Snacks

Buckle up, it's time for a rant. 

Mary Grace and Claire have been enrolled in swimming lessons at the local municipal pool for the past two weeks.  They have gone every day for 25 minutes to learn to blow bubbles in the water.  Last night MG told us that today was their "party," because it's the last day of the session, and that they needed to bring snacks. 

We thought that she was confused.  Surely there's no need to bring snacks for a 25 minute class at a pool, right?  I mean, seriously.  We can't go 25 minutes without eating?  The class is from 9 - 9:25 am.  They just had breakfast for God's sake.  We figured that she learned at preschool that party = snack, and we chose to not send a snack.

BJ just texted me and said that MG was right, they were supposed to bring a snack today.


Seriously!?

Snack was the hardest part of preschool for me.  I understand that some kids don't get breakfast, and so it might make sense for those kids to get a snack in the morning between breakfast and lunch.  Most of those kids, however, don't go to our preschool.  If parents can't afford breakfast for their kids, how are they going to pay for preschool that costs $75 a month?  Preschool only runs from 9 - 11:30 am.  It's not like the average kid in our fairly affluent town is going to starve to death if they eat breakfast at 8 and then lunch at noon and nothing in between!  And if there is a kid in the class who is at risk, they could make special arrangements for him instead of feeding the whole class daily. 

However, the school disagrees, so every day we had to have a snack.  Fine, whatever.  I didn't want to become that mom over this. I've got 18 years of being that mom in my future, why start over snack?

A cupcake for Fat Tuesday - coincidence?

But you should have seen some of the cupcakes that kids brought for their birthdays and half birthdays to eat at 11 am!  How am I supposed to teach my kids about healthy eating if they're getting a 500 calorie cupcake for elevensies?  (I'm not kidding - the average frosted cupcake has 500 calories - look it up.  When you're 3 or 4 years old, that's 1/2 to 1/4 of your recommended daily intake - and seriously, 2000 calories a day for a 4 year old seems awfully high to me).

Mary Grace always saved at least half of her snack to share with Claire (awwww!), so I didn't worry too much about her overeating, but for plenty of other kids, overeating is a serious, serious problem.  One third of our nation's children are overweight. 

Look, I understand that everyone needs a treat once in a while.  I understand that breaking the rules and eating cake for breakfast every now and then makes for good memories.  I understand that eating junk and not giving a rip is part of what makes childhood fun and special.  They have their whole lives to eat salads, why start now?  (Actually, because Claire likes them and orders them in restaurants, that's why, but that's another post).  But when we can't celebrate the tiniest, most insignificant milestone (like finishing a two freakin' week swimming class) without eating something, I think we've got a problem.  When we get treats all the time, for every little thing, they cease to be special.

This isn't what I want for my kids.

The thing is, when you're a kid and you're only eating 1000 or 1500 calories a day, you can't let a cupcake be 500 of them.  You need fruits and vegetables and protein and nutrients and not empty calories full of high fructose corn syrup and transfats to make up the vast, vast majority of your diet.  Otherwise you're going to look like the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Kid by third grade!  And SO MANY parents are letting their kids drink soda, or unlimited amounts of juice...  These kids can't afford this institutionalized ........ (sound of needle being ripped off of a record).

OK, BJ just got home with the kids and their "goodie bags," which contained:

• A juice box
• Three homemade cookies
• A snack-sized package of Scooby Doo graham cracker snacks
• A snack-sized package of Mini-Oreos
• Cantaloupe
• A Tootsie Roll

And now BJ and I are the bad guys because we aren't letting them dive in head first.  He let them eat the cantaloupe and the (small) Tootsie Roll while they were there.

It's going to have to start with us.  We, as parents, are going to have to be the bad guys and we're going to have to say, "Enough is enough!  They don't need a snack during a 2-1/2 hour class!  They don't need a party after finishing a 2 week class!  And if you want to have a reward - fine, have a party, but don't center it around food!  Give them a coupon for free admission to the pool, instead.  That makes a hell of a lot more sense than giving them a 750 calorie bag of junk food after a class that their parents enrolled them in to promote physical fitness!"

