I'm not going to keep boring you with my diet, but I'm TEN POUNDS down since Sunday! I called the doctor's office this morning, because people kept telling me to, and asked the triage nurse her thoughts. "Could they have slipped a tapeworm into my fiber supplements?" She said as long as I'm not passing out, I'm fine. She suggested that I up my calories (from 1500 to 1800) and I'm like, "No thanks, this is working just fine for me." I can do this until Christmas. By then I'll be a very cute little elf. I am going to have to ask Santa for a whole bunch of really cute, really little clothes! Ok, enough about that. Reading about someone else's diet is about as much fun as reading about a root canal, right?
Meanwhile, the Halloween pictures are stuck on the CF card, so I'll have to wait until BJ gets home and reminds me how to get them off of the card to show them to you.
However, I have to take a minute to complain. What's with the kids in the white t-shirt and jeans and slicked back hair who are 50s dudes, who don't even have a pack of Pall Malls rolled up in their sleeves? Where's the realism?? And what about the "hobos" who are wearing an old flannel shirt and jeans. At least put some dirt on your face and mess your hair up. Put in a little effort, ok? And I'll tell you what, the next teenager who comes to my house is getting a Trick, instead of a Treat. Seriously. Get a job and go buy candy if you're over 15, ok?
What's your cut off age for trick or treating in your family?
I did manage to get some serious cleaning of the kitchen, dining room, and living room done while BJ has been out with the kids. I worked up a sweat, so you know it looks better. The Roomba is hard at work picking up the dog hair. Yeurrgh. I really need to vacuum and stuff tomorrow. People walking past the house in black pants are getting covered with dust and fur. It's just wrong.
What did you do tonight?
The news I'm listening to just suggested that people get in line to vote this weekend. What is this, a rock concert? Everyone I know has voted early. I haven't had the opportunity, because Allison was sick last week. But, I'm going to vote Tuesday, and if there's a line, well, that will just be weird.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Playing Catch-Up
I was at a conference all day today for work (we got an award that's two pieces of glass, and there's no way to hook them together. I guess we need some superglue?! But it's pretty and it's an award, so whatever...) and I'm trying to quickly catch up on my e-mail, blogs, and SP before I take the kids to get pumpkins to make into jack o' lanterns tonight...
I wanted to address a couple comments real quick, though, lest they get old...
Anon 1 - Jen is one of my best friends, and when she says, "I told you months ago," I know what spirit she intends it to be taken in. When you've known someone for 18 years, you get to use shorthand. Besides, she's been on WW for a while, now, so she knows what she's talking about.
Having known someone for 18 years makes me feel extremely old.
In other news... A little old lady was coming up the hill into town in front of me, and was going 35 in a 55. She pulled over, then was shading her eyes and bending forward as I passed her. I thought, "OMG, old lady having a stroke!" and pulled over. She looked just like BJ's grandmother. As I approached her car, she started to get out. I started to run, thinking that she was confused and about to walk into traffic. "ARE YOU OK?" I shouted as I approached. I couldn't hear her reply. "What's wrong, what's wrong?" I said, taking her arm.... "I just wanted to take some pictures..." she said, showing me her little disposible camera.
I felt kinda stupid.
Anon 2 - Long time readers of ye ol' blog know that I'm a huge advocate of eating locally. Our food co-op just ended for the year (I still have a few random things in the crisper). We buy our beef from a relative who raises cattle about an hour south of here, and it's grain fed, no hormones, no antibiotics, etc. etc. We drink the ultra-expensive organic milk (you thought GAS was expensive this summer - $6-$7 a GALLON for this stuff!!). Thanks for continuing to beat the drum!
ChicagoGoebel - I said a year too. MG went for 28 months, and Claire is still going at 19 months, the little addicts. I nursed through my whole pregnancy with Claire and for 9 months after Claire was born I nursed both of them. IT SUCKED (pun intended) and I highly recommend that no one attempt it, holy carp...
Seriously, someone needs to start a 12 step program for extended nursers. The first step is admitting that your mom's boobs have a problem...
Tootsie - I'm trying to stay around 1500 calories. It's not much, but I'm doing ok so far. SparkRecipes.com has a recipe calculator, and you can share your recipes with the rest of the class and EASILY add them as a "custom food" in your daily menu.
Stupid conference totally blew my diet today, even though I scraped all the cheese off of the sandwich, only ate half the fries, and just nibbled at the dessert. I should have asked for the veg plate, but it was a wrap that was mostly sprouts, and I hate sprouts, and it looked terrible. Oh well, I did ok, and tomorrow's another day.
Wait a minute, tomorrow's Halloween. Screw it, Saturday's another day.
We're going to go get our punkins now. Couldn't do the punkin patch this year, because everyone's been sick this week.
I wanted to address a couple comments real quick, though, lest they get old...
Anon 1 - Jen is one of my best friends, and when she says, "I told you months ago," I know what spirit she intends it to be taken in. When you've known someone for 18 years, you get to use shorthand. Besides, she's been on WW for a while, now, so she knows what she's talking about.
Having known someone for 18 years makes me feel extremely old.
In other news... A little old lady was coming up the hill into town in front of me, and was going 35 in a 55. She pulled over, then was shading her eyes and bending forward as I passed her. I thought, "OMG, old lady having a stroke!" and pulled over. She looked just like BJ's grandmother. As I approached her car, she started to get out. I started to run, thinking that she was confused and about to walk into traffic. "ARE YOU OK?" I shouted as I approached. I couldn't hear her reply. "What's wrong, what's wrong?" I said, taking her arm.... "I just wanted to take some pictures..." she said, showing me her little disposible camera.
I felt kinda stupid.
Anon 2 - Long time readers of ye ol' blog know that I'm a huge advocate of eating locally. Our food co-op just ended for the year (I still have a few random things in the crisper). We buy our beef from a relative who raises cattle about an hour south of here, and it's grain fed, no hormones, no antibiotics, etc. etc. We drink the ultra-expensive organic milk (you thought GAS was expensive this summer - $6-$7 a GALLON for this stuff!!). Thanks for continuing to beat the drum!
ChicagoGoebel - I said a year too. MG went for 28 months, and Claire is still going at 19 months, the little addicts. I nursed through my whole pregnancy with Claire and for 9 months after Claire was born I nursed both of them. IT SUCKED (pun intended) and I highly recommend that no one attempt it, holy carp...
Seriously, someone needs to start a 12 step program for extended nursers. The first step is admitting that your mom's boobs have a problem...
Tootsie - I'm trying to stay around 1500 calories. It's not much, but I'm doing ok so far. SparkRecipes.com has a recipe calculator, and you can share your recipes with the rest of the class and EASILY add them as a "custom food" in your daily menu.
Stupid conference totally blew my diet today, even though I scraped all the cheese off of the sandwich, only ate half the fries, and just nibbled at the dessert. I should have asked for the veg plate, but it was a wrap that was mostly sprouts, and I hate sprouts, and it looked terrible. Oh well, I did ok, and tomorrow's another day.
Wait a minute, tomorrow's Halloween. Screw it, Saturday's another day.
We're going to go get our punkins now. Couldn't do the punkin patch this year, because everyone's been sick this week.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
WFMW: Shrinking
Regular readers of ye ol' blog will know that I've been hinting around about something called SparkPeople for the past couple of days... I wanted to save the full description for my WFMW post, so that I can share this tool (which is, essentially, what it is) with as many people as possible.First, a little background... I started gaining weight with puberty, but unlike most of my peers, I didn't gain the height to balance it out (I'm 5'4"). And I love to cook, and I love food. And I really, really hate to exercise. Fast forward to 32 years of age, and I find myself with a lot of weight to lose. A lot. Like 85 pounds.
That would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to admit on the internet, for all the world to see, if it weren't for SparkPeople.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Over the years I've tried joining a gym (expensive, and absolutely no change in my body whatsoever), dieting (usually long enough to go to the store, buy all the diet food, see the Oreos, decide to "treat myself," eat the entire package of Oreos, loathe myself, and swear that dieting doesn't work.... HAHAHA!), Weight Watchers (lost 10 pounds over the course of several months, HATED the meetings), aerobics (kill. me. now.) and so on.Here's the thing - I've always started these things from a point of discouragement and feeling beaten and desperate - never out of excitement or enthusiasm, never from a point of strength.
Then I heard about SparkPeople. Married friends of ours had each (EACH!) lost 20 pounds in a MONTH using the COMPLETELY FREE SparkPeople program. Clearly this required further investigation.
I joined Sunday. I've lost 4 pounds. I've learned how to eat better (I am not going to bore y'all with endless stories about what I ate and how much and blah blah because you're here to see cute kids, not hear about my diet. BORING. But Monday I thought I'd been really good, even though I was up in Grammaland I only ate about half what I normally would at dinner, and I ordered the healthiest thing on the menu at lunch - I overdid my target calories by about 1100. And I thought I'd been good! It was really eye opening). I got up and exercised Monday and Tuesday. I bought a Swiss ball to help me exercise. I bought a yoga mat. I planned what I was going to eat when I went out for lunch on Tuesday BEFORE I left the house, and I stuck to it, and felt GREAT afterwards...
It's a very good thing.
Here's how it works -
Under myNutrition, you can get personalized menus (which you can totally customize - let's say tonight is fish and spinach, but you hate both, you can click on them and substitute chicken and broccoli instead, and it doesn't let you substitute ice cream. Hahaha... You can also add custom food, which is handy. I added my morning coffee and copied it to every day). It keeps track of calories, carbs, fat, and protein. It prints reports so you can see how you've done over time. There's a "quick track" area to keep track of how many glasses of water you're drinking, and how many servings of fruit and veg you're eating. It's a very powerful tool for keeping track of what you're putting in your mouth. I had no idea I was mindlessly eating so much (and that I was eating so much even when I thought I was being mindful!). You get points for tracking your food and reaching your goals (water, etc.). It prints your grocery list for you, so that you don't even have to think when you go to the store. I've paid for things (like Saving Dinner) to do that in the past. This is still free, and fully customizable. And it covers all three meals plus one snack a day, where Saving Dinner was just dinner.
Under myFitness, you can enter how much cardio and strength training you've done each day. It recommends various activities for you based on what equipment you said you had available. If you don't like crunches (and really, who does?) you can swap them out for some other exercise that's more comfortable. You get points for tracking your exercise. It prints reports, too.
Under Weigh In you can enter your weight and measurements (you can fully customize this, too, if you want to keep track of the size of your thighs, it allows you to put in a place, and it will graph it along with the standard chest, waist, hips, etc). I can't even tell you how reinforcing it is to start to see that line go down, down, down.
There is a vast community of people on SparkPeople, too, and they're very positive, encouraging, and AVAILABLE 24/7. I've been posting a lot (you get points) in the group "DONE being the fat girl!" (ha) and the main message boards. If you wake up at 3 am and want to eat every Oreo in town, there's someone there, online, to talk you down.
