Claire - Master of Psychology

At the ripe old age of 3-1/2, Claire has mastered the psychology.

"Mary Grace, don't you want it to be my turn?"

"Mommy, don't you want me to have more cake?"


It would be maddening, if she weren't so cute.


So, has she actually mastered psychology, or is she a Jedi...?  You be the judge:

It's really no surprise when you consider who she's been hanging out with...

Who Knew?

I had no idea that there was a pertussis vaccine for parents.  I'm totally going to talk to my doctor about it (after the pregnancy, probably, because I can't even take a flipping Advil, I sincerely doubt that they're going to give me a shot). 

Thanks, J.Lo!

Editorial Decisions

And Jesus said, "WhatEVAH!"

(Please note that I am all hopped up on Benedryl, Tylenol, some residual Robitussin DM, Albuterol, lack of sleep, and strawberry ice cream right now, and this probably isn't destined to be my best writing...)


I have deleted all of the previous posts about the whole Herod thing from this blog and from Facebook.  I have only ever deleted one post before tonight, and that was because I was getting lots of creepy Google searchers coming here via the search terms "little girl's pa*t*es" (and I don't mean "parties" - it was a totally benign post about potty training and rewarding good training behavior with princess... parties, if you know what I mean).  Believe me when I say that I do NOT like deleting posts at all.

I have also disabled anonymous commenting for the foreseeable future.  If you have something to say, you're going to have to man the hell up* and put your name to it.  I am all done dealing with comments from people I may or may not know in real life, people who claim to know where my kids go to school, etc. etc. effing etc.  If you can't see, as a parent, how creepy that is, then you've got a screw loose.  It's the internet equivalent of, "The calls are coming from inside the house!!!" 

Bottom line, if you get to know who I am, or to think you do, then I get to know who you are.

Finally, I am closing comments on this post because I am done with the entire topic.  99% of what goes on at the school is good.  This is the ONLY issue we've had, and we're going into our third year there.  (Well, ok, that's a lie, the snack thing bugs me, but I'm not going to make a federal case out of it).  Preschool is OPTIONAL - I would not continue to send my kids there if there were serious, chronic, unsolvable problems.  MG's teachers have all been very warm, lovely people.  The director is a delightful, extremely compassionate, and intelligent person whom I greatly admire.  I recognize that my failure to understand the church's position on this issue is ENTIRELY due to two factors that are ENTIRELY my problem - #1 - I have a very sensitive child, and #2 - I am not religious myself**. 

Even religious people admit that you're NEVER going to find a church that you agree with 100% of the time, so considering that I can't even grant them a "given" on the basics, like the existence of God or anything supernatural, it's flipping AMAZING that the only things I've found in TWO FULL YEARS to get upset over are Herod and snack!

If you would like to talk to me further about the school or our experiences there, you're going to have to call me.  If you are Sherlocky enough to know "lots of people" whose kids go there when I didn't even mention the school by name (and when my hometown is not something I've ever published on this blog), then you're Sherlocky enough to call me and have a conversation about it.  I'm in the school directory and in the local white pages.




* I had to delete 27 separate instances of the F-bomb out of this post.  That's as restrained as it's going to get tonight.

** I have tried to be religious, it doesn't stick, I'm done pretending to have answers that I don't have.  While I LOVE the idea of religion and religiousness and the Christians win***, I do not have it in me to believe in anything that is not right in front of me, anymore.  After 34 years, I'm finally comfortable with that.  I may check out Unitarian Universalism in the future, but for right now I'd rather sleep on Sundays, thank you very much.  You're welcome to pray about it if that helps you deal with my agnosticism, but I really don't care to discuss it further.

*** Christians win because if you're right, you get to spend eternity on a cloud with a harp or whatever while I burn in the fiery pits of hell.  Meanwhile, if I'm right and after this life is eternal NOTHING, I don't even get a chance to gloat, and you'll never know the difference.

I'm going to bed. 

Vampire Virus, Part Deux (New Moon?)

