The Vampire Fad has Literally Made Us Sick

I love our doctor, I really do, and I wouldn't stop seeing him or taking the kids to him for anything...  But I'm a little annoyed with him today (mostly with myself, to be fair...).

He has a big plastic bucket (the kind you'd put sodas in with ice for a party) full of small toys (pencils, stickers, etc.) for the kids to choose from after their appointments.  That's really kind of him, and the gesture is appreciated.  But...

One of the prizes when I took MG for her shots on the 11th was a set of purple plastic vampire teeth.  MG chose a pencil (after pawing through the bucket that all the sick kids since time immemorial had pawed through, too, while I stood there and cringed).  Claire (who didn't even have an appointment) grabbed the teeth.  They were not wrapped in plastic or anything - they were just lying there, naked, in the germs.  Damn that Oriental Trading Company!!

I told her to keep them FAR away from her mouth, and she did that day.  They got mixed in with all the other debris in the back of my car, and by the time we got home I had forgotten about them.

She found them in the back of the car on Friday, stuck them in her mouth before I could stop her, and now she's sick.  Runny nose, cough, low grade fever, sore sounding throat...  Big surprise.

I need to acknowledge that it is completely my responsibility to keep my kids out of the bucket of germ toys, and to deal with the ensuing tantrums.  It is also my responsibility to take the germ toys that they smuggle out away from them....  But I think the blame here can be shared.  A doctor who is an expert on germ theory and how illnesses are spread should know better than to put toys that are meant to be put in the mouth in a big communal bucket full of germs that the kids are going to paw though.  I mean, our doctor has small kids, too.  He knows how they are!  And I'd be willing to pay an extra penny or two per item if Oriental Trading would individually wrap their stuff.  Wouldn't you?

I suppose it's probably revenue generating.  After all, if this goes beyond a cold and turns into something serious, I'm going to be right back to the doctor's office with another co-pay!  And it's no coincidence that the play area at the mall (aka. Germ Central) is sponsored by the local network of doctors.  It's a tough economy, we've all got to do what we've got to do.

I just wish I'd taken away the damn teeth.

(They did finally get rid of the waiting room toys, after I complained about it, although it had more to do with H1N1 than my complaining.  And I really, really do love our doctor.  I know he isn't really trying to make the kids sick.  I'm just teasing about the revenue generating.  Mostly.  BJ says that it's entirely my fault and I shouldn't be upset with the doctor or with Oriental Trading Company, but he got a lot more sleep than I did last night, so he can afford to be rational.)

A Funny Thing Happened...

So a funny thing happened to me last night when I was looking at the pictures from the party.  It had been a while since I looked through the pictures on the camera, and I came across one in particular that made me pause.  "Who is that with Mary Grace?" I thought.

It could be because it's kind of dark, and it could be because of the shadows, but I didn't recognize MY OWN FACE.  (The picture was taken in the Star Wars exhibit at the U.S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville).

It was kind of a Great Moment in Weight Loss for me.

I'm not actively dieting, but I've only gained a pound with this pregnancy, which means that everything is redistributing.  My arms are smaller, and my face is apparently a lot slimmer than it used to be.  It was a very strange feeling to look at myself and not see myself.


Anyway, if you see me walking around trying to find myself, now you know why.

MG's 5th Birthday Party - with pictures!

The party was a HUGE success! Here come a few of my favorite pictures.

First, the cake! You can't tell from the picture, but the cake is vegan chocolate and is SOOOOOO good! The cupcakes were yellow cake (dyed green). They were almost too cute to eat. Cresta of "The Girl With The Most Cake" made them, and if you're local I would be more than happy to pass on her info. Lots of people (myself included) can make an ugly cake that tastes good. Lots of people can make pretty cakes that taste terrible. It takes real talent to make something that is both pretty and tasty!

Cute, huh?  In my wildest dreams, I can't imagine being that talented.  And speaking of talented.....

Anna, our new babysitter, brought her face painting supplies and painted all the kids' faces.  It was so amazingly generous of her, and the kids LOVED it!  MG was a butterfly, Claire got a flower, Gwen got an entire "Nemo" scene with water and fish, Owen was Batman, Cam was Spiderman...  Each kid had his or her own unique design.  If you're local and you want to hire Anna for your parties, I'll be happy to pass on her info, too!  She's also an amazing babysitter (but I don't share babysitters willingly, so that if you want her for sitting I will require a bribe!) and an amazing organizer if you need someone to help you come and get rid of some junk.

It's too bad no one in this photo is having any fun!

Lots of our friends and family were able to join us.  Here's Claire with Grandmother Diana:

They look so much alike!

Mary Grace tore through a lot of lovely gifts (I got distracted with Claire and missed everything).  Our friends Shannyn and Ken even stayed and helped us clean up afterward.

BJ and I are exhausted.  It's not even 10 pm, but I think I'm going to go to bed.  Right after I sneak a little more cake....

A huge thank you to everyone who helped make this day special for our big girl!!!

Follow Up: How do you handle gifts?

Well, after all of your excellent advice, here's what we did... 

We let Claire buy herself a Jessie doll with her own money.