There is a library of information about nutrition, health, and fitness. If you don't know how to properly do a reverse crunch, you can watch a brief, commercial free video that will show you. If you want to learn more about abdominal adhesions, you can find out, for free (and get points). If you want to compare 1/2 of a banana to 3/4 cup apple slices, in terms of nutrition, you can (personally, I'd go for the apple). If you want to see exactly how much that 1/2 cup of fro yo is going to put you over your calories for the day, and what you're going to need to give up in order to fit it in, you can.
People, I am telling you, I have NEVER been this motivated about anything weight loss. Ever. I only wish this had existed for the year before I got married. I might not have been the wide bride.
Did I mention that I've already lost 4 pounds? Since Sunday? That's half of what I lost doing Weight Watchers for like 3 or 4 months, and SparkPeople is FREE.
In a nutshell, SparkPeople is like Facebook with a purpose, and every bit as addictive. My username is Amy0526, and I really hope that if you want to change your life, you'll join SparkPeople and "friend" me. Because I am DONE being the fat girl. I want my kids to grow up with a healthy, strong mother who teaches them how to stay healthy and fit. I want to be able to play with them until they're worn out. I want to be BJ's trophy wife :) . And I want you to come with me.
Shrinking Works for ME! Visit Shannon at Rocks in my Dryer for more WFMW tips!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Angelina Ballerina
My Mobile Office
Claire and I had lunch with a friend, and she fell asleep in the car (Claire, not the friend) on the way home, so I ran inside and grabbed my laptop, and I am now typing to you, live, from my driveway.
God, how I love technology.
Mary Grace is a total punk. We've really been struggling to get her to go to bed on her own, in her room. Our routine has been bath, jammies, brush teeth, read two stories, then Daddy dances with Claire until she tries to roll out of his arms and he lays her down, shusshes her, and she goes to sleep, and I lay down and snuggle with MG until she's asleep. Sometimes she takes upwards of an hour to fall asleep (melatonin helps, but with this cold we've been giving her Benadryl, and we don't want to totally knock her out, so we've held back on the melatonin...). Sunday night, BJ had her asleep 3 times (because I was so. done. oh. my. God), and three times she woke herself up when he tried to sneak out of her room... So, we set up a star chart where if she falls asleep on her own (I'll snuggle with her until Claire is asleep, but then BJ and I are both leaving the room) 7 nights, and if she sleeps all night in her own bed for 7 nights, we'll buy her a friend for her Cinderella doll.
Last night, though, she was at my mom's, and apparently the little cretin fell asleep by herself in a STRANGE BED in less than 10 minutes, with no farting around.
I told my mom, "You can just keep her."
Seriously, I understand WHY they save their best behavior for when they're away from home, and I'm glad that she's being good for Gramma, but could a Mommy and Daddy get a little love? Honestly. I have spent months of my life trying to get that girl to go to sleep. It's just so unfair!
I miss her though. It's weird to not have her around, and I don't think I'm going to last much more than one more night before I want my babybackbabybackbabyback...
I guess if she's going to be extra special good, I'd rather have her be extra good for her grandparents and the assorted sitters and other caregivers in our lives, so that everyone else thinks we're spectacular parents. We know the truth.
Mom and Mary Grace are going to get gear for her new intro to ballet and tap dancing class today. I can't wait to see her tiny little ballet slippers. That's going to be Grandma's Christmas present to Mary Grace this year. Awesome!
If you need gift ideas for the 3 year old girl in your life, I humbly suggest anything princess, especially the princess Barbie dolls... Anything dress up... Anything with kids' music (because she's trying to drive me insane with that kids' music!!)... She is at a really fun age. (Incidentally, she wears a 4T and size 10 shoes (toddler).
The other big news that I don't think I shared yet is that she got promoted to the 4&5 year olds gymnastics class, even though she's only 3 years, 2 months old! She is such a good listener and direction follower that the owner, Sarah, said that she's ready to move on, and that the new, longer class will keep her challenged and engaged. AWESOME!
Once again, though, can we get a little listening and direction following at home? *sigh*
God, how I love technology.
Mary Grace is a total punk. We've really been struggling to get her to go to bed on her own, in her room. Our routine has been bath, jammies, brush teeth, read two stories, then Daddy dances with Claire until she tries to roll out of his arms and he lays her down, shusshes her, and she goes to sleep, and I lay down and snuggle with MG until she's asleep. Sometimes she takes upwards of an hour to fall asleep (melatonin helps, but with this cold we've been giving her Benadryl, and we don't want to totally knock her out, so we've held back on the melatonin...). Sunday night, BJ had her asleep 3 times (because I was so. done. oh. my. God), and three times she woke herself up when he tried to sneak out of her room... So, we set up a star chart where if she falls asleep on her own (I'll snuggle with her until Claire is asleep, but then BJ and I are both leaving the room) 7 nights, and if she sleeps all night in her own bed for 7 nights, we'll buy her a friend for her Cinderella doll.
Last night, though, she was at my mom's, and apparently the little cretin fell asleep by herself in a STRANGE BED in less than 10 minutes, with no farting around.
I told my mom, "You can just keep her."
Seriously, I understand WHY they save their best behavior for when they're away from home, and I'm glad that she's being good for Gramma, but could a Mommy and Daddy get a little love? Honestly. I have spent months of my life trying to get that girl to go to sleep. It's just so unfair!
I miss her though. It's weird to not have her around, and I don't think I'm going to last much more than one more night before I want my babybackbabybackbabyback...
I guess if she's going to be extra special good, I'd rather have her be extra good for her grandparents and the assorted sitters and other caregivers in our lives, so that everyone else thinks we're spectacular parents. We know the truth.
Mom and Mary Grace are going to get gear for her new intro to ballet and tap dancing class today. I can't wait to see her tiny little ballet slippers. That's going to be Grandma's Christmas present to Mary Grace this year. Awesome!
If you need gift ideas for the 3 year old girl in your life, I humbly suggest anything princess, especially the princess Barbie dolls... Anything dress up... Anything with kids' music (because she's trying to drive me insane with that kids' music!!)... She is at a really fun age. (Incidentally, she wears a 4T and size 10 shoes (toddler).
The other big news that I don't think I shared yet is that she got promoted to the 4&5 year olds gymnastics class, even though she's only 3 years, 2 months old! She is such a good listener and direction follower that the owner, Sarah, said that she's ready to move on, and that the new, longer class will keep her challenged and engaged. AWESOME!
Once again, though, can we get a little listening and direction following at home? *sigh*
Addicted
Ok, y'all, this is just a quickie because it's 1 am... BUT...
I am ADDICTED to SparkPeople! If you want to lose weight, or want to be healthier and exercise more, you have to join. Tell 'em Amy0526 sent you!
Nighty night!!
I am ADDICTED to SparkPeople! If you want to lose weight, or want to be healthier and exercise more, you have to join. Tell 'em Amy0526 sent you!
Nighty night!!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Lucky
I may have mentioned a time or two that our roof leaks, right? Mary Grace and I were upstairs sleeping, and BJ and Claire were outside just a few minutes ago. There's a cold front blowing in, so it's super windy... The wind blew the tarp, and a couple of the bricks, off the roof.
The what ifs can break your heart, as a parent. What if Claire had been hit? What if BJ had been hit, knocked out, and Claire was left outside all by herself while I slept, oblivious, upstairs? What if the three or four bricks that are right outside the window of the room where we were sleeping had come in and hit Mary Grace, hit me? Yikes.
****
I'm investigating SparkPeople. So far, I'm really liking it. Friends of ours who shall remain nameless, unless they want public recognition, are married and have each lost around 20 pounds. I'm going to try to stick to it for a whole month. We'll see...
The what ifs can break your heart, as a parent. What if Claire had been hit? What if BJ had been hit, knocked out, and Claire was left outside all by herself while I slept, oblivious, upstairs? What if the three or four bricks that are right outside the window of the room where we were sleeping had come in and hit Mary Grace, hit me? Yikes.
****
I'm investigating SparkPeople. So far, I'm really liking it. Friends of ours who shall remain nameless, unless they want public recognition, are married and have each lost around 20 pounds. I'm going to try to stick to it for a whole month. We'll see...
Saturday, October 25, 2008
The People at Cookie Magazine Are Insane
You thought I was nuts, I was just reading through Cookie Magazine (BJ's on a date with my auxiliary husband Brandon), and you have to hear their suggestions for Thanksgiving -
JUST COOK THE TURKEY
Um, ok, but that's a pretty darn boring meal, right?
Not if you're willing to go broke on the internet! Apparently you can get everything else delivered for your feast - if you're willing to pay...
GET REAL!
Fear not. I am here. I could feed every single reader of this blog, plus have extra to send home with everyone for leftovers for $500. Here is your real-world Thanksgiving menu:
Turkey
Mashed potatoes
Gravy
Real Cranberry Sauce
Stuffing (none of this fancy apple and sage crap, either... Let's keep it real, huh?)
Root vegetable gratin (I can kick it all Martha, you just watch me!)
French green beans
Yeast rolls (here we will cheat - keep reading)
Pumpkin pie (it's so easy...)
Spiced nuts
Pumpkin butter (now I'm just getting crazy!)
Step 1: Skip the soup. Who is going to eat soup when there's turkey and stuffing to be had? Don't waste your time or your money. You also do not need 40 pies. I promise.
Step 2: Ask your guests to bring something. One year I had Susan and Jill do dessert (and they went NUTS with pies and fabulous sugary goodness). My mom makes the best stuffing on the planet. There's no reason why one person should do all the work (but you totally can, keep reading). (Please note - asking guests to pitch in works a LOT better when you tell them what to bring. Have your mother in law pick up the rolls and the can of cranberry goo. Have your sister bring the stuffing. Don't just say, "Oh, bring anything," or you'll end up with 40 pies. You don't need 40 pies).
Step 3: Talk your husband into deep frying the turkey. It helps if he's a rocket scientist. But having the turkey in the deep fryer out on the patio will free up your oven for the really important stuff(ing).
Step 4: Start shopping now. If frozen bags of whole or french green beans go on sale, snap them up (intended). I see family sized bags of veggies for $1 at my Kroger all the time. Get two. Add butter, slivered blanched almonds, and a slice of bacon (crumbled), and you've got yourself a fancy-pants side dish that's way tastier and healthier than green bean casserole (with apologies to aunts and grandmas). Get a pie pumpkin - they always disappear by T-day around here, and you can't use the jack-o-lantern kind for baking. Buy frozen yeast rolls (I like Rhodes, and Palmer House) and get lots because those puppies are good. Get a jar of pumpkin butter. Buy a bag of cranberries. Get a frozen pie crust or two. All of these things will keep.
Step 5: Get my mom's recipe for stuffing. When she insists that she doesn't know how she makes it because she doesn't measure things, pin her down and insist that she guesstimate and leave the recipe in the comments.
Step 6: Two weeks before T-day, go to AllRecipes and figure out what you want to make. I've made a ton of their recipes, and they always turn out great (I always choose 4 or 5 star recipes). One year I made cranberry and blueberry sauce from scratch, and it was awesome. It made that canned crap taste like... canned crap. (But you'll want to buy a can of that canned crap because there are some godless heathens who insist on eating it, even when you've slaved over your homemade awesome cranberry sauce. Pfft...)
