Election Results

BJ has been watching the election results on CNN since before the polls closed in Indiana.

People are going to be shouting random numbers at me in my dreams.  All of the numbers will add up to 100.  But they won't make sense, because I'm trying not to listen, so it'll be things like, "52 percent of churchgoers think you should clean out a cabinet, while 48 percent of mothers and people who watch NASCAR think you should clean the bathroom."

(Clearly I have guilt about the state of my house right now).

In completely different news, I've had a LifeProof iPhone case ever since I got my iPhone 4S, and it has done an amazing job of protecting my phone from me and from the kids.  I noticed this weekend, though, that the plastic was starting to tear, so I took the case off today, and it's like having a whole new phone!  The touch screen is more responsive, it's smaller and lighter and cleaner.  It's easier to use.  I crack myself up.  It's like there has been a great phone inside of my good phone all this time, just waiting to break free...

(49 percent of people who put their left socks on first think I should get a new case, while 51 percent of people who eat their dinner one item at a time, rather than a bite of this and then a bite of that and then a bite of the other think that I should keep my phone naked).

When I am queen of the world, the "campaign season" will be from August 1 - November.  Four months is PLENTY.  Also, it will be illegal for the news channels to do this math thing.  They will be fined significantly for saying anything that adds up to 100 before the morning after the election.  (46 percent of people who have ever played beer pong think I should be the queen of the world.  54 percent of the people who have never eaten at a restaurant that starts with a vowel point out that if I were the queen of the world there would be no need for elections, or coverage.)

Mary Grace's Daisy troop meets at a church that's about a 15 minute drive from the school, so once every two weeks the leader and I load the girls up in the car and drive them across town.  Today they were singing Firework by Katy Perry, so I put it on my phone and played it when we got to a stoplight.  Once I was sure they were all singing along, I would randomly turn the volume down so that I could hear them all signing enthusiastically offkey.  It was hilarious.

Mary Grace was cracking up.  I looked at her and said, "When you're a teenager and you think I'm a huge dork, I want you to think back and remember how cool I was today," and she said, "Ok, Mommy!"

(42 percent of daughters of people with blogs think I'm a huge dork already.  58 percent stopped reading three paragraphs ago.)

CNN just projected Pennsylvania for Obama.  I just projected hot apple cider and spiced rum for myself to celebrate.

Phew

English lacks a word for the feeling of relief and gratitude that you get when you finally see that everyone is ok after something bad has happened.

I've been "what-iffing" all day after a family I love as much as my own was involved in a hit and run car accident this morning. Small town - I actually drove past the bad guy's car on my way to the grocery store. He broke down on the ramp between the main road that goes past my subdivision and the nearest state road, and I drove by on the shoulder wondering what he had hit, because the guardrail was undamaged but his front end was destroyed.  Little did I know that he had just tried to drive through my friend's minivan.

Friend's husband just posted this picture of the car on Facebook.  Yikes.

He was on drugs and driving on a suspended license.

After a brief visit to the hospital everyone was released - including her kids who were in the car with her.

We move through the world every day imagining that we're safe, and that if we make good choices and follow the rules, we will be ok. But sometimes things just happen, like a bolt out of the blue, just because you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. If we allowed ourselves to think about it, we would never leave our houses.

The bystanders were kind and helped my friend and her kids. They got them out of the mangled van and called for help. Everyone will be ok. The friends I was with when I got the news calmed me down, then kept Jack for me so I could go to my friend and offer what help I could after the fact.  Everyone is ok.

But those what-ifs...  They're just too scary sometimes.

(I'm not using any names, because I don't know that my friend wants her adventures publicized, or that she has had a chance to tell her extended family yet...  If she wants to, she can reveal herself in the comments so we can all tell her how relieved we are that she's ok.)

Aunt Kathryn Wins. Also, Christmas Stuff

Aunt Kathryn wins the prize for emailing me a thank you note from Red Stamp as instructed.  I laughed out loud!  Riley is such a ham.

I spent a good deal of time today planning our holiday activities.  Already.  We're going to ride the Polar Express, and Jack is going to flip his curly lid.  I also got Mom's annual Christmas open house on the calendar, and several other parties and special events.  It's crazy how fast December fills up with activities.  Our favorite for the past couple of years has been the Dinner with Santa at Lafayette Brewing Company.  I've checked, though, and it's not up on their online calendar yet.  We'll have to go for lunch sometime in the next few weeks to get the info.  It's funny - we just kind of stumbled onto that one several years ago, and we've been going ever since.  It's a lot of fun, and the kids really love it.