We're going to have to demand that the government stop double-subsidizing garbage (first subsidizing the farmers who grow the corn to make the HFCS, then giving the poor food stamps and allowing them to buy soda full of the poison).  Why don't they subsidize apples?  Or broccoli? 

I've had it.  I was ready to call the people in charge of the swim class and give them a piece of my mind, but BJ pointed out that we have the option to opt out of the optional swimming classes.  Fine.  He's right.  We'll vote with our wallets, both with the classes and at the grocery store.  Because I love my kids I will continue to be the bad guy.  And I'll hope that they'll understand when they're the only kids in their third grade class who can walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded.

This Baby is Delicious!

Baby Gozer is the size of a naval orange. 

You may not know it if you haven't had a baby since the advent of the internet, but on most of the e-mails and websites that track fetal development from conception to birth, they compare the baby to fruits and vegetables.

I don't know why.

It's funny, though, how far some websites will go to avoid the produce cliche.  Here's the list, in order from 4 weeks on, from one of the ones I read...

This week the baby is the length of a....
Period (the punctuation kind).
Sesame Seed.
Tadpole.
Tic Tac.
Blueberry.
Martini olive (not that you get to see one of those until 2 years from now when the kid's weaned).
Brazil nut.
Starbucks sized sugar packet.
Vienna sausage.
Nutter butter cookie.
Flip phone (so THAT'S where I left my phone...).
Kit Kat.
Mascara tube.
Baked potato.
Deli pickle.
6" sub sandwich.
Can of Red Bull (can't have that either).
Bottle of (root) beer (oh, now they're just teasing me).
Package of Oreos (and they wonder why women gain 82 pounds).
Harry Potter book.
Foot long Chicago style hotdog.
Elementary-school recorder.
Burp cloth.
Pot roast (HAHAHAHA!)

An amusement park Churro (???).
Loaf of bread.
Britney Spears' Yorkshire Terrier, London (I can't make this stuff up).
Miniskirt (either these authors wore seriously slutty skirts, or they had seriously tall babies).
Pair of above-the-knee boots (to go with last week's skirt, I guess - hope they don't have spike heels!)
Collarbone-length pearl necklace (complete with hint about push present - isn't that special?)
American Girl doll (yikes, that's big.  I'm glad actual babies are squishy.)
Sheet cake (I hope they mean a half sheet cake and not a whole one!)
Breadbox (does anyone actually HAVE a breadbox?)
Your average longmouth bass (snort!!).
Duffle bag.
Large rabbit.
Baby (thank goodness it wasn't born last week, I'm allergic to rabbits!)


Baby is the size of a Kit Kat, huh?  Sounds like a good snack to me.  I can't wait for Oreo week!

Shoes!

Nobody paid me to write this post, and nobody's going to pay me when you buy these shoes, but since I love you and I want you to be happy, you have to go right now and buy yourself a pair of these:

Here's the link.  They only come in whole sizes, so go up a size if you wear a half size (like I do).  They'll still fit.  Mom and I both have bad feet, and these feel fantastic.  My sister, who has more typical feet, also likes them.  I was nervous about ordering shoes online, but they're awesome.

If you haven't already, sign up for their mailing list and wait for the 20% off coupon before you order.

This is my first pair of Crocs.  I had to wait for them to get cute.  It was worth the wait.

Oh hey, they're cheaper at Amazon if you don't want to sign up for the mailing list, and I'll get a buck if you click through this picture and order them:



You won't be sorry!

Clairisms

I me'am Claire

One of the fun things about having a 3 year old is the secret language that they come up with naturally as they try to figure out the weirdness of English.  Here are a few examples of the Clairisms we hear daily that may require a bit of translation for anyone who doesn't live here...

I me'am - I am - Claire says this so consistently, it's so much a part of her everyday speech, that I'm really going to miss it when she outgrows it.  She'll also say, "Here me'am," when playing hide and seek.  The construction makes more sense here - she's just got her "I's" and "me's" mixed up.  And so when she says "I me'am" she's hedging her bets and using both.

