this year. It looks like that's how things are going to turn out, but I don't want Uncle Chuck and Mimi and Uncle Trey and Gramma and Pops to get any bright ideas when I'm not there to talk them out of it. Of course, there will be no point to doing Christmas if I don't get some shopping and decorating done. And baking. Lord, do I have baking to do!
This cold/virus/plague thing has come at a really inconvenient time! Couldn't I have gotten it in January?? We're not sick all the time, by the way. I just complain a lot. If I kept my house cleaner, we'd probably be healthier. I need to bust out the Lysol more often, I guess.
I've been getting a lot of questions about sizes, so I thought I'd put the info here. Mary Grace is in a 4T - she's so tall that 3Ts look like flood pants already! Adjustable waists are always good, because she's skinny and I'm not handy with the sewing machine. She could really use warm play clothes - sweatshirts and stretchy pants, etc. Claire is wearing a 12 - 18 month size currently. She also needs warm playclothes. She has a lot more in terms of clothes than MG does, because she can wear all the hand-me-downs. We could use a bunch of hats and gloves, too, because they keep disappearing. I'm searching for at least two hats and three pairs of gloves that I know must be around here somewhere...
Mary Grace loves princesses, ballet and gymnastics, and Dora. Claire loves Charlie and Lola, Mickey Mouse, and cats. They both love books and music. Claire especially likes board books with animals in them (especially cats).
Claire has really achieved maximum cuteness lately. She's learning her animal sounds, and will tell you what a cow says, etc. She has perfected the phrase, "I want some more!" She is also beginning to say "I love you," which just melts my heart. It seems like she comes up with a new word or phrase twice a day. She also loves to sing, and will sing along with the soundtrack to Wicked, which has been playing in my car for the better part of a year. I tried to get them to switch to Les Mis, but they weren't interested. Maybe I'll try Phantom next. No surprise that my little hams would love Broadway musicals...
I've been trying to teach Mary Grace to say, "John, get a close up of this!" for the benefit of people who knew me when I was little. Some kids have imaginary friends, I had an imaginary camera man.
Mary Grace slept over and Uncle Brandon and Aunt Heather's house last night. Reports are that she was very good. It was odd to wake up without her today. The house is so quiet when she's gone.
I think that's all the news that's fit to print.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
MG and C's Great-Grandfather
Clyde was my Papa. He died when I was 5.
It's kind of funny that BJ and I work together in the business he owns (rocket science), and my mom and step-dad own a business (the chapel and ballroom where Megan's wedding was), and mom's parents (in the video) started TFT (Stewart is my mom's brother). BJ's grandparents also owned a business together (they built a lot of the apartment buildings and fraternities in town, renovated the courthouse, owned an apartment complex or 12...). A lot of times when we tell people that we work together, we'll hear, "Oh, I could never work with my spouse!" but it's pretty normal for us. Neither of my grandparents enjoyed long lives, Papa was only 52 when he died, and Grandma was 62. I'll bet that they're glad that they spent most of their days working together to build a company and a family.
I know that I'm grateful to spend those working hours with the person I love most in the world. Sure, we bump noses occasionally (especially when I have to arrange travel for him - for some reason, that just drives me bonkers. He and I have very different ideas about how to arrange travel...), but the overwhelming majority of the time, we're working as a team. We've learned a lot of skills at the office that help us at home, and vice versa. Frankly, sometimes I don't know how people who aren't married manage to work together day in and day out!!
Anyway, back to the video, I guess it was on back in October, but I just got the memo. Thanks, Aunt Julie, for the tip!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The "Together Mom" Myth
A friend of mine is struggling. She says she's a horrible wife, a terrible mother, and a worthless person. She sounds just like I did when I had PPD, except her youngest is already in school, so probably not... I was talking to her about the Myth of the Together Mom, and thought I'd share my little mind game with all of you.
