MG's 5th Birthday Party - with pictures!

The party was a HUGE success! Here come a few of my favorite pictures.

First, the cake! You can't tell from the picture, but the cake is vegan chocolate and is SOOOOOO good! The cupcakes were yellow cake (dyed green). They were almost too cute to eat. Cresta of "The Girl With The Most Cake" made them, and if you're local I would be more than happy to pass on her info. Lots of people (myself included) can make an ugly cake that tastes good. Lots of people can make pretty cakes that taste terrible. It takes real talent to make something that is both pretty and tasty!

Cute, huh?  In my wildest dreams, I can't imagine being that talented.  And speaking of talented.....

Anna, our new babysitter, brought her face painting supplies and painted all the kids' faces.  It was so amazingly generous of her, and the kids LOVED it!  MG was a butterfly, Claire got a flower, Gwen got an entire "Nemo" scene with water and fish, Owen was Batman, Cam was Spiderman...  Each kid had his or her own unique design.  If you're local and you want to hire Anna for your parties, I'll be happy to pass on her info, too!  She's also an amazing babysitter (but I don't share babysitters willingly, so that if you want her for sitting I will require a bribe!) and an amazing organizer if you need someone to help you come and get rid of some junk.

It's too bad no one in this photo is having any fun!

Lots of our friends and family were able to join us.  Here's Claire with Grandmother Diana:

They look so much alike!

Mary Grace tore through a lot of lovely gifts (I got distracted with Claire and missed everything).  Our friends Shannyn and Ken even stayed and helped us clean up afterward.

BJ and I are exhausted.  It's not even 10 pm, but I think I'm going to go to bed.  Right after I sneak a little more cake....

A huge thank you to everyone who helped make this day special for our big girl!!!

Follow Up: How do you handle gifts?

Well, after all of your excellent advice, here's what we did... 

We let Claire buy herself a Jessie doll with her own money.

Both of the kids have piggy banks, and somehow they accumulate money - they'll get a $5 from a grandparent for Valentine's day or a $20 from another one for a birthday, or I'll have too much change in my purse so I'll dump it in their piggy banks.  It's not like they have many incidental expenses.  Sometimes when I know we're going shopping for stuff that will bore them (like maternity clothes) I'll let them take a purse and a little bit of their money (and sunglasses and lip gloss, of course) so they can be Big Girls with their own money... but that's really the only time they have an opportunity to spend it, and that only happens once in a great while.  Generally they spend their pocket money on Polly Pockets dolls and small things like that.

Last Christmas, Claire got a FurReal cat that MG loved and coveted, so we let MG go to Walmart with some of her Christmas money from her Great-Grandma Gleason and get one for herself.  I figured this was the same sort of situation.  I may not always make the best decisions as a mother, but I try to be consistent.

So Grandpa Bob went to Indy and bought another Jessie doll, and brought it back, and Claire bought it from him.  (The ones available at our local Walmart had plastic hair, and we wanted the one with yarn hair).

Grandpa Bob may or may not have stuck that money right back in her piggy bank, but if he did, Claire didn't see him.

I'd like to say that peace has reigned in our house since then, but unfortunately that hasn't happened.  Claire is still finding things to fight over, but this attitude of hers started before the birthday festivities began.  Something else is going on with her.  I'd check to see if she has molars coming in, but I'm afraid I would lose a finger.  If she doesn't knock it off, I'm going to make her a doctor's appointment, because she's just been acting a little bit too strangely.

I mentioned on Facebook that we had to leave Wolf Park on Sunday because she was acting like such a colossal brat.  She was terrible at the zoo on Monday, too, but I just ignored her.  She did fairly well on MG's birthday, until we opened presents.  She's just got a hair trigger when it comes to crying and throwing tantrums, lately, and I can NOT figure out what has changed.  She's getting the same amount of sleep.  Her eating habits haven't changed.  She isn't much more or less active.  I haven't changed the way we discipline her (time outs) at all.  There have been moments when she has played SO nicely with MG, and then for no reason that anyone can figure out, she loses her little mind and starts hollering about something.

If anyone has any guesses, besides teething, I'd love to hear them.  She hasn't complained of being in any pain.  Do kids even get molars at 3-1/2?  I can't remember.

How do you handle gifts?

Let's imagine that I'm at my sister's birthday party.  Her birthday is after mine (mine is in April, hers is in June).  Let's pretend that she just opened a really cool gift - a new book by an author I love.  What would I do?

I know exactly what I'd do.  I'd have it ordered on my Kindle before she blew out the candles, that's what.  The last thing I would do is wait until Christmas to ask for it and then hope that I got it from someone. 

Ok, let's imagine a second situation.  My sister gets a book, and I want it, so I take it from her.  When Megan got angry, would my mom say, "Megan, you need to be a better sharer!"?  Would she insist that Megan give me a turn with her book?  Would Megan get in trouble for not sharing?  No.  She would say, "Amy, quit being a jerk and get your own book."

Exhibit A

So, based on the above, I don't see anything wrong with running right out and getting Claire a Jessie Doll like the one MG got yesterday from Grandpa (or Grandma - it was unclear who got what from whom in the chaos).  BJ says we can't because 1) we don't want them to be spoiled and 2) we work hard for our money while Claire doesn't have to do anything productive but convert oxygen to carbon dioxide for the next 15 years and therefore 3) we're not going to set the precedent of getting two sets of everything and 4) Mary Grace doesn't have to share her special toy even though 5) it's breaking Claire's little heart in spite of the fact that 6) Claire totally usurped the Woody doll that MG got and 7) MG didn't even blink because she was too busy falling in love with Jessie.