Formiss - forget - This one took me a while to figure out, but the construction makes sense.  Before she goes to sleep she'll say, "Don't formiss the hug!  Don't formiss the kiss!"  Well, when you forget something, you don't get it, you miss it.  I actually think this is the smartest Clairism.  So, instead of saying, "Don't forget the hug," it's "Don't formiss the hug," every night.  Sweet!

Ladies and gentlemen!  I proma resent... - Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present - I just think it's so cute that she can fluently say the word "gentlemen," but she hasn't been about to figure out "proud to present."  She's got it close, down to just a couple of missing syllables...  She'll stand on the stairs and do puppet shows, and she'll be "proma resent" the main character.

Lasterday - yesterday - "We went to the library lasterday."  Makes more sense than yesterday.  Yesterday wasn't the yest day, it was the last day.  What's a yest? 

We didn't correct these sorts of things with Mary Grace, and she has already sorted them out by 4-1/2 - most of them are long gone - so I don't worry that Claire won't ever be able to speak the King's English if I don't correct these now.  It's a normal part of speech development, as far as I'm concerned, and a very cute phase.  So many of the phases they go through at 2 and 3 are the opposite of cute - I hate to rush her through the one that's adorable.

What do your kids say that's too cute to correct?

A Very Medical Day

I had my second prenatal appointment with my midwife yesterday.  Everything is great.  I've actually lost a pound (not that I'm trying - I'm eating when I'm hungry, and I'm eating whatever sounds good, it's just how things have worked out).  My blood pressure was an unprecedented 104/58.  The baby's heartrate was 160 bpm.  Old wives will tell you that means it's another girl, but I don't know.  This pregnancy has been so different from the other two, I'm thinking boy.

We'll find out in December. 

Here's a tip - don't wear a dress to a prenatal appointment.  Normally when you wear pants (or a skirt) and a shirt, they just lift your shirt to listen to the heart.  Um, duh.  How many dozen prenatal visits have I been to?  But I swore off of pants (everything squeezes and makes me want to throw up - or it's too big and they fall off) and have been wearing dresses almost exclusively, and it made the whole heartbeat-listening part a little awkward. 

I really, really like my midwife.  Do you know anyone who just makes you feel calm without saying a word?  She has that quality.  It'll be good for me during the birth, because I tend to be high strung (I know this comes as a complete shock to most of you).  I'm really excited about having a midwife this time.  So far she's on board with all of our preferences (inducing but otherwise a natural birth, leaving the hospital after 12 hours if the baby and I are both fine, etc.).  I told BJ that I just don't want to spend the whole pregnancy fighting, and it doesn't look like I'll have to, which is a big relief. 

We're donating the baby's umbilical cord blood for Huntington's disease research (and if you're pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant, by all means e-mail me and I will give you more information about it).  We did this with Claire's too.  Mary Grace was born too quickly, and we ended up leaving the collection kit in the car (I was HUGELY disappointed).

BJ took my car yesterday and I took his, because he had the kids.  I had left the paperwork for the donation in my car, though, so it wasn't where I was.  After I picked the kids up from school I ran it back down to the midwife's office (ALLLLL the way across town near the hospital). I could've waited, I mean, we have 5 months, but I didn't want to lose it in the 8 weeks between now and when I see my midwife again (next time I'll see my backup OB).

So everything proceeded pretty normally, I went into my usual afternoon coma and the kids watched a movie. Then, just after dinner, Claire stuck a bead up her nose.  I tried to get it out with a Q-tip, but I could barely see it and I was terribly afraid to push it in farther, so we went to the ER.  She was freaking out at home, but calmed down enough to fall asleep in the car (told you it was allllll the way across town).  Sleep was exactly what she needed, though, because as we were standing at the desk talking to the admitting nurses, I saw a bit of the bead peeking out of her nostril.  I held the other side of her nose and she blew and out it came - before we paid for the ER visit!  HOORAY!!  She must have relaxed and stopped crying long enough for the tissue swelling around the bead to go down. 

Right after she blew it out I grabbed our insurance card off of the counter and said, "Quick, let's get out of here before they charge us!"  Heee...

We managed to get the kids back home and to bed only a little bit later than usual.

That was our first ER visit since MG had rotavirus in February of 2007.  Not bad for a family with small kids.

What have your kids stuck in their noses?