See, I used to fall into the trap of thinking that the other moms I saw had it all figured out - that they were pros at this mom thing, and that it was as obvious to everyone else that I was totally faking it as it was to me. Not faking love for my kids, of course I love them, but faking the whole "having it together" thing. I would see other moms, who often had more kids than I have, and they'd have their hand-decorated, home-made, organic, peanut and gluten free cupcakes for the class party, and I'd show up with boxed cookies from Kroger (and I forgot to check the label, and the damn cookies are "made on machines that process foods that contain nuts...." Oops). Or I'd see a mom with three perfectly matchy matched children acting angelic in the mall as I struggled to get my kid away from the money-eating carousel - they looked like the Stepford family, and we looked like the World Wrestling Federation, and I'd think, "How do they do it?!"
I've figured it out - or at least figured out a way to live in the same world with the Stepford moms without losing my mind. Now, when I see those "together moms" I think, "Yeah, she looks all put together, but I'll bet she's got $100,000 worth of credit card debt!" or "Sure, those cupcakes are organic and homemade, but she's operating on 92 minutes of sleep and a whole bunch of speed today..." Of course I never VOICE these opinions to the "together moms" I see... I just smile inside and think, "Yeah, sister, your hair is coiffed and your makeup is perfect, and I could bounce quarters off of your abs even though you have 6 kids, but you've got a secret too..."
Now that I'm a little further down this Mommy Road, it has come to my attention that people see ME as the together mom! HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I call my mom or sister at least once a week to tell them that if they don't come down and get these kids, I'm going to put a sign on them that says, "Free to good home" and stick them in the front yard (they rarely show up, and the kids are both still present and accounted for - they understand my hyperbole). I spend entirely too much time on the 'net, and my kids watch WAY too much TV. I have vices, things I feel guilty about, and secrets just like everyone - just like you - but I present my "together face" to the world, just like everyone else. And unless you know me well, or catch me in a vulnerable moment, you'd never see those vices, guilts, and secrets.
Another friend of mine says, "Being a mom isn't hard work, but it's constant." I think that's partially true - it is constant. Kids just never stop needing (even when they're grown, from what I've seen!). It takes a lot of effort to be someone else's caregiver, and when you find yourself in the position of caring for a whole family - running to lessons, wiping noses and butts, dropping off, picking up, three meals and two snacks a day, making little decisions (what's for dinner? snack now or later? fight to get her to nap or give it up?), making big decisions (vaccines on schedule? preschool? work or stay home? vacation or new roof?) all the time, it can really wear you out. When you find yourself in the unenviable position of caring for aging parents and young kids, or caring for yourself or your spouse through a chronic illness, or just trying to spin all thirteen dozen plates in the air without letting anything fall - it gets hard. It's hard for everyone. No one has it easy in this mothering gig. No one.
In our western culture, the mother really is the heart of the family. As the saying goes, "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy." It's a lot of pressure to be "on" all the time, to be "together" all the time, to be "healthy" all the time - and it's easy to bend, it's easy to break, under that pressure.
But we owe it to ourselves, and to our husbands and kids, to be as together as we can. And I really believe that it's necessary to let go of some of the "shoulds" of motherhood - I should make organic, free range, peanut free cookies instead of buying something for school snack, I should make all the kids' Halloween costumes, I should make all their birthday cakes from scratch, I should turn off the damn TV and interact with the little weirdos 24/7, I should...... The only true should-ism is that you should put less pressure on yourself to be Donna Reed and spend more time on the stuff that really fulfills you and makes you happy. Your kids are going to remember that you were content for a lot longer than they're going to remember those perfect cupcakes.
The irony is that once you let up on some of your own pressure on yourself, once you start to give yourself some wiggle room, some grace, you enable yourself to be a better mother.
What do you think? Do people think you have it "all together"? What's your dirty little mommy secret? Leave an anonymous comment if you want - I honestly can't see who's who in the comments when they're anonymous. Help my friend realize that we're all in this together, and that none of us have it easy, by leaving a little confession.
See, I used to fall into the trap of thinking that the other moms I saw had it all figured out - that they were pros at this mom thing, and that it was as obvious to everyone else that I was totally faking it as it was to me. Not faking love for my kids, of course I love them, but faking the whole "having it together" thing. I would see other moms, who often had more kids than I have, and they'd have their hand-decorated, home-made, organic, peanut and gluten free cupcakes for the class party, and I'd show up with boxed cookies from Kroger (and I forgot to check the label, and the damn cookies are "made on machines that process foods that contain nuts...." Oops). Or I'd see a mom with three perfectly matchy matched children acting angelic in the mall as I struggled to get my kid away from the money-eating carousel - they looked like the Stepford family, and we looked like the World Wrestling Federation, and I'd think, "How do they do it?!"