It's different for kids, BJ insists.

But Claire doesn't understand!  I counter.

That's why we have to teach her!  he says.  And I know he's right, except that it's so hard.  And people always bring gifts for the non-birthday girl in our house (we have such generous friends and family!) and it has rarely been an issue.  But they're both in love with Jessie, and you can't share a doll like that.  You can't take turns with a best friend.  It's really not fair to make Mary Grace give Claire a turn (see above re: Amy, get your own book).

So do we make her wait until Christmas?  Do we let her take her piggy bank money and buy her own Jessie?  That's what we did with Mary Grace when she wanted something Claire got last Christmas - it was a "FurReal" kitten.  Neither one of them have played with the kittens in months.  So while I'm leaning toward the "use your pocket money to get your own" option, I'm not sure that's the right thing to do.

We were not planning ahead when we had these kids 19 months apart.  That is too long between birthdays.

It's going to get 33% harder in December.

I hope Gozer's a boy.  Poor Woody needs someone to love him.

How do you, especially those of you with close-in-age same-gender children, handle birthdays and gifts?  Am I totally being a marshmallow if I take Claire to Walmart with her piggy bank money and let her buy her own? Is anyone hiring pouty three year olds?  Could I have her do some chores around the house over the next couple of days to earn enough money to buy a Jessie doll?  For the record, I hate the idea of paying kids for chores, because chores are something you do because you're part of a family, not because you get paid (no one pays me to do the laundry, after all).  But in this instance, I might be able to make an exception.

And, bigger picture, do the things we teach kids about waiting and sharing in our culture make any sense at all?  And if not, why do we teach them what we do?  Do we do it to make our own lives easier?  Does that even make any sense?

Mary Grace, you are FIVE!

Dear Mary Grace,

Happy fifth birthday!  I can't believe that you're already five.  They're really not kidding when they say "it goes by so fast." 

I don't even know what to say...  You're not a little baby anymore - someone who can be summed up in one page.  You're a whole person.  Psychologists say that your personality is fully formed by the time you're five, and that who you are down deep inside doesn't change much between now and when you're an adult.  I hope that's true, because there is so much about you that's so wonderful, and I hope it's all permanent.

You love people.  Everywhere we go you find a kid about your age and you say, "Hi, I'm Mary Grace and this is my sister, Claire.  What's your name?"  You are very outgoing and friendly, and you have lots and lots of friends as a result.  When you're around littler kids, you're very patient with them.  And you love playing with bigger kids.  You can't get enough of Lucy and Jane and their friends, and the older girls in our neighborhood.  You really get along well with everyone. 

Speaking of littler kids, you're really looking forward to having a new little brother or sister this winter.  Right now you're saying you want a brother because you already have a sister.  You come up with interesting suggestions for baby names - this morning it was "Hannay" and "Rosalinda."  You ask me all kinds of really good questions about "Baby Gozer," and you know all about how s/he's growing, what an umbilical cord is for, and so on.  You have such a quick, curious mind.

Claire is truly your best friend.  You are so sweet together.  During school, you always save half of your snack for her.  Daddy took you out for your birthday breakfast today, and you brought home half of it for Claire.  You're always there to protect her, too, if bigger kids bug her at the playground, or if she gets hurt.  Earlier this year she got stuck in a slide at Monkey Joe's, and you came right out and got me.  You two play together so well, and I am so happy that you're each others' best friends. 

We went to Huntsville recently, and I loved watching you explore with your daddy.  You are so bright and so quick, and you understand so many things - and when you don't understand something right away, you keep trying until you figure it out.  Daddy and I are both proud of what a hard worker you are.  You love learning, reading books, going new places, math and science, robots, space...  I hope you always love learning as much as you do now.

Here's the checklist I started doing when you were a baby:

Your favorite toy for playing is: your Toy Story characters

Your favorite toy for snuggling is: your panda bears

Your favorite food is: blueberries

Your favorite book is: Stellaluna

Your favorite activity is: building robots with Daddy

Your favorite place to go is: the Children's Museum

Your best friend is: Claire

Something new that you're doing: coloring inside the lines and using the correct colors for things, instead of just scribbling.  We tease that you color like it's your job! 

Something you've mastered: letting Max in and out of the back door, helping me with laundry, sorting the silverware when it comes out of the dishwasher, setting the table... 

Something people say about you: "She's so funny!"

Something that you're saying is: "Mommy, I know how to iPhone."  "Can I go play with my friends?" 

Something Dad and I are proud of you for: earlier in the year we thought you'd be starting kindergarten this fall, but it turns out that you missed the cut off by 10 days.  You have been SO good about this change in plans, and you haven't gotten angry or upset with us at all, even though we were all a little disappointed. 

Something surprising about you: how tall you are - you're already wearing size 6 clothes because the 4s and 5s are too short. It's surprising because I'm so short.  You'll probably be taller than I am by 2nd grade.

What you want to be when you grow up: a veterinarian

I love you so much, and I am so lucky to be your mom.  I hope today is all full of special memories! 

Love,
Mommy

Wolf Park

Trying something new with the kids today. They aren't impressed. I think they think it's just like watching Max, except behind a fence. Maybe they'll like it better when they bring out the bison.