Oh hell, the kids are watching Aladdin and this is a full service blog, I will do it for you.
Fried turkey (ignore the picture and the cajun rub - just use the instructions)
Mashed potatoes (they're so easy from scratch - skip the boxed stuff, it's a holiday. You can make these 2 days ahead! I put mine in the crock pot on "warm" for the big day.)
Gravy (if you don't know how to make gravy, start practicing now. I'm so Martha, I even have turkey stock in my freezer and ready to go because you don't get any drippings when you deep fry a turkey. That is called planning ahead. You can too, all you have to do is get one of those turkey breasts, make it for dinner this week, then boil the crap out of the carcas with some carrots, onion, and celery, strain it, and put it in the freezer. Then just thicken it with some cornstarch mixed with water and add a little kitchen bouquet on the big day... I don't strain the fat out of my broth, so I don't need drippings later. Or use the recipe I linked to, which doesn't require a turkey AND you can make ahead).
Cranberry Sauce (either make the blue cranberry sauce I linked to above, or try a variant.
Orange would be nice... It's easy. You clean the berries, boil them with some sugar until half of them pop, and poof - cranberry sauce. It's almost as easy as opening the can... and it tastes BETTER if you make it ahead).
Stuffing - we'll wait on my mom for this one, but it's basically bread, onion, celery, seasonings, egg, and broth... NOT rocket science. Unless you stuff the turkey and try to deep fry it, in which case it may actually launch...
Root vegetable gratin - ok, seriously, it is criminal that someone is charging $4.50 a serving for this, because it is too easy. On Wednesday night before T-day, peel carrots and parsnips (don't be scared, they're good), and then quarter them and cut them into 3 or 4 inch sticks. You don't need to be precise. Put them in a ziplock bag in the crisper. About 35 minutes before you want to eat, put them in a 425 degree oven with a healthy drizzle of olive oil, salt, and pepper. Mix it around once or twice while it's cooking. Poof - I just saved you $40. If you want to really go nuts, add diced fennel, cubed squash (acorn, etc. - hard ones, not zucchini or yellow summer squash), radishes (no kidding, they get really sweet and nice), sweet potato... It'll knock your socks off, and it's healthy, and it makes a ton. It smells great, and looks beautiful in a big, pretty bowl.
French green beans - frozen green beans, slivered blanched almonds, crispy bacon (not Bacon Bitz, for the love of God. Science still hasn't figured out what those are made of)... Boil the beans according to package directions, toss with a healthy helping of butter, the almonds and bacon. Seriously, why would you pay $17 for 24 ounces of this when you could make 24 ounces at home for a couple bucks, and still have bacon leftover for tomorrow's breakfast???
Some things are worth buying. Yeast rolls are one. Unless you're particulary skilled with yeast (which I am not) just buy a few packages of the Rhodes rolls. I promise not to tell. I like the soft ones that come in a round pan, but the ones that you do on a cookie sheet are nice, too. They have a harder crust. You could probably buy enough rolls to feed the whole neighborhood for $18 (which is what you'd spend online to be able to feed 8 people).
Pumpkin pie - Ree at The Pioneer Woman Cooks has a photo tutorial on how to make your own pumpkin puree - it is so easy. And yes, you can make it ahead. Then all you have to do is plug it into a pumpkin pie recipe - like this one or this one or this one - and you're good to go. I'm crust impaired, so I buy ready-to-use crusts. You can make one, too. Make your pie a day ahead. It's ok.
If you have some extra pumpkin puree lying around, add some yogurt, powdered sugar, and spices and make your own pumpkin butter (for like $1, versus the $8 jar that Cookie Magazine would have us buy). Or you can probably find a jar of it at your local farmer's market (which is where I get mine) or even near the jellies in the grocery store. It is not such an exotic thing that you need to have it shipped in from some internet store. Seriously. (If you can't live without maple pumpkin butter, as it was in the magazine, stir in a couple spoonfuls of syrup.)
Spiced nuts are also super easy to make. Go here or here or here or here. Make them ahead.
So, we're making everything ahead except for the turkey (which your darling husband is going to cook in lots and lots of hot oil on the patio, don't let the kids help), the stuffing, the green beans, and we're cooking the vegetables and warming up the rolls on the big day. If you can't find time in the 6 hours before dinner to get those few things done, maybe you should spend the $500...
It makes me angry that "they" (they being the people who sell internet food, or the people writing magazine articles, or the people who sell pre-made packaged "food" products) have got us convinced that cooking from scratch is SO hard that only someone who has been to The Culinary Institute can manage it. Baloney. Cooking, even on a holiday for a crowd, isn't anything more difficult than what you do as a parent every single day - it simply requires planning and preparation, list-making, and an ability to follow directions.
Make a grocery list from those recipes (sign up for AllRecipes and it'll do it for you - just hit "add to grocery list"). Make a to-do list for the week before T-day. Mine would look something like this:
SUNDAY - start to thaw turkey (because if it's even a tiny bit frozen, it will launch, and you will never get spousal help for Thanksgiving again...)
MONDAY - make pies, nuts, cranberry sauce
TUESDAY - make mashed potatoes, gravy
WEDNESDAY - prep carrots and parsnips (I call them neeps, because it's cuter), thaw rolls (if necessary, read the package)
THURSDAY -
11 am - start turkey
12 pm - start root veggies, make green beans, cook rolls, make stuffing, warm up everything else
1 pm - eat
FRIDAY - eat
SATURDAY - start to get sick of turkey, eat it anyway
SUNDAY - throw it all out. I've had turkey based food poisoning before, and it isn't pretty. If you're really nice, I'll share my mom's turkey pie recipe the week before Thanksgiving.
Seriously, if you spend more than $150 on all of the above, including the turkey and a couple nice bottles of wine, I will be shocked. Shocked! Spend the other $350 - $400 on Christmas presents for your kids.
And for heaven's sake, get your kids involved and let them help. The last thing we want to do is raise a generation of kids who think that a turkey dinner looks like this:
JUST COOK THE TURKEY
Um, ok, but that's a pretty darn boring meal, right?
Not if you're willing to go broke on the internet! Apparently you can get everything else delivered for your feast - if you're willing to pay...
- Maple pumpkin butter - $8 for 12 oz
- Oyster and artichoke pies - $19 for 18 bite sized pies
- Jellied cranberry sauce - $5 for 8 oz
- Walnut herb biscuits - $9 for SIX BISCUITS (my head just exploded)
- Potato & turnip au gratin - $50 for 3 pounds (six servings)
- French green beans - $17 for 24 ounces (HAHAHA)
- 7 little pies sampler - $65 for four 5 inch pies
- Rustica fruit tart - $40 for 8 4-inch tarts
- Cream of squash soup - $9 for 16 oz - or two servings
- Whole cranberry sauce - $7 for 17 oz
- Chocolate pecan pie - $15 for a 9 inch pie (probably 6 or 8 servings)
- Pecan brittle - $20 a POUND
- Apple & sage stuffing - $15 for 10 oz, or 4 servings (they've obviously never met my family - 10 oz is ONE serving!!)
- Rum pumpkin tart - $40 for a 9 inch pie (6 - 8 servings)
- Root vegetable gratin (see below) $9 for one pound (2 servings)
- Honey pecan bars - $31 for two pounds!!!!
GET REAL!
Fear not. I am here. I could feed every single reader of this blog, plus have extra to send home with everyone for leftovers for $500. Here is your real-world Thanksgiving menu:
Turkey
Mashed potatoes
Gravy
Real Cranberry Sauce
Stuffing (none of this fancy apple and sage crap, either... Let's keep it real, huh?)
Root vegetable gratin (I can kick it all Martha, you just watch me!)
French green beans
Yeast rolls (here we will cheat - keep reading)
Pumpkin pie (it's so easy...)
Spiced nuts
Pumpkin butter (now I'm just getting crazy!)
Step 1: Skip the soup. Who is going to eat soup when there's turkey and stuffing to be had? Don't waste your time or your money. You also do not need 40 pies. I promise.
Step 2: Ask your guests to bring something. One year I had Susan and Jill do dessert (and they went NUTS with pies and fabulous sugary goodness). My mom makes the best stuffing on the planet. There's no reason why one person should do all the work (but you totally can, keep reading). (Please note - asking guests to pitch in works a LOT better when you tell them what to bring. Have your mother in law pick up the rolls and the can of cranberry goo. Have your sister bring the stuffing. Don't just say, "Oh, bring anything," or you'll end up with 40 pies. You don't need 40 pies).
Step 3: Talk your husband into deep frying the turkey. It helps if he's a rocket scientist. But having the turkey in the deep fryer out on the patio will free up your oven for the really important stuff(ing).
Step 4: Start shopping now. If frozen bags of whole or french green beans go on sale, snap them up (intended). I see family sized bags of veggies for $1 at my Kroger all the time. Get two. Add butter, slivered blanched almonds, and a slice of bacon (crumbled), and you've got yourself a fancy-pants side dish that's way tastier and healthier than green bean casserole (with apologies to aunts and grandmas). Get a pie pumpkin - they always disappear by T-day around here, and you can't use the jack-o-lantern kind for baking. Buy frozen yeast rolls (I like Rhodes, and Palmer House) and get lots because those puppies are good. Get a jar of pumpkin butter. Buy a bag of cranberries. Get a frozen pie crust or two. All of these things will keep.
Step 5: Get my mom's recipe for stuffing. When she insists that she doesn't know how she makes it because she doesn't measure things, pin her down and insist that she guesstimate and leave the recipe in the comments.
Step 6: Two weeks before T-day, go to AllRecipes and figure out what you want to make. I've made a ton of their recipes, and they always turn out great (I always choose 4 or 5 star recipes). One year I made cranberry and blueberry sauce from scratch, and it was awesome. It made that canned crap taste like... canned crap. (But you'll want to buy a can of that canned crap because there are some godless heathens who insist on eating it, even when you've slaved over your homemade awesome cranberry sauce. Pfft...)
Oh hell, the kids are watching Aladdin and this is a full service blog, I will do it for you.
Fried turkey (ignore the picture and the cajun rub - just use the instructions)
Mashed potatoes (they're so easy from scratch - skip the boxed stuff, it's a holiday. You can make these 2 days ahead! I put mine in the crock pot on "warm" for the big day.)
Gravy (if you don't know how to make gravy, start practicing now. I'm so Martha, I even have turkey stock in my freezer and ready to go because you don't get any drippings when you deep fry a turkey. That is called planning ahead. You can too, all you have to do is get one of those turkey breasts, make it for dinner this week, then boil the crap out of the carcas with some carrots, onion, and celery, strain it, and put it in the freezer. Then just thicken it with some cornstarch mixed with water and add a little kitchen bouquet on the big day... I don't strain the fat out of my broth, so I don't need drippings later. Or use the recipe I linked to, which doesn't require a turkey AND you can make ahead).