I've figured it out - or at least figured out a way to live in the same world with the Stepford moms without losing my mind. Now, when I see those "together moms" I think, "Yeah, she looks all put together, but I'll bet she's got $100,000 worth of credit card debt!" or "Sure, those cupcakes are organic and homemade, but she's operating on 92 minutes of sleep and a whole bunch of speed today..." Of course I never VOICE these opinions to the "together moms" I see... I just smile inside and think, "Yeah, sister, your hair is coiffed and your makeup is perfect, and I could bounce quarters off of your abs even though you have 6 kids, but you've got a secret too..."
Now that I'm a little further down this Mommy Road, it has come to my attention that people see ME as the together mom! HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I call my mom or sister at least once a week to tell them that if they don't come down and get these kids, I'm going to put a sign on them that says, "Free to good home" and stick them in the front yard (they rarely show up, and the kids are both still present and accounted for - they understand my hyperbole). I spend entirely too much time on the 'net, and my kids watch WAY too much TV. I have vices, things I feel guilty about, and secrets just like everyone - just like you - but I present my "together face" to the world, just like everyone else. And unless you know me well, or catch me in a vulnerable moment, you'd never see those vices, guilts, and secrets.
Another friend of mine says, "Being a mom isn't hard work, but it's constant." I think that's partially true - it is constant. Kids just never stop needing (even when they're grown, from what I've seen!). It takes a lot of effort to be someone else's caregiver, and when you find yourself in the position of caring for a whole family - running to lessons, wiping noses and butts, dropping off, picking up, three meals and two snacks a day, making little decisions (what's for dinner? snack now or later? fight to get her to nap or give it up?), making big decisions (vaccines on schedule? preschool? work or stay home? vacation or new roof?) all the time, it can really wear you out. When you find yourself in the unenviable position of caring for aging parents and young kids, or caring for yourself or your spouse through a chronic illness, or just trying to spin all thirteen dozen plates in the air without letting anything fall - it gets hard. It's hard for everyone. No one has it easy in this mothering gig. No one.
In our western culture, the mother really is the heart of the family. As the saying goes, "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy." It's a lot of pressure to be "on" all the time, to be "together" all the time, to be "healthy" all the time - and it's easy to bend, it's easy to break, under that pressure.
But we owe it to ourselves, and to our husbands and kids, to be as together as we can. And I really believe that it's necessary to let go of some of the "shoulds" of motherhood - I should make organic, free range, peanut free cookies instead of buying something for school snack, I should make all the kids' Halloween costumes, I should make all their birthday cakes from scratch, I should turn off the damn TV and interact with the little weirdos 24/7, I should...... The only true should-ism is that you should put less pressure on yourself to be Donna Reed and spend more time on the stuff that really fulfills you and makes you happy. Your kids are going to remember that you were content for a lot longer than they're going to remember those perfect cupcakes.
The irony is that once you let up on some of your own pressure on yourself, once you start to give yourself some wiggle room, some grace, you enable yourself to be a better mother.
What do you think? Do people think you have it "all together"? What's your dirty little mommy secret? Leave an anonymous comment if you want - I honestly can't see who's who in the comments when they're anonymous. Help my friend realize that we're all in this together, and that none of us have it easy, by leaving a little confession.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Coolness, Practically In My Backyard
Remember last Christmas, and the one before, when the guy who everyone loved to watch on Youtube but no one would want to live next door to sync'd his Christmas lights up with his stereo system and made a video? A video like this:
Holy crap, it turns out that I don't need to watch this on the 'net, because the house where it actually happens isn't far from here at all (if you're local and want to know where it is, e-mail me). Grandpa Bob found it! How excellent is that? And we're going to take the kids to see the 2008 display sometime this week.
Suck it, Grinches! Hahaha...
In other news, I am totally freezing my rear end off. It is SO cold in my office that I'm actually hanging out in the server room to soak up some of the radiant computer heat.
