Wednesday, July 14, 2010

This Baby is Delicious!

Baby Gozer is the size of a naval orange. 

You may not know it if you haven't had a baby since the advent of the internet, but on most of the e-mails and websites that track fetal development from conception to birth, they compare the baby to fruits and vegetables.

I don't know why.

It's funny, though, how far some websites will go to avoid the produce cliche.  Here's the list, in order from 4 weeks on, from one of the ones I read...

This week the baby is the length of a....
Period (the punctuation kind).
Sesame Seed.
Tic Tac.
Martini olive (not that you get to see one of those until 2 years from now when the kid's weaned).
Brazil nut.
Starbucks sized sugar packet.
Vienna sausage.
Nutter butter cookie.
Flip phone (so THAT'S where I left my phone...).
Kit Kat.
Mascara tube.
Baked potato.
Deli pickle.
6" sub sandwich.
Can of Red Bull (can't have that either).
Bottle of (root) beer (oh, now they're just teasing me).
Package of Oreos (and they wonder why women gain 82 pounds).
Harry Potter book.
Foot long Chicago style hotdog.
Elementary-school recorder.
Burp cloth.
Pot roast (HAHAHAHA!)

An amusement park Churro (???).
Loaf of bread.
Britney Spears' Yorkshire Terrier, London (I can't make this stuff up).
Miniskirt (either these authors wore seriously slutty skirts, or they had seriously tall babies).
Pair of above-the-knee boots (to go with last week's skirt, I guess - hope they don't have spike heels!)
Collarbone-length pearl necklace (complete with hint about push present - isn't that special?)
American Girl doll (yikes, that's big.  I'm glad actual babies are squishy.)
Sheet cake (I hope they mean a half sheet cake and not a whole one!)
Breadbox (does anyone actually HAVE a breadbox?)
Your average longmouth bass (snort!!).
Duffle bag.
Large rabbit.
Baby (thank goodness it wasn't born last week, I'm allergic to rabbits!)

Baby is the size of a Kit Kat, huh?  Sounds like a good snack to me.  I can't wait for Oreo week!

1 comment:

strwberrryjoy said...

I have a breadbox. It's a solid wood one from Ikea. Rarely does it hold bread. It's great for shoving coupons/mail/various crap into when you have company and then bread can sit on top of it ;)