Cranberry Sauce (either make the blue cranberry sauce I linked to above, or try a variant.
Orange would be nice... It's easy. You clean the berries, boil them with some sugar until half of them pop, and poof - cranberry sauce. It's almost as easy as opening the can... and it tastes BETTER if you make it ahead).
Stuffing - we'll wait on my mom for this one, but it's basically bread, onion, celery, seasonings, egg, and broth... NOT rocket science. Unless you stuff the turkey and try to deep fry it, in which case it may actually launch...
Root vegetable gratin - ok, seriously, it is criminal that someone is charging $4.50 a serving for this, because it is too easy. On Wednesday night before T-day, peel carrots and parsnips (don't be scared, they're good), and then quarter them and cut them into 3 or 4 inch sticks. You don't need to be precise. Put them in a ziplock bag in the crisper. About 35 minutes before you want to eat, put them in a 425 degree oven with a healthy drizzle of olive oil, salt, and pepper. Mix it around once or twice while it's cooking. Poof - I just saved you $40. If you want to really go nuts, add diced fennel, cubed squash (acorn, etc. - hard ones, not zucchini or yellow summer squash), radishes (no kidding, they get really sweet and nice), sweet potato... It'll knock your socks off, and it's healthy, and it makes a ton. It smells great, and looks beautiful in a big, pretty bowl.
French green beans - frozen green beans, slivered blanched almonds, crispy bacon (not Bacon Bitz, for the love of God. Science still hasn't figured out what those are made of)... Boil the beans according to package directions, toss with a healthy helping of butter, the almonds and bacon. Seriously, why would you pay $17 for 24 ounces of this when you could make 24 ounces at home for a couple bucks, and still have bacon leftover for tomorrow's breakfast???
Some things are worth buying. Yeast rolls are one. Unless you're particulary skilled with yeast (which I am not) just buy a few packages of the Rhodes rolls. I promise not to tell. I like the soft ones that come in a round pan, but the ones that you do on a cookie sheet are nice, too. They have a harder crust. You could probably buy enough rolls to feed the whole neighborhood for $18 (which is what you'd spend online to be able to feed 8 people).
Pumpkin pie - Ree at The Pioneer Woman Cooks has a photo tutorial on how to make your own pumpkin puree - it is so easy. And yes, you can make it ahead. Then all you have to do is plug it into a pumpkin pie recipe - like this one or this one or this one - and you're good to go. I'm crust impaired, so I buy ready-to-use crusts. You can make one, too. Make your pie a day ahead. It's ok.
If you have some extra pumpkin puree lying around, add some yogurt, powdered sugar, and spices and make your own pumpkin butter (for like $1, versus the $8 jar that Cookie Magazine would have us buy). Or you can probably find a jar of it at your local farmer's market (which is where I get mine) or even near the jellies in the grocery store. It is not such an exotic thing that you need to have it shipped in from some internet store. Seriously. (If you can't live without maple pumpkin butter, as it was in the magazine, stir in a couple spoonfuls of syrup.)
Spiced nuts are also super easy to make. Go here or here or here or here. Make them ahead.
So, we're making everything ahead except for the turkey (which your darling husband is going to cook in lots and lots of hot oil on the patio, don't let the kids help), the stuffing, the green beans, and we're cooking the vegetables and warming up the rolls on the big day. If you can't find time in the 6 hours before dinner to get those few things done, maybe you should spend the $500...
It makes me angry that "they" (they being the people who sell internet food, or the people writing magazine articles, or the people who sell pre-made packaged "food" products) have got us convinced that cooking from scratch is SO hard that only someone who has been to The Culinary Institute can manage it. Baloney. Cooking, even on a holiday for a crowd, isn't anything more difficult than what you do as a parent every single day - it simply requires planning and preparation, list-making, and an ability to follow directions.
Make a grocery list from those recipes (sign up for AllRecipes and it'll do it for you - just hit "add to grocery list"). Make a to-do list for the week before T-day. Mine would look something like this:
SUNDAY - start to thaw turkey (because if it's even a tiny bit frozen, it will launch, and you will never get spousal help for Thanksgiving again...)
MONDAY - make pies, nuts, cranberry sauce
TUESDAY - make mashed potatoes, gravy
WEDNESDAY - prep carrots and parsnips (I call them neeps, because it's cuter), thaw rolls (if necessary, read the package)
THURSDAY -
11 am - start turkey
12 pm - start root veggies, make green beans, cook rolls, make stuffing, warm up everything else
1 pm - eat
FRIDAY - eat
SATURDAY - start to get sick of turkey, eat it anyway
SUNDAY - throw it all out. I've had turkey based food poisoning before, and it isn't pretty. If you're really nice, I'll share my mom's turkey pie recipe the week before Thanksgiving.
Seriously, if you spend more than $150 on all of the above, including the turkey and a couple nice bottles of wine, I will be shocked. Shocked! Spend the other $350 - $400 on Christmas presents for your kids.
And for heaven's sake, get your kids involved and let them help. The last thing we want to do is raise a generation of kids who think that a turkey dinner looks like this:
Book Review: The Green Collar Economy
Elisa at MotherTalkers sent me a PDF copy of a new book called The Green Collar Economy by Van Jones to review and tell you about. Because Elisa occasionally kicks me the phat traffic, I try to do what she says.
Unfortunately, there was a small matter of a huge wedding that interfered with my reviewing this book in what could be called a "timely manner," and without one iota of help from me, this book has already hit the New York Times Bestseller list (as I write this, it's #31). Since I'm not one to turn down a free read, though, even if it does mean sitting in front of my computer for hours and hours, I am going to go ahead and tell you all about it, beloved readers...
I was only a few pages into this book when the following paragraph leaped off of the page and grabbed me by the throat:
But rather than spend 200+ pages berating us for our abuse of the planet, Van Jones presents a plan for saving our economy AND the planet. Through solar power, wind turbines, and turbines in the sea, and by tapping into the heat below the earth's surface, Jones suggests that we can create green jobs (that are not ever going to be farmed out to Mexico or China), revitalize the economy, and start saving the planet.
Jones suggests that the government needs to launch an initiative similar to the Manhattan Project to jumpstart research and investment into green, renewable energy production. He explains why ethanol and nuclear energy are false solutions, in clear concise language.
I think the best news in this book is that these new "green collar" jobs will be filled by people who used to have "blue collar" jobs in the 20th century. The skill sets for repairing a gas engine and an electric engine are relatively the same. The folks who worked at factories (now closed) making steel and cars and trucks can be retrained to make solar panels and windmills and turbines to put in the seas. We can take the "fundamentals of our economy," as McCain put it, and put them back to work improving the environment - and if those guys and girls are back at work, our economy will rebound. Everyone wins.
Ok, I'll admit, I've only had time to read the first chapter... but it's a good book already, with good ideas that deserve serious consideration. Let me know what you think in the comments!
Unfortunately, there was a small matter of a huge wedding that interfered with my reviewing this book in what could be called a "timely manner," and without one iota of help from me, this book has already hit the New York Times Bestseller list (as I write this, it's #31). Since I'm not one to turn down a free read, though, even if it does mean sitting in front of my computer for hours and hours, I am going to go ahead and tell you all about it, beloved readers...
I was only a few pages into this book when the following paragraph leaped off of the page and grabbed me by the throat:
Right now, we are still scurrying about on our planet's surface, eking out of living as part of a vulture society - living off the dead. Out of the Earth we suck the liquefied remains of dead organisms. We burn our ancestors' remains in our engines, without ceremony. Then we go back to the Earth, like vampires, to suck out even more oil. Our coal-fired power plants munch daily on the black bones of the ancients-and belch out death. Today, the climate itself threatens to bring everything full circle: if we keep pulling death from the ground, we will reap death from the skies.Woah.
But rather than spend 200+ pages berating us for our abuse of the planet, Van Jones presents a plan for saving our economy AND the planet. Through solar power, wind turbines, and turbines in the sea, and by tapping into the heat below the earth's surface, Jones suggests that we can create green jobs (that are not ever going to be farmed out to Mexico or China), revitalize the economy, and start saving the planet.
Jones suggests that the government needs to launch an initiative similar to the Manhattan Project to jumpstart research and investment into green, renewable energy production. He explains why ethanol and nuclear energy are false solutions, in clear concise language.
I think the best news in this book is that these new "green collar" jobs will be filled by people who used to have "blue collar" jobs in the 20th century. The skill sets for repairing a gas engine and an electric engine are relatively the same. The folks who worked at factories (now closed) making steel and cars and trucks can be retrained to make solar panels and windmills and turbines to put in the seas. We can take the "fundamentals of our economy," as McCain put it, and put them back to work improving the environment - and if those guys and girls are back at work, our economy will rebound. Everyone wins.
Ok, I'll admit, I've only had time to read the first chapter... but it's a good book already, with good ideas that deserve serious consideration. Let me know what you think in the comments!
Zoloft
Dr. Google is not my friend. One time when I was a kid and I got a hold of the Merck Manual, I decided I had prostate cancer. I don't think I'm a hypochondriac, necessarily, but if I start reading about withdrawl symptoms I should be having, you can bet your bippy that I'll have 'em all by suppertime. I'm highly suggestible.
Let's all try not to use that against me, mmmkay?
I'm having mild tremors. Not to the point that I can't drive or anything, but it's a little annoying. And last night my hands were freezing, but that just made all my new friends at LBC think that I had a warm heart.
Here's the thing about being on Zoloft for the better part of the last 3 years - I don't like me. I am not as creative, or as much fun. I feel very beige. It's not cool.
B.J. has said that he doesn't like it when I'm on anti-depressants. I mean, who wants a beige wife?
And I really want to be off all this sh*t before I get knocked up again. Claire's fine, of course, but looking back, I'm not sure that staying on meds for the first 2/3 of my pregnancy was the best decision. Of course, I'd just gotten ON them when I got pregnant with her, so maybe it was better that I stayed on them and got sane... Hard to say. But I went off of it (cold turkey, I'm hardcore) at the beginning of my 3rd trimester with Claire, and I went back on them immediately after giving birth. I was afraid of going down the road I went down with MG. Too scary. I took the easy, pharmaceutical way around that.
So here I am, I've been on Z for 19 months solid, and we're talking about another baby, and I really think I can handle going off them now. I don't think I can really say that I still have PPD if the baby I got it with is 3, you know?
According to About.com
I'm going to call Dr. M and get an appointment for early next week. I have some other crap to talk to him about anyway, so I'm going to just slide in there, "Oh by the way, I'm a dumbass and I quit my meds without talking to you about it. What now?"
I'm going to try to stay off of them, but maybe he'll put me on a low dose (I was on 100mg) to counteract some of the cold pricklies I'm feeling here.
I'm going to realize that I'm not myself right now, and try not to do or say anything stupid or damaging while I'm in this place.
I'm going to play more music at home, because I know it helps me. Not freaking Nosrus Tap, either. My music. The kids are just going to have to cope.
