Four

Dear Jack,

Most of the time I like you. You're cute, you're funny, you're generally easygoing and pleasant... But you and your stupid dog got up at 4 am today and failed to go back to sleep. I gave up and made coffee after two HOURS of rubbing your back and saying Shhhh. It's 6ish now. It's cold and dark and I don't like anyone or anything (except coffee).

You're on notice, mister. You get a pass this time because you're sick and because I can take a nap with you later... But if this becomes a habit I may have to join the circus.

Don't make me do that. I'm afraid of clowns.

Love,
Mom


Dear Coffee,

Words can't describe how grateful I am for you today.

Passionately,
Amy


Dear Girl Scout Cookies,

Don't make me regret selling you. All the forms and websites and money are REALLY intimidating. I suppose if I can handle government contracting accounting, though, I can probably handle you.

Government contracting rarely involved prizes or chocolate, though, so there's that.

Trepidatiously,
Amy


Dear Local Drivers,

While I am grateful that none of you hit me, I am irritated that I got caught in your post-accident traffic aftermath twice yesterday. Unacceptably high for a small town. Let's all be a wee bit more careful today, shall we?

Speedily,
Amy


Dear Weather,

While it is delightful to be able to comfortably run around in a t-shirt in December in Indiana, you're starting to freak me out. Also, a hard freeze would kill some germs and maybe we could stop being sick around here.

Let it snow,
Amy


Confidential to D.F. - glad everything went smoothly yesterday and that you're feeling better.