However, I am a cold person who has dental insurance for the first time in many years (about 11, if I'm remembering correctly) so I'm happy about that recent development (and happy that it came before the kids needed braces!). And I'm a cold person with dental insurance who should have about 30% of her roof re-done when she gets home (just the lower, leaky part) and said roof will have a 6 year warranty on labor, and a 25 year warranty on the shingles... so SCORE.
Things are looking up at the PB house. What's your good news?
Holy crap, it turns out that I don't need to watch this on the 'net, because the house where it actually happens isn't far from here at all (if you're local and want to know where it is, e-mail me). Grandpa Bob found it! How excellent is that? And we're going to take the kids to see the 2008 display sometime this week.
Suck it, Grinches! Hahaha...
In other news, I am totally freezing my rear end off. It is SO cold in my office that I'm actually hanging out in the server room to soak up some of the radiant computer heat.
However, I am a cold person who has dental insurance for the first time in many years (about 11, if I'm remembering correctly) so I'm happy about that recent development (and happy that it came before the kids needed braces!). And I'm a cold person with dental insurance who should have about 30% of her roof re-done when she gets home (just the lower, leaky part) and said roof will have a 6 year warranty on labor, and a 25 year warranty on the shingles... so SCORE.
Things are looking up at the PB house. What's your good news?
Monday, December 1, 2008
Casserole
There are a lot of things that I didn't understand before I had kids. Perhaps the weirdest is casserole.
I never understood why you'd cook everything once, then put it all together and cook it again. It seemed like a profound waste of time to me, when I was working full time and didn't have babies.
Now that I have children, I totally get it.
Casseroles enable you to cook when it's convenient for you (like during naptime) and still have everything hot and ready to go at suppertime. They also make it possible to hide veggies. And they take some of the pressure off of the evening rush. You can wash all the dishes ahead of time, so that you only have to wash the dinner plates (or use paper if it's a really busy night!) and the casserole dish.
Casseroles make a ton of sense for parents. And they're nice, warm, comfort food for a snowy evening like this one. Tonight I cut up a package of boneless skinless chicken breasts, cooked 6 cups of brown rice, and put it all together with a can of broccoli cheese soup and a bit of milk, as well as a package of "Mexican style" (although there is nothing Mexican about them that I can see) mixed vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, corn, bell peppers... Maybe they're Mexican bell peppers). I topped it all with cheese (colby, I think... something orange) and stuck it in what my grandma would've called a "slow oven" - about 325. When BJ and MG get home at 6:15 from gymnastics, it'll be ready to rock. Maybe I'll get real fancy and crumble up some potato chips on top!
I've always said that if they did an "Iron Chef - Midwest" the main ingredients would be cream of... soup, crumbs of potato chip, and Velveeta. I could totally win. Dessert would involve Jello.
I still don't understand Jello.
I never understood why you'd cook everything once, then put it all together and cook it again. It seemed like a profound waste of time to me, when I was working full time and didn't have babies.
Now that I have children, I totally get it.
Casseroles enable you to cook when it's convenient for you (like during naptime) and still have everything hot and ready to go at suppertime. They also make it possible to hide veggies. And they take some of the pressure off of the evening rush. You can wash all the dishes ahead of time, so that you only have to wash the dinner plates (or use paper if it's a really busy night!) and the casserole dish.
Casseroles make a ton of sense for parents. And they're nice, warm, comfort food for a snowy evening like this one. Tonight I cut up a package of boneless skinless chicken breasts, cooked 6 cups of brown rice, and put it all together with a can of broccoli cheese soup and a bit of milk, as well as a package of "Mexican style" (although there is nothing Mexican about them that I can see) mixed vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, corn, bell peppers... Maybe they're Mexican bell peppers). I topped it all with cheese (colby, I think... something orange) and stuck it in what my grandma would've called a "slow oven" - about 325. When BJ and MG get home at 6:15 from gymnastics, it'll be ready to rock. Maybe I'll get real fancy and crumble up some potato chips on top!
I've always said that if they did an "Iron Chef - Midwest" the main ingredients would be cream of... soup, crumbs of potato chip, and Velveeta. I could totally win. Dessert would involve Jello.
I still don't understand Jello.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)