I'm going to take more fiber and this Power 4 juice supplement that I found - it's made of Acai, Goji, Noni, and Mangosteen juice (and tastes like death warmed over). According to the label, it promotes:
And the fiber is kind of a no-brainer. It gets into your system and expands, and makes you feel full. How have I gone 32 years, at least 20 of which I've wanted to lose weight, without figuring this out?! So I'm taking 1 oz of the juice blend and 2 fiber pills before each meal. We'll see how that goes. I'm also going to eat healthier, of course, but I find that very boring to read about and very depressing to actually do, so some early Halloween candy might sneak in there, and we might just have to gloss over it and move on.
I'm going to use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on myself (which I've used before, and I'm good at it and it works really well for me).
I'm going to lean heavily on all of you.
Try not to piss me off. Hahhaa...
Let's all try not to use that against me, mmmkay?
I'm having mild tremors. Not to the point that I can't drive or anything, but it's a little annoying. And last night my hands were freezing, but that just made all my new friends at LBC think that I had a warm heart.
Here's the thing about being on Zoloft for the better part of the last 3 years - I don't like me. I am not as creative, or as much fun. I feel very beige. It's not cool.
B.J. has said that he doesn't like it when I'm on anti-depressants. I mean, who wants a beige wife?
And I really want to be off all this sh*t before I get knocked up again. Claire's fine, of course, but looking back, I'm not sure that staying on meds for the first 2/3 of my pregnancy was the best decision. Of course, I'd just gotten ON them when I got pregnant with her, so maybe it was better that I stayed on them and got sane... Hard to say. But I went off of it (cold turkey, I'm hardcore) at the beginning of my 3rd trimester with Claire, and I went back on them immediately after giving birth. I was afraid of going down the road I went down with MG. Too scary. I took the easy, pharmaceutical way around that.
So here I am, I've been on Z for 19 months solid, and we're talking about another baby, and I really think I can handle going off them now. I don't think I can really say that I still have PPD if the baby I got it with is 3, you know?
According to About.com
Zoloft has a half-life of about one day. That means that for every day that passes without taking the medication the level in the blood falls by 50%. After one day the level is reduced to 50% of the original level, after two days to 25%, after three days to 12.5%, and so on.The last day I remember taking it was 10/9. So, according to that, it's all but out of my system now, right? So it seems like I'd just be asking for trouble if I started taking 100mg today (instead of tapering up the way I should've tapered down). Here's the plan:
I'm going to call Dr. M and get an appointment for early next week. I have some other crap to talk to him about anyway, so I'm going to just slide in there, "Oh by the way, I'm a dumbass and I quit my meds without talking to you about it. What now?"
I'm going to try to stay off of them, but maybe he'll put me on a low dose (I was on 100mg) to counteract some of the cold pricklies I'm feeling here.
I'm going to realize that I'm not myself right now, and try not to do or say anything stupid or damaging while I'm in this place.
I'm going to play more music at home, because I know it helps me. Not freaking Nosrus Tap, either. My music. The kids are just going to have to cope.
I'm going to take more fiber and this Power 4 juice supplement that I found - it's made of Acai, Goji, Noni, and Mangosteen juice (and tastes like death warmed over). According to the label, it promotes:
- healthy immune system function
- healthy inflammatory processes
- healthy energy levels & resistance to fatigue
- healthy aging
- healthy libido (woo hoo!)
- healthy blood sugar levels
- healthy mood
- healthy liver function
- healthy microbial balance
- healthy eyes
- healthy cardiovascular system
And the fiber is kind of a no-brainer. It gets into your system and expands, and makes you feel full. How have I gone 32 years, at least 20 of which I've wanted to lose weight, without figuring this out?! So I'm taking 1 oz of the juice blend and 2 fiber pills before each meal. We'll see how that goes. I'm also going to eat healthier, of course, but I find that very boring to read about and very depressing to actually do, so some early Halloween candy might sneak in there, and we might just have to gloss over it and move on.
I'm going to use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on myself (which I've used before, and I'm good at it and it works really well for me).
I'm going to lean heavily on all of you.
Try not to piss me off. Hahhaa...
Deep Thoughts
Do you ever feel like you're not the main character in your own story, or is it just me?
These are the things that I stay up late to think about when I've abruptly gone off of my Zoloft without being under my doctor's supervision*. Bad Amy! Bad! No cookie!!
One would think that after the half-dozen times (give or take) that I've done this to myself, I'd freakin' know better.
In other news, I went and saw this guy tonight:
with Karen and Tammy, on Barb's recommendation. Barb was right, I really liked his show. I'm not too sure that Karen and Tammy did, but Karen's pregnant and she got to eat deep fried pickles**, so it couldn't have been too bad.
This is a lot more representative of his style:
...and here's an extremely brief video of him singing (elsewhere) with a girl I know:
...and now that I look at it, I think that the same girl, Tinea, might've been there tonight singing "Satellite" with him... But although her voice sounded familiar, she was on the other side of the room so I didn't get a good look or a chance to see if it was here - Barbara Dahling, can you confirm or deny?
I need to keep doing stuff like this, stuff that reminds me of who I was and what I was like B.C.*** Because seriously, sometimes I feel like I'm losing myself.
Keep an eye on me, ok?
* See, I went up to Grammaland the weekend before the wedding, and I forgot my prescription, so I didn't take it Saturday, then totally forgot to take it Sunday and Monday, and by then I was like, "Well, I'm fine, who needs it?" and I rode the wedding wave up through Monday of this week, but now things are starting to slow back down to a normal pace, and I think I'm off my nut again. Damnit. So, do I ride it out and figure that I'll be better in a couple weeks (this too shall pass?) or do I go back on it so I don't get worse?
**You heard me.
***Before Children.
These are the things that I stay up late to think about when I've abruptly gone off of my Zoloft without being under my doctor's supervision*. Bad Amy! Bad! No cookie!!
One would think that after the half-dozen times (give or take) that I've done this to myself, I'd freakin' know better.
In other news, I went and saw this guy tonight:
with Karen and Tammy, on Barb's recommendation. Barb was right, I really liked his show. I'm not too sure that Karen and Tammy did, but Karen's pregnant and she got to eat deep fried pickles**, so it couldn't have been too bad.
This is a lot more representative of his style:
...and here's an extremely brief video of him singing (elsewhere) with a girl I know:
...and now that I look at it, I think that the same girl, Tinea, might've been there tonight singing "Satellite" with him... But although her voice sounded familiar, she was on the other side of the room so I didn't get a good look or a chance to see if it was here - Barbara Dahling, can you confirm or deny?
I need to keep doing stuff like this, stuff that reminds me of who I was and what I was like B.C.*** Because seriously, sometimes I feel like I'm losing myself.
Keep an eye on me, ok?
* See, I went up to Grammaland the weekend before the wedding, and I forgot my prescription, so I didn't take it Saturday, then totally forgot to take it Sunday and Monday, and by then I was like, "Well, I'm fine, who needs it?" and I rode the wedding wave up through Monday of this week, but now things are starting to slow back down to a normal pace, and I think I'm off my nut again. Damnit. So, do I ride it out and figure that I'll be better in a couple weeks (this too shall pass?) or do I go back on it so I don't get worse?
**You heard me.
***Before Children.
Friday, October 24, 2008
THE PICTURES ARE UP!
www.edcollierphotography.com
I lied. Just go here... - the password is their last name and the date of the wedding, 101808 - but in the last name Ed reversed the e and the i - so it's weis**** instead of wies**** like it should be...
I'm going to go sob now...
(Let me know if you have any trouble...)
I lied. Just go here... - the password is their last name and the date of the wedding, 101808 - but in the last name Ed reversed the e and the i - so it's weis**** instead of wies**** like it should be...
I'm going to go sob now...
(Let me know if you have any trouble...)
Kids and Scary Things
With Halloween approaching, Mary Grace has been obsessed with all things Spooooky and Scarrrry. She only wants to read Halloween themed books, she shrieks when we drive down the street and see the neighbor's decorations, and she shivers and asks me about ghosts and monsters.
Until recently, I had her convinced that the ghosts in her books were just "spooky clouds." Then we started reading Scooby Doo books...
I got to thinking about kids, stories, and fears... The original, non-Disneyified fairy tales were pretty gruesome. Cinderella's step-sisters cut off chunks of their feet to try to fit into the glass slipper, for example. The Little Mermaid's prince married some other broad, and instead of killing him with the magic knife (which would've made her a mermaid again), she killed herself. Don't even get me started about the original Little Red Riding Hood - yeek!
Up until quite recently (my guess is the 1950s, but it could've really been as late as the 70s or 80s), kids' stories have had at least a little bit of darkness in them. Even cradle songs were pretty bleak... "when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all!" (I understood that one a lot better once I had spent a few nights up with a crying baby...)
But now we live in a world where we're supposed to protect our "precious snowflakes" from every danger, fear, disappointment, and heartbreak. They have to wear helmets, pads, and long pants whenever they get on a bike. Their stories are watered down so that even the bad characters are sympathetic, and the good characters don't really have much to overcome (I'm thinking of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, where the worst "bad guy" is a cat who over-charges Mickey for fishing in the ponds, or won't sell Goofy a hat that fits). If one kid is invited to the birthday party, many schools have made it a policy that the entire class must be invited (I'll save my rant about the schools dictating what my family must and musn't do during private family time for when my kids are actually in school).
But here's the thing: Childhood is not supposed to be an idyllic time of unending happiness and perfection. It's supposed to be a time of preparation - preparing to be adults. Kids start learning, pretty much from birth, how to deal with adversity - how to deal with disappointment, fear, danger, and heartbreak. If they don't ever learn these lessons, you end up with a bunch of broken overgrown babies running around, who don't know how to deal with anything.
I really think that children's stories, historically, have been designed to say, "Hey, look at Cinderella, her mom died and she acquired a wicked step-mother, and she overcame it and went on to live happily ever after, and so can you!"
What are kids' biggest fears? Monsters - Rumplestiltskin, Jack and the Beanstalk, Beauty and the Beast. The woods/scary animals - Three Little Pigs, Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood. Being lost - Hansel and Gretyl. Lack of freedom - Rapunzel. Losing a parent - just about every kids' story since the dawn of time. Each of these stories has other messages, depending on how you want to analyze them, but they all have one common, overarching message - you can overcome adversity, just like these heroes have overcome their struggles. You can succeed in spite of the bad things that are inevitably going to happen in your life.
But when we take out all the scary stuff, when we make them G rated and don't let kids learn from these timeless stories, could we be stunting them, emotionally? Could we be failing in our primary duty as parents, to teach them how to cope? I think maybe so.
I'm not saying that my kids are ready to watch Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th. I still haven't sat through all of The Exorcist, and I'm 32. But I think it's valuable and healthy to let our kids be afraid (because, face it, they're going to be afraid anyway, no matter how we try to shield them), and to give them models for how to handle themselves in the face of those fears.
