Thursday, December 6, 2012

Things I Don't Understand - Christmas Edition

What is up with the Elf on the Shelf thing??  I am so confused.

Image from's old coloring book
So it is my understanding, mainly from Pinterest, that the elf is supposed to sit on the shelf and watch the children (creepy!) and report back to Santa (gah!) but only for December.  Seems like he should be there all year, to truly be effective, unless the sins committed in October don't count toward the naughty or nice list.

Ok, I'm with you so far, even though I think it's important to teach kids to be good for the sake of being good, because it's the right thing to do, and not because there is some material reward at the end of the year for not being a brat, I have been known to say, "Santa is watching!" when one of my kids is just being a pain in the butt for no reason.  (If Santa rewards run-on sentences, I'm gonna get a pony!)

And I get the part about moving the elf every night, because he jet-sets up to the North Pole to tell Santa what you've been up to all day.  Also, it's less creepy if the elf isn't watching you while you sleep, or do other... cough... bedroom things.  Amiright?

I think we need to agree, as a culture, that the sleep-watching thing is CREEPY
But if the elf is supposed to be at the North Pole all night, talking to Santa, and if he's supposed to be the judge of whether behavior is good or bad, why is he getting up to no good in the night while the kids are asleep??

Now, granted, most of my knowledge of this phenomenon comes from Pinterest, but look at these elves...  Why would Santa trust their judgment???

But MOM!  It was funny when Gumdrop Sparklehead did it!  Why are you mad at me?
Can you say, "Ants"?  I knew you could!
I was gonna put it in the Salvation Army bucket, I swear!
He sees you when you're crapping...  He knows whether you wipe!
I find this potty theme disturbing.
Mr. Jinglepants needs to see a urologist.
Oh my God, he peed in the milk!  BARF!
Face it.  Your elf is an asshole.


Rob Monroe said...

I am with you - it's very creepy. My kid is well behaved because she is learning to be civilized. We don't stress the Santa thing at all, but of course she gets it at school and from friends. We're okay with that and think that works for some folks. I just hate the idea of pushing her to be "extra good" and threatening her with not getting something because she did something.

And I get that this time of year children seem more wound up. Yes, this time of year is extra-stressed, but that's because WE make it that way. WE drag the kids to see santa (twice if we can), keep them up late because our friend is having a party and we can't miss it.

Kathryn said...

That elf can't be gone soon enough for me! I also hate the Facebook posts people are doing with the creeper.