I caught the vampire virus from Claire.  It's no big surprise.  The trouble is that I can't think of anything to write about that isn't whining.  

If you don't normally read the comments, then you missed the last time I was actually funny.  Maggie said that she didn't think there was a germ or illness that could live for two days on plastic teeth.   I replied, in the comments, "Maggie, it's a VAMPIRE virus!  They're immortal!!"

I'll be here all week, try the veal.

The bad news is that, like Bella's mutant half-human half-vampire baby in that stupid book, this virus grows really quickly.  I was absolutely fine on Sunday...  We had people over, I cleaned out some closets...  By the time we put the kids to bed I was feeling a little crummy, but I thought it was probably just from the dust in the closets.  A few hours later when we went to bed it was clear that I was really sick.

I saw my doctor yesterday and he gave me a Z-pack.  He's concerned about it going deeper into my lungs, which would be bad with the pregnancy.  Any infection carries a risk of preterm labor, which is not something we want to mess with, especially at only 21 weeks.  He said it's probably viral, so the antibiotics probably won't do any good, but at least they'll (hopefully) prevent further infection.

The good news is that I talked the nurse into getting rid of the plastic vampire teeth when the doctor wasn't looking.  Mooo-wah-hah-hah!

The other good news is that Baby Gozer is still kicking away in there, and other than a few elbows to my liver, to indicate that s/he is not at all thrilled with all the coughing, s/he doesn't seem phased by the vampire virus.

Hopefully his or her teeth won't be unusually pointy.

Welcome New Readers!

I picked up a few new feed subscribers and "followers" yesterday after that whole ugly episode with you-know-who about the you-know-what.

Hi new readers!

A part of me feels a lot of pressure to impress you all with my wit and my deep understanding of... something.  Another part of me had a long day and is really sleepy, and doesn't want to post at all.  But I can't disappoint all the new readers!  So here it is, today's post.

Claire (3-1/2 years old) says "melodade" instead of "lemonade" and it cracks me up. 

No no, I'm kidding.  I mean, she says that, but that isn't today's post...  Calm down.  I wouldn't want everyone to click "unsubscribe!" at once.  We might break the internet.

My midwife's husband wrote a beautiful article about her in a national magazine, but I can't link to it because it gives away my hometown which is Against Editorial Policy.  You'll just have to trust me when I tell you that the article was amazing and made me cry, and it made me so grateful that I've found my midwife, Sharon.  I loved my OB and mourned when he left town, but I couldn't be happier with the care I'm getting right now.

I'm halfway through my third pregnancy, new readers.  20 weeks yesterday, in fact.  But as we all know, the second half is longer than the first half.  For one thing, you're not even pregnant for a couple weeks of the first half, which is totally cheating.  For another, everything takes longer when you can't see your own feet.  The baby will come around Christmas.  We don't know if it's a boy or a girl.

A bunch of people are peeved with me for not finding out the baby's gender.  I tried explaining my reasoning to Jen tonight on the phone, and I'm going to see if I can summarize it here.  When you find out what you're having at 20 weeks, you have 20 more weeks to mourn the baby you're not having.  If you want a boy but you're having a girl, you have to say goodbye to all the snips and snails and puppy dog tails.  You pass cute little blue outfits in the store, and get a little wistful that you won't be able to see your little imaginary man in those cute outfits.  Of course, it's exactly the same if you want a girl and you're having a boy, except with sugar and spice and pink outfits.

However, when you find out at the birth, you don't mourn the baby you're not having.  You're so enthralled with the real baby that's in your arms, that you just pushed into the world, that you don't care if it's not the gender you were hoping to have. 

So since BJ and I honestly do not have any preference, we decided not to find out. 

Of course, that's only part of the reason - it's also part of the experience, for us, to hear, "It's a _____!" at that first moment.  There's also superstition - it's bad luck to name a baby before he or she is born!

Sometimes it's just fun to not know, and to let life unfold the way it's going to.  We don't have many mysteries in this life, anymore, and it's nice to let this baby remain a mystery until we can hold him or her.

If you're new, leave a comment and say hi!