BJ did the most brilliant thing a couple of weeks ago. Mary Grace had been watching the "Yoda" video on Youtube, and she decided that "Yoda" was in her room scaring her at night, and used this as an excuse to come into the safety of our bed. Her smart Daddy showed her the part of one of the newer Star Wars movies where Yoda is teaching the young children how to be Jedis. Poof - end of the Yoda fear.
Of course, she isn't ready to watch the entire Star Wars series (mainly because I don't want to have to sit through them!! We'll save that for next time Mommy's out of town!), but showing her this little part where the scary looking guy was being nice to people like herself was just what she needed. What did she learn? She learned that sometimes people look different, but that doesn't mean they're bad. She learned that something can be scary in appearance and still be good. Good stuff. (He's such an awesome dad!) Most of all, she learned that if she's afraid of something, and she works hard to understand it, suddenly it isn't as scary as she thought. (I've tried to take this same approach to the economic crisis, but unfortunately the more I learn, the scarier it gets. Where are all the fairy tales about macroeconomics? Maybe I need to re-read Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves? Robin Hood? Help me out here...)
I guess what I'm getting at is that we need to stop trying to protect our kids from every damn thing, and give them small, measured, appropriate doses of scariness. How else are they going to learn to be brave, so that when something really scary happens, they know that they can cope? It's worth a couple of sleepless nights to have a little girl who isn't afraid of
people who don't look like everyone else, don't you think?
And hopefully, when real adversity comes to her little life (and it will, it must, that's how life is - people get hurt, people die, scary things happen every day) she'll have a framework within which to process it. She'll believe in herself, because she believes in these characters who have taught her how to rise above it. After all, she is a princess.
Until recently, I had her convinced that the ghosts in her books were just "spooky clouds." Then we started reading Scooby Doo books...
I got to thinking about kids, stories, and fears... The original, non-Disneyified fairy tales were pretty gruesome. Cinderella's step-sisters cut off chunks of their feet to try to fit into the glass slipper, for example. The Little Mermaid's prince married some other broad, and instead of killing him with the magic knife (which would've made her a mermaid again), she killed herself. Don't even get me started about the original Little Red Riding Hood - yeek!
Up until quite recently (my guess is the 1950s, but it could've really been as late as the 70s or 80s), kids' stories have had at least a little bit of darkness in them. Even cradle songs were pretty bleak... "when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all!" (I understood that one a lot better once I had spent a few nights up with a crying baby...)
But now we live in a world where we're supposed to protect our "precious snowflakes" from every danger, fear, disappointment, and heartbreak. They have to wear helmets, pads, and long pants whenever they get on a bike. Their stories are watered down so that even the bad characters are sympathetic, and the good characters don't really have much to overcome (I'm thinking of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, where the worst "bad guy" is a cat who over-charges Mickey for fishing in the ponds, or won't sell Goofy a hat that fits). If one kid is invited to the birthday party, many schools have made it a policy that the entire class must be invited (I'll save my rant about the schools dictating what my family must and musn't do during private family time for when my kids are actually in school).
But here's the thing: Childhood is not supposed to be an idyllic time of unending happiness and perfection. It's supposed to be a time of preparation - preparing to be adults. Kids start learning, pretty much from birth, how to deal with adversity - how to deal with disappointment, fear, danger, and heartbreak. If they don't ever learn these lessons, you end up with a bunch of broken overgrown babies running around, who don't know how to deal with anything.
I really think that children's stories, historically, have been designed to say, "Hey, look at Cinderella, her mom died and she acquired a wicked step-mother, and she overcame it and went on to live happily ever after, and so can you!"
What are kids' biggest fears? Monsters - Rumplestiltskin, Jack and the Beanstalk, Beauty and the Beast. The woods/scary animals - Three Little Pigs, Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood. Being lost - Hansel and Gretyl. Lack of freedom - Rapunzel. Losing a parent - just about every kids' story since the dawn of time. Each of these stories has other messages, depending on how you want to analyze them, but they all have one common, overarching message - you can overcome adversity, just like these heroes have overcome their struggles. You can succeed in spite of the bad things that are inevitably going to happen in your life.
But when we take out all the scary stuff, when we make them G rated and don't let kids learn from these timeless stories, could we be stunting them, emotionally? Could we be failing in our primary duty as parents, to teach them how to cope? I think maybe so.
I'm not saying that my kids are ready to watch Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th. I still haven't sat through all of The Exorcist, and I'm 32. But I think it's valuable and healthy to let our kids be afraid (because, face it, they're going to be afraid anyway, no matter how we try to shield them), and to give them models for how to handle themselves in the face of those fears.
BJ did the most brilliant thing a couple of weeks ago. Mary Grace had been watching the "Yoda" video on Youtube, and she decided that "Yoda" was in her room scaring her at night, and used this as an excuse to come into the safety of our bed. Her smart Daddy showed her the part of one of the newer Star Wars movies where Yoda is teaching the young children how to be Jedis. Poof - end of the Yoda fear.
Of course, she isn't ready to watch the entire Star Wars series (mainly because I don't want to have to sit through them!! We'll save that for next time Mommy's out of town!), but showing her this little part where the scary looking guy was being nice to people like herself was just what she needed. What did she learn? She learned that sometimes people look different, but that doesn't mean they're bad. She learned that something can be scary in appearance and still be good. Good stuff. (He's such an awesome dad!) Most of all, she learned that if she's afraid of something, and she works hard to understand it, suddenly it isn't as scary as she thought. (I've tried to take this same approach to the economic crisis, but unfortunately the more I learn, the scarier it gets. Where are all the fairy tales about macroeconomics? Maybe I need to re-read Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves? Robin Hood? Help me out here...)
I guess what I'm getting at is that we need to stop trying to protect our kids from every damn thing, and give them small, measured, appropriate doses of scariness. How else are they going to learn to be brave, so that when something really scary happens, they know that they can cope? It's worth a couple of sleepless nights to have a little girl who isn't afraid of
people who don't look like everyone else, don't you think?Kate
Everyone is out of school for no apparent reason, today, (unless there's a holiday I forgot, in which case, "Happy Day!" and I forgot to get you a gift...) and so after Claire's gymnastics class (yes, Claire is in the Mommy & Me class, now, once a week) we asked Kate's mom, who owns the gym, if Kate could come over and play for a while.
"Wow, your home is really messy!" Kate said after being here for about 5 minutes.
"This is a really messy home!" I just heard her say again.
Too funny. I find myself explaining to a 5 year old that we've had a really busy couple of weeks, and yes, things have gotten a wee bit out of hand, but it isn't always quite this messy... And then I remember, she's 5. It's probably a compliment.
"Wow, your home is really messy!" Kate said after being here for about 5 minutes.
"This is a really messy home!" I just heard her say again.
Too funny. I find myself explaining to a 5 year old that we've had a really busy couple of weeks, and yes, things have gotten a wee bit out of hand, but it isn't always quite this messy... And then I remember, she's 5. It's probably a compliment.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Playing in the Castle
MG: Goodbye, Claire... I mean, Handsome Prince!
Mommy: Is Claire your handsome prince?
MG: Yes, Mommy, she is. She really is.
Weirdo.
Mommy: Is Claire your handsome prince?
MG: Yes, Mommy, she is. She really is.
Weirdo.
The Narrative
There were so many beautiful moments during Megan and Trey's wedding weekend, I don't really even know where to begin. The girls and I drove up to Grammaland on Thursday afternoon, BJ and Max followed later that night.
When we arrived at Megan's house, everyone was so relaxed. There was an air of eager anticipation and excitement, but none of the stress that you might expect, considering the scale of things to come. Megan would occasionally say, randomly, "I can't believe that I'll be married in X hours," or "Two more days!!" but she was not stressed out. She had the calm grace of someone who knows she's making the best decision of her life. She and Trey are so much in love, and it rolls off of them in waves. They are radiant together. It warms everyone around them, to be in the presence of such a beautiful relationship.
Trey's dad and step-mom took Trey and Megan's dogs to their house. Tev came over to help me get my dress just right (strapless dresses can be dangerous!). We had a little food, talked a lot, laughed a lot, drank a lot of wine... It was a fun evening. My mom arrived later, and we hung out with her, my step-dad, and their friends John and Barbara.
Eventually the girls were asleep on their feet, so I took them to my mother-in-laws, where we were staying, to meet BJ and get some rest. Claire got a weird second wind and was up late, but she was cute and funny so we just went with it. If she had been cranky, I might have worried, but she was just so excited. I think she could feel all of the energy around her, even though she probably didn't have a clue why everyone was so jazzed.
Friday came, and I went to Kohl's for a strapless bra. The universe smiled upon me, and I was able to find a reasonably comfortable one in my size (miracle!!). Then I met the girls in the bridal party and Megan to get manis and pedis, while the boys and some of the parents went golfing. My wonderful mother-in-law took the kids, so that BJ and I could enjoy the activities. It was wonderful to not have to worry about them being bored.
After manis and pedis, we ran a few errands (dropping off the hospitality baskets at the hotels, mainly), while Megan and my dad visited the golfers. Then we went to lunch at Applebee's (where they gave us free dessert shooters when they found out Megan was getting married! Yay Applebee's!)
I returned to Diana's house to get the kids dressed for the rehearsal dinner. BJ was still at the golf outing
, so he met us at the chapel. The girlies were not at all thrilled at being awakened from their naps, but by the time we got to the chapel, they'd chilled out. Of course, it helped that many of their favorite people were there. Claire beelined straight for Grandpa Bob.
We rehearsed a couple of times, and then proceeded to the chapel's basement for the dinner. The nice thing about it being a chapel that is strictly for weddings, rather than Consecrated Religious Ground, is that we could have beer and wine! Mom's chefs made a ton of tapas (Spanish appetizers, which, if you haven't had before, you need to run right out and try right now, particularly at Don Quixote if you're in Grammaland, and tell Carlos we said "hi"!). Megan and Trey gave out the prizes for the golf outing (longest drive, best putt, winning team overall, etc.) and gave out the gifts for the wedding party. The guys got Cubs shirts and engraved pocket knives, we girls got our jewelry for the wedding, a really cool bag with a W (of course) and the date of the wedding and lots of pockets, and a note saying that we were getting our makeup done professionally for the big day. Ironic, because I've spent the last year trying different products and perfecting my make up skills for this wedding. Oh well. It came in handy at Amanda's wedding last December!
It was nice to have a chance to visit with friends and family before the Big Day. Mary Grace was so cute - the servers were plating dessert, and MG played waitress. Of course, that meant that you got dessert whether you wanted it or not, occasionally with tiny fingerprints, but she did the best she could.
After the dinner we returned to Diana's for a good night's sleep. Before we knew it, it was Saturday! I got up early and headed to Mom's for one last dress adjustment - wonder of wonders, it fit! Of course, that didn't mean that Connie didn't have to sneak up behind me and hike me up every 45 minutes or so, but I didn't expose myself to anyone, and that's really the goal when you go strapless. We had a nice lunch while Maria did our make up, then we headed to the salon to get our hair done.
And then my camera died.
