Saturday, January 15, 2011

I Am Smote

So Claire came down with the flu this morning, and because we're quick on our feet we called the on call doc and asked for Tamiflu for her (to shorten it) and for BJ (to prevent him catching it).

BJ came home with the medicine, gave it to Claire, and she promptly threw up all over the couch.  Being the smart ass that I am, I put the following on Facebook:
Jammies - $12.99, Tamiflu - $60, Sectional Sofa - $699. Keeping $4 worth of Tamiflu down for approximately 11 seconds before puking it all over the jammies and the couch - Priceless.
Apparently the Universe does not appreciate gallows humor.  The Universe also does not appreciate it when one makes fun of one's sick 3 year old, because the next time Claire threw up, it was all over MG's favorite Jessie doll.
Without thinking, I say, "I can't clean this, we'll have to throw her away and get a new one."
MG starts freaking out.  "What's going to happen to her in the garbage place?" she bawled.
Oh no.  Curse you, Pixar!
If I had a brain in my head I would've put Jessie in a bag and said, "I'll clean her up later..." then I would have discretely thrown her out when no one was looking, and I would have swapped in the new Jessie without any drama.  But nooooooo....  
Instead, now MG knows that her beloved Jessie is facing this:
So I did what any mother would do.  I lied.  "She's not going to that garbage place.  She's going to heaven.  She and kitty are going to play with each other and wait for us."

"Mommy," she replied, "We're not going to get puked on!"
(New Jessie was $50.  This is a VERY expensive flu.)

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