Both of the kids have piggy banks, and somehow they accumulate money - they'll get a $5 from a grandparent for Valentine's day or a $20 from another one for a birthday, or I'll have too much change in my purse so I'll dump it in their piggy banks.  It's not like they have many incidental expenses.  Sometimes when I know we're going shopping for stuff that will bore them (like maternity clothes) I'll let them take a purse and a little bit of their money (and sunglasses and lip gloss, of course) so they can be Big Girls with their own money... but that's really the only time they have an opportunity to spend it, and that only happens once in a great while.  Generally they spend their pocket money on Polly Pockets dolls and small things like that.

Last Christmas, Claire got a FurReal cat that MG loved and coveted, so we let MG go to Walmart with some of her Christmas money from her Great-Grandma Gleason and get one for herself.  I figured this was the same sort of situation.  I may not always make the best decisions as a mother, but I try to be consistent.

So Grandpa Bob went to Indy and bought another Jessie doll, and brought it back, and Claire bought it from him.  (The ones available at our local Walmart had plastic hair, and we wanted the one with yarn hair).

Grandpa Bob may or may not have stuck that money right back in her piggy bank, but if he did, Claire didn't see him.

I'd like to say that peace has reigned in our house since then, but unfortunately that hasn't happened.  Claire is still finding things to fight over, but this attitude of hers started before the birthday festivities began.  Something else is going on with her.  I'd check to see if she has molars coming in, but I'm afraid I would lose a finger.  If she doesn't knock it off, I'm going to make her a doctor's appointment, because she's just been acting a little bit too strangely.

I mentioned on Facebook that we had to leave Wolf Park on Sunday because she was acting like such a colossal brat.  She was terrible at the zoo on Monday, too, but I just ignored her.  She did fairly well on MG's birthday, until we opened presents.  She's just got a hair trigger when it comes to crying and throwing tantrums, lately, and I can NOT figure out what has changed.  She's getting the same amount of sleep.  Her eating habits haven't changed.  She isn't much more or less active.  I haven't changed the way we discipline her (time outs) at all.  There have been moments when she has played SO nicely with MG, and then for no reason that anyone can figure out, she loses her little mind and starts hollering about something.

If anyone has any guesses, besides teething, I'd love to hear them.  She hasn't complained of being in any pain.  Do kids even get molars at 3-1/2?  I can't remember.

How do you handle gifts?

Let's imagine that I'm at my sister's birthday party.  Her birthday is after mine (mine is in April, hers is in June).  Let's pretend that she just opened a really cool gift - a new book by an author I love.  What would I do?

I know exactly what I'd do.  I'd have it ordered on my Kindle before she blew out the candles, that's what.  The last thing I would do is wait until Christmas to ask for it and then hope that I got it from someone. 

Ok, let's imagine a second situation.  My sister gets a book, and I want it, so I take it from her.  When Megan got angry, would my mom say, "Megan, you need to be a better sharer!"?  Would she insist that Megan give me a turn with her book?  Would Megan get in trouble for not sharing?  No.  She would say, "Amy, quit being a jerk and get your own book."

Exhibit A

So, based on the above, I don't see anything wrong with running right out and getting Claire a Jessie Doll like the one MG got yesterday from Grandpa (or Grandma - it was unclear who got what from whom in the chaos).  BJ says we can't because 1) we don't want them to be spoiled and 2) we work hard for our money while Claire doesn't have to do anything productive but convert oxygen to carbon dioxide for the next 15 years and therefore 3) we're not going to set the precedent of getting two sets of everything and 4) Mary Grace doesn't have to share her special toy even though 5) it's breaking Claire's little heart in spite of the fact that 6) Claire totally usurped the Woody doll that MG got and 7) MG didn't even blink because she was too busy falling in love with Jessie.


It's different for kids, BJ insists.

But Claire doesn't understand!  I counter.

That's why we have to teach her!  he says.  And I know he's right, except that it's so hard.  And people always bring gifts for the non-birthday girl in our house (we have such generous friends and family!) and it has rarely been an issue.  But they're both in love with Jessie, and you can't share a doll like that.  You can't take turns with a best friend.  It's really not fair to make Mary Grace give Claire a turn (see above re: Amy, get your own book).

So do we make her wait until Christmas?  Do we let her take her piggy bank money and buy her own Jessie?  That's what we did with Mary Grace when she wanted something Claire got last Christmas - it was a "FurReal" kitten.  Neither one of them have played with the kittens in months.  So while I'm leaning toward the "use your pocket money to get your own" option, I'm not sure that's the right thing to do.

We were not planning ahead when we had these kids 19 months apart.  That is too long between birthdays.

It's going to get 33% harder in December.

I hope Gozer's a boy.  Poor Woody needs someone to love him.

How do you, especially those of you with close-in-age same-gender children, handle birthdays and gifts?  Am I totally being a marshmallow if I take Claire to Walmart with her piggy bank money and let her buy her own? Is anyone hiring pouty three year olds?  Could I have her do some chores around the house over the next couple of days to earn enough money to buy a Jessie doll?  For the record, I hate the idea of paying kids for chores, because chores are something you do because you're part of a family, not because you get paid (no one pays me to do the laundry, after all).  But in this instance, I might be able to make an exception.

And, bigger picture, do the things we teach kids about waiting and sharing in our culture make any sense at all?  And if not, why do we teach them what we do?  Do we do it to make our own lives easier?  Does that even make any sense?