But that's ok, because there were plenty of other cameras, and it really would've been beyond tacky for me to stand up at the front of the church shooting pictures. With our hair completely sprayed and pinned and immobile, we headed to the chapel to get dressed and do some pictures.
Here's my favorite:
That's me, my beautiful sister, Megan, and my awesome brother Chuck. We clean up well, don't we? Far cry from my usual jeans and a t-shirt look.
We had the opportunity to walk around and look at the beautiful decorations that were literally everywhere. I have never seen Mom's ballroom look so elegant. I mean, it's normally beautiful, but this was beyond amazing. There were flowers and candles everywhere. Over 4000 red roses. It was stunning; jaw-droppingly beautiful.
But it paled in comparison to the bride. I know I'm biased. I know she's my baby sister, but seriously... Never in the history of weddings has there been a more beautiful bride. Just look at her:
I can hardly look at her without tears coming to my eyes. She was radiant. Absolutely stunning. I was managing the girls when she walked in, so I didn't get to do my favorite thing, which is watch the groom's face when she entered the chapel. I can't wait for the pictures and the video. I hope someone got a good shot of Trey.
For those of you who haven't met my sister, I have to tell you that her insides are every bit as beautiful as her outside. She is the kindest, gentlest, most fun, most lovely person... Trey is a lucky, lucky guy. We're all lucky to know her.
Anyway, back to the narrative... So before we knew it, it was time for the main event. BJ showed up with the girls, freshly napped and bathed, around 4:15 and I got them dressed as quickly as I could. The wedding started at 5 pm.
We managed to get through the ceremony without any ugly crying, without messing up the stepping-up-for-the-photo-op part, and without messing up the candle thing (you'll just have to
wait for the video to see what I mean). The girls did exactly what they were supposed to do, without any crying, running, nose picking, or sticking of hands down my dress. Uncle Doug performed the ceremony, and he did a great job. Trey was a bit nervous, and he dropped the ring, but I hear that's good luck.
They used some words that I helped write during the ceremony, which meant a ton to me. My aunt Julie read a poem. Trey's aunt read 1 Corinthians 13. "The greatest of these, is love..."
And they were married, and everyone cheered. We walked out of the chapel and the bridal party handed out balloons to all the guests, while Mr. and Mrs. Trey W. released their guests inside. Then, when the last guest had walked outside, the doors to the chapel were closed, Megan and Trey rang the bell, and they emerged to thunderous applause and released their balloons, and we released ours.
Then the newlyweds took a little ride on my uncle Stu's antique firetruck (which even matched the wedding colors, how coordinated are we?) to have their photos taken by the fountain, while the guests had hors d'oeuvres in the garden.
I need to get some pictures of the garden. It was lovely. The music and food were terrific. When Megan and Trey returned, we took a few formal posed pictures in the chapel, and then it was time to party!
We were introduced, then the bride and groom were introduced, and they cut the cake. After that, they were seated and the DJ gave the microphone to Paul, the best man, for his toast. Then it was my turn. I was so nervous, my knees were knocking, but I managed to spit it out without any ugly crying...
"A couple of years ago," I said, "Trey and Paul came to our house to help us work on our roof. After they left, my husband BJ said, 'Trey is such a great guy. If Megan doesn't marry him, someone in this family really needs to!' Trey, the good news is that you get to spend the rest of your life with Megan. The bad news is that you're stuck with the rest of us, and our leaky roofs.
"And that is pretty much all I've got! It's so hard to write a toast for (and here I started to choke up, and I felt the ugly cry coming on, and I had to deeply breathe through my nose to proceed) my baby sister. How can I express how much you mean to me, how much I love you both, and how happy I am for the two of you, in a short enough time that no one's drink gets warm? How can I choose just one embarrassing story to tell in front of everyone you know?
"No, I haven't had enough to drink to tell embarrassing stories... Yet. So I'll stick to my other specialty. Advice.
"When I was writing this, the thing I kept coming back to was the way you dance. If you've never seen Megan and Trey dance together, you are in for a treat. It occurred to me that if you can do in your marriage what you already do when you dance - if you can move together, smile, laugh, look into each others' eyes, and hold onto each other - then we'll all be back here in 50 years celebrating your love again.
"Congratulations. I love you both so much. And Trey, welcome to the family!" and as I finished speaking, I handed Trey a hammer that I'd had monogrammed with a "W". The W was kind of a running joke. His last name begins with W, and Megan and Mom kind of went crazy monogramming everything... Including the cake and the lawn! Think I'm kidding? Here:
So, the W thing was kind of a running joke.
It took me a good 15 minutes to stop shaking, and by then, the prayer had been said by my "bonus mom" Susan, and we were digging into the dinner (an amazing salad, filet, shrimp and scallops on a kabob, garlic mashed potatoes, asparagus...) Then Megan and Trey danced, and just as I had predicted, it was spectacular. Those kids really know how to cut a rug. Normally I don't like all the first dances (let's just party, already!) but it was really fun to watch people who not only know how to dance, but enjoy doing it.
After that, Carol started serving me cosmos, and things get a little blurry. I know there was a lot of dancing, laughing, dancing, drinking, and dancing. Mary Grace had an excellent time standing in front of the colored lights and watching the patterns they made on her dress. She didn't stop until midnight, believe it or not, when she finally passed out on the couch in the lobby. I got to see people I don't see often at all. I got to dance with my gorgeous husband. And before we knew it, my baby sister was riding off to her honeymoon with her new husband, and the night was over.
BJ took the kids back to his mom's, and I went to close a bar with the bridal party (too fun, but what happens at the bar stays at the bar!!). I didn't get back to his mom's house until 3:30, and even then, I was too jazzed to sleep. Megan and Trey will be back Sunday, and I'm going up with the girls on Monday to help open presents, look at pictures, and re-live it all over again with them. (And MG is going to spend a couple days with Grandma! YAY!)
I guess I should explain why I'm writing about all this in so much detail, because I know that my average reader scrolled through the pictures and then clicked "next." This is for the family members who couldn't be with us, and for me and my terrible memory so that I can re-read this in a year or ten when I've lost the details, and for Megan and Trey, so they can see what their special day looked like through someone else's eyes.
It was the most wonderful day, and I want to go back and live it over and over again. What are we going to do next? Mom? Megan?? We need a project!! I feel like I have post-wedding depression. I just can't believe it's all over.
When we arrived at Megan's house, everyone was so relaxed. There was an air of eager anticipation and excitement, but none of the stress that you might expect, considering the scale of things to come. Megan would occasionally say, randomly, "I can't believe that I'll be married in X hours," or "Two more days!!" but she was not stressed out. She had the calm grace of someone who knows she's making the best decision of her life. She and Trey are so much in love, and it rolls off of them in waves. They are radiant together. It warms everyone around them, to be in the presence of such a beautiful relationship.
Trey's dad and step-mom took Trey and Megan's dogs to their house. Tev came over to help me get my dress just right (strapless dresses can be dangerous!). We had a little food, talked a lot, laughed a lot, drank a lot of wine... It was a fun evening. My mom arrived later, and we hung out with her, my step-dad, and their friends John and Barbara.
Eventually the girls were asleep on their feet, so I took them to my mother-in-laws, where we were staying, to meet BJ and get some rest. Claire got a weird second wind and was up late, but she was cute and funny so we just went with it. If she had been cranky, I might have worried, but she was just so excited. I think she could feel all of the energy around her, even though she probably didn't have a clue why everyone was so jazzed.
Friday came, and I went to Kohl's for a strapless bra. The universe smiled upon me, and I was able to find a reasonably comfortable one in my size (miracle!!). Then I met the girls in the bridal party and Megan to get manis and pedis, while the boys and some of the parents went golfing. My wonderful mother-in-law took the kids, so that BJ and I could enjoy the activities. It was wonderful to not have to worry about them being bored.
After manis and pedis, we ran a few errands (dropping off the hospitality baskets at the hotels, mainly), while Megan and my dad visited the golfers. Then we went to lunch at Applebee's (where they gave us free dessert shooters when they found out Megan was getting married! Yay Applebee's!)
I returned to Diana's house to get the kids dressed for the rehearsal dinner. BJ was still at the golf outing
, so he met us at the chapel. The girlies were not at all thrilled at being awakened from their naps, but by the time we got to the chapel, they'd chilled out. Of course, it helped that many of their favorite people were there. Claire beelined straight for Grandpa Bob.
We rehearsed a couple of times, and then proceeded to the chapel's basement for the dinner. The nice thing about it being a chapel that is strictly for weddings, rather than Consecrated Religious Ground, is that we could have beer and wine! Mom's chefs made a ton of tapas (Spanish appetizers, which, if you haven't had before, you need to run right out and try right now, particularly at Don Quixote if you're in Grammaland, and tell Carlos we said "hi"!). Megan and Trey gave out the prizes for the golf outing (longest drive, best putt, winning team overall, etc.) and gave out the gifts for the wedding party. The guys got Cubs shirts and engraved pocket knives, we girls got our jewelry for the wedding, a really cool bag with a W (of course) and the date of the wedding and lots of pockets, and a note saying that we were getting our makeup done professionally for the big day. Ironic, because I've spent the last year trying different products and perfecting my make up skills for this wedding. Oh well. It came in handy at Amanda's wedding last December!It was nice to have a chance to visit with friends and family before the Big Day. Mary Grace was so cute - the servers were plating dessert, and MG played waitress. Of course, that meant that you got dessert whether you wanted it or not, occasionally with tiny fingerprints, but she did the best she could.
After the dinner we returned to Diana's for a good night's sleep. Before we knew it, it was Saturday! I got up early and headed to Mom's for one last dress adjustment - wonder of wonders, it fit! Of course, that didn't mean that Connie didn't have to sneak up behind me and hike me up every 45 minutes or so, but I didn't expose myself to anyone, and that's really the goal when you go strapless. We had a nice lunch while Maria did our make up, then we headed to the salon to get our hair done.
And then my camera died.
But that's ok, because there were plenty of other cameras, and it really would've been beyond tacky for me to stand up at the front of the church shooting pictures. With our hair completely sprayed and pinned and immobile, we headed to the chapel to get dressed and do some pictures.
Here's my favorite:
That's me, my beautiful sister, Megan, and my awesome brother Chuck. We clean up well, don't we? Far cry from my usual jeans and a t-shirt look.We had the opportunity to walk around and look at the beautiful decorations that were literally everywhere. I have never seen Mom's ballroom look so elegant. I mean, it's normally beautiful, but this was beyond amazing. There were flowers and candles everywhere. Over 4000 red roses. It was stunning; jaw-droppingly beautiful.
But it paled in comparison to the bride. I know I'm biased. I know she's my baby sister, but seriously... Never in the history of weddings has there been a more beautiful bride. Just look at her:
I can hardly look at her without tears coming to my eyes. She was radiant. Absolutely stunning. I was managing the girls when she walked in, so I didn't get to do my favorite thing, which is watch the groom's face when she entered the chapel. I can't wait for the pictures and the video. I hope someone got a good shot of Trey.For those of you who haven't met my sister, I have to tell you that her insides are every bit as beautiful as her outside. She is the kindest, gentlest, most fun, most lovely person... Trey is a lucky, lucky guy. We're all lucky to know her.
Anyway, back to the narrative... So before we knew it, it was time for the main event. BJ showed up with the girls, freshly napped and bathed, around 4:15 and I got them dressed as quickly as I could. The wedding started at 5 pm.
We managed to get through the ceremony without any ugly crying, without messing up the stepping-up-for-the-photo-op part, and without messing up the candle thing (you'll just have to
wait for the video to see what I mean). The girls did exactly what they were supposed to do, without any crying, running, nose picking, or sticking of hands down my dress. Uncle Doug performed the ceremony, and he did a great job. Trey was a bit nervous, and he dropped the ring, but I hear that's good luck.They used some words that I helped write during the ceremony, which meant a ton to me. My aunt Julie read a poem. Trey's aunt read 1 Corinthians 13. "The greatest of these, is love..."
And they were married, and everyone cheered. We walked out of the chapel and the bridal party handed out balloons to all the guests, while Mr. and Mrs. Trey W. released their guests inside. Then, when the last guest had walked outside, the doors to the chapel were closed, Megan and Trey rang the bell, and they emerged to thunderous applause and released their balloons, and we released ours.
Then the newlyweds took a little ride on my uncle Stu's antique firetruck (which even matched the wedding colors, how coordinated are we?) to have their photos taken by the fountain, while the guests had hors d'oeuvres in the garden.
I need to get some pictures of the garden. It was lovely. The music and food were terrific. When Megan and Trey returned, we took a few formal posed pictures in the chapel, and then it was time to party!
We were introduced, then the bride and groom were introduced, and they cut the cake. After that, they were seated and the DJ gave the microphone to Paul, the best man, for his toast. Then it was my turn. I was so nervous, my knees were knocking, but I managed to spit it out without any ugly crying...
"A couple of years ago," I said, "Trey and Paul came to our house to help us work on our roof. After they left, my husband BJ said, 'Trey is such a great guy. If Megan doesn't marry him, someone in this family really needs to!' Trey, the good news is that you get to spend the rest of your life with Megan. The bad news is that you're stuck with the rest of us, and our leaky roofs.
"And that is pretty much all I've got! It's so hard to write a toast for (and here I started to choke up, and I felt the ugly cry coming on, and I had to deeply breathe through my nose to proceed) my baby sister. How can I express how much you mean to me, how much I love you both, and how happy I am for the two of you, in a short enough time that no one's drink gets warm? How can I choose just one embarrassing story to tell in front of everyone you know?
"No, I haven't had enough to drink to tell embarrassing stories... Yet. So I'll stick to my other specialty. Advice.
"When I was writing this, the thing I kept coming back to was the way you dance. If you've never seen Megan and Trey dance together, you are in for a treat. It occurred to me that if you can do in your marriage what you already do when you dance - if you can move together, smile, laugh, look into each others' eyes, and hold onto each other - then we'll all be back here in 50 years celebrating your love again.
"Congratulations. I love you both so much. And Trey, welcome to the family!" and as I finished speaking, I handed Trey a hammer that I'd had monogrammed with a "W". The W was kind of a running joke. His last name begins with W, and Megan and Mom kind of went crazy monogramming everything... Including the cake and the lawn! Think I'm kidding? Here:
So, the W thing was kind of a running joke.
It took me a good 15 minutes to stop shaking, and by then, the prayer had been said by my "bonus mom" Susan, and we were digging into the dinner (an amazing salad, filet, shrimp and scallops on a kabob, garlic mashed potatoes, asparagus...) Then Megan and Trey danced, and just as I had predicted, it was spectacular. Those kids really know how to cut a rug. Normally I don't like all the first dances (let's just party, already!) but it was really fun to watch people who not only know how to dance, but enjoy doing it.
After that, Carol started serving me cosmos, and things get a little blurry. I know there was a lot of dancing, laughing, dancing, drinking, and dancing. Mary Grace had an excellent time standing in front of the colored lights and watching the patterns they made on her dress. She didn't stop until midnight, believe it or not, when she finally passed out on the couch in the lobby. I got to see people I don't see often at all. I got to dance with my gorgeous husband. And before we knew it, my baby sister was riding off to her honeymoon with her new husband, and the night was over.
BJ took the kids back to his mom's, and I went to close a bar with the bridal party (too fun, but what happens at the bar stays at the bar!!). I didn't get back to his mom's house until 3:30, and even then, I was too jazzed to sleep. Megan and Trey will be back Sunday, and I'm going up with the girls on Monday to help open presents, look at pictures, and re-live it all over again with them. (And MG is going to spend a couple days with Grandma! YAY!)
I guess I should explain why I'm writing about all this in so much detail, because I know that my average reader scrolled through the pictures and then clicked "next." This is for the family members who couldn't be with us, and for me and my terrible memory so that I can re-read this in a year or ten when I've lost the details, and for Megan and Trey, so they can see what their special day looked like through someone else's eyes.
It was the most wonderful day, and I want to go back and live it over and over again. What are we going to do next? Mom? Megan?? We need a project!! I feel like I have post-wedding depression. I just can't believe it's all over.
Congratulations Megan and Trey!
WFMW: Guys
Mary Grace calls all her stuffed animals "guys," a quirk that she picked up from her Daddy. Like all families with young children, we have more than our fair share of "guys." I'm pretty sure that they're multiplying at night, after we go to bed (...never let them get wet, never feed them after midnight...)
Walmart had some collapsible hampers that were cheapity cheap cheap cheap (check the link, because they're even cuter now than they were when I bought ours), and I got one and stuck it in the corner of the toyroom (between a bookshelf and a toy bin rack, so they hold it up), and tossed all her "guys" into it. Voila.
Not tripping on "guys" whenever I try to take a step works for me. Visit Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer for more WFMW tips!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Ways you can share photos
Did I mention that my camera died before the ceremony, and I didn't get a single photo after about 3 pm on Saturday?
Yeah.
It probably would've been tacky for me, the MoH, to stand up there snapping pictures, anyway, but still.
Here are a few ways you can share your photos with me, so that I can stop obsessively hitting "refresh" on Ed's website...
Facebook - be my friend! If you can get the uploader to work, it's really fast. Even the manual uploader isn't too bad. (If you don't know my real name, email me. Assuming that you don't sound like a stalker, I'll probably go ahead and give it to you).
Picasa Web Albums - I enjoy Picasa, but BJ thinks it's a virus. The web albums are really easy to use, and you can choose how public you want the pictures to be (or not to be...) ((that is the question)).
Shutterfly - almost all of our family photos are archived on Shutterfly. This was a real godsend when I killed a harddrive when Claire was about 4 months old and lost everything. Thank God those photos were uploaded, or we wouldn't have any baby pictures of either of our kids. We're really bad at printing. You can set up shared folders on Shutterfly, too.
Oosah - I'm still investigating Oosah, but you get a free terabyte of storage (that's 1,000 gigs, right?? Damn...). There are sharing options, but I haven't fully explored them, yet. My charger died before I got deeply into it.
If you have pictures from The Wedding that you want to share with the rest of the class, upload them somewhere and leave instructions in the comments on how to get to them. Bonus - when Megan and Trey get back, they'll be able to come here and find all their pictures in one shot. Double Bonus - I can haz pictures!! Triple Bonus - I will give you all kinds of blog props if you have taken an awesome picture and I post it on Ye Ol' Blog.
It's really a win-win-win situation. So get busy, because I am dying here! I need pictures (MOM! Ahem...).
Yeah.
It probably would've been tacky for me, the MoH, to stand up there snapping pictures, anyway, but still.
Here are a few ways you can share your photos with me, so that I can stop obsessively hitting "refresh" on Ed's website...
Facebook - be my friend! If you can get the uploader to work, it's really fast. Even the manual uploader isn't too bad. (If you don't know my real name, email me. Assuming that you don't sound like a stalker, I'll probably go ahead and give it to you).
Picasa Web Albums - I enjoy Picasa, but BJ thinks it's a virus. The web albums are really easy to use, and you can choose how public you want the pictures to be (or not to be...) ((that is the question)).
Shutterfly - almost all of our family photos are archived on Shutterfly. This was a real godsend when I killed a harddrive when Claire was about 4 months old and lost everything. Thank God those photos were uploaded, or we wouldn't have any baby pictures of either of our kids. We're really bad at printing. You can set up shared folders on Shutterfly, too.
Oosah - I'm still investigating Oosah, but you get a free terabyte of storage (that's 1,000 gigs, right?? Damn...). There are sharing options, but I haven't fully explored them, yet. My charger died before I got deeply into it.
If you have pictures from The Wedding that you want to share with the rest of the class, upload them somewhere and leave instructions in the comments on how to get to them. Bonus - when Megan and Trey get back, they'll be able to come here and find all their pictures in one shot. Double Bonus - I can haz pictures!! Triple Bonus - I will give you all kinds of blog props if you have taken an awesome picture and I post it on Ye Ol' Blog.
It's really a win-win-win situation. So get busy, because I am dying here! I need pictures (MOM! Ahem...).
Monday, October 20, 2008
Mimi and Trey Got Married
Girls in white dresses with chocolate brown sashes,
Maria Blanco painted our eyelashes,
Gorgeous balloons with sunshine on their strings,
These were a few of my favorite things.
Burgundy nails from the manis and pedis,
Luncheons prepared by the Pattis and Bettis,
Ws everywhere, dropped silver rings,
These were a few of my favorite things.
Friday's rehearsal and seeing our family,
Friends and great cocktails and golf that was scrambly,
Beautiful couple fulfilling their dreams,
These were a few of my favorite things.
Four thousand roses, but really, who's counting?
Beautiful bridesmaids and groomsmen were clowning,
Eating and laughing and dancing the swing,
These were a few of my favorite things.
Ed taking photos with all of us laughing,
Pics on the fire truck, the fountain was splashing,
It all will be featured in this magazine,
These were a few of my favorite things.
Now it's over,
What will we do?
It makes me so sad.
But we'll always remember our favorite things,
And that will make us so glad.
As more pictures get uploaded today and throughout the week, I will post more photos... You do not want to miss them, because I am not exaggerating in the slightest about the roses. Really, everything was spectacular from my sister in her amazing gown right down to the slightest detail - like the hors d'oeuvres. My girls did an amazing job as flower girls, too. I'll write more of a "narrative" of the weekend after gymnastics today (during nap!). I have a new laptop waiting for me at the office (hooray!!), so I'll need to set that up and get all the pictures transferred.
Of course, my camera battery pooped out before we even got to the ceremony. Oh well. Ed should get his uploaded today, and he said I could put them on Ye Ol' Blog. If I'm in your feed reader, please don't get annoyed with the frequent posts over the next few days. I want to do only a few pictures per post so that they don't take a thousand years to load. Thanks, Barbara Darling, for the pictures above!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
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