Imagine these filled with Brach's pick-a-mix,
hanging on the doorknob.

When I was a kid we used to go to Marshall Field's and have cocoa in the Walnut Room and see the tree.  I'm not sure that we did it every year, but when we did it was really special.  We also went to the Kiwanis Lunch with Santa when I was very little.  One of my few real memories of my Papa (he died when I was 6) is going to that event with him and my uncles when I had the flu, and getting sick in my salad bowl!  Of course he took me home right away.  They used to hand out those red mesh stockings full of candy, and my mom hung it on my bedroom doorknob (we lived in the house my sister lives in now, so I must have been between 3 and 5).  I couldn't have any, of course, because in the 1980s when you threw up your mom starved you for at least 24 hours minimum, and it was torture to have to look at it.  I still remember feeling so frustrated and disappointed, 30 years later!

I really like candy.

So far I've managed not to get all grumpy and stressed about Christmas like I normally do.  We'll see how long I can keep that up.  It's just so much pressure being the mom, and feeling like everyone's Precious and Important Holiday Experience is in your hands.  (Ok, that's b.s., I got stressed about the holidays before I had kids - it just got harder after the kids were born).

I know it's early to think about Christmas, but I'd love to hear about your family's holiday traditions.  Do you get grumpy and stressed, too?

Red Stamp

No one is paying me anything or giving me anything to write this post.  I just like to share the cool stuff I find with you all from time to time.

I suck at thank you notes.  I mean, really, really suck.  It's not that I'm ungrateful, I'm just really busy, and for some reason finding a stamp is as hard in this house as finding tape or a pair of scissors that is still suitable for cutting fabric (seriously, family, lay off Mommy's scissors!).  Excuses, excuses, it's one of the things on the short list of things I wish I could change about myself (we don't need to get into the rest of that list, it's depressing...  But I'd like to be in a single digit size between now and when I die, and also I really would like to cure my chronic foot-in-mouth syndrome).

And then I found out about Red Stamp, and everything changed.

Red Stamp is an iOS app.  You download it free from the app store, then you give it permission to muck around with your photos and your contacts, and BAM!  Instant thank you notes.

Seriously, look at the one I made from our Halloween picture in like 33 seconds:

Or this one that I sent to my mother-in-law after our trip to Chicago:

Or this one I sent to Uncle Doug and Aunt Kathy:

Once you've designed your card, you can email it, text it, save it to your camera roll, post it to Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram, or you can pay $1.99 to have Red Stamp print it and send it to your recipient in the actual mail!

I am using the heck out of this thing.  Sure, the same functionality is available from a variety of websites (I've used Shutterfly for the past several years to do our Christmas cards, for example), but this app is so quick and so slick, and it makes sending personalized thank you notes so easy, that I have officially run out of excuses.  I don't have to plug in my camera, upload to my computer, walk uphill both ways to the post office...  I just choose the cute layout (and they have a lot of cute ones!), choose the picture, change the text, choose the recipient, and hit "MAIL IT!"

The other thing that I love is that they're something that the recipient will actually keep and enjoy, rather than just reading and saying, "Oh, that's nice," and tossing away.  (Actually, I keep every single personal piece of mail I get, from letters to thank you notes to Christmas cards, but I'm crazy like that.  Most people don't.)  I wish I had found the app before we left the Jack Hanna show, because I would've taken a picture of the kids.  I found it later that same day.  I just happened to have taken a picture of the logo on the wall and the screen to blog about it. 

So, there you go.  I just made your holidays a LOT easier if you have an iOS device.  You can just email me the thank you note. 

November 1

Dear Mrs. O. and Mrs. W.,

I am so, so sorry for inflicting my children on you today.  They are hungover from sugar and too much excitement.  You should get hazard pay.

When I told Claire that she could have "two pieces of candy" I failed to tell her that I meant fun sized pieces, and when I wasn't watching she ate a fun sized piece of something and then 3/4 of a king sized Reese's PB cup package that Grandpa Bob gave her.  I only know this because I found the wrappers on the counter and Claire on the ceiling.  She'll probably come down from the sugar high around 11 am today.

Mary Grace has a pretty serious sugar addiction to start with, so her blood sugar level isn't too far above her normal pre-diabetic level.  However, she IS reacting to her sister's hyperness, and so she's unusually grumpy and short tempered.

In addition to the sugar, they were also both up about an hour and a half later than usual last night.  Sorry.

Most of all, I'm sorry for being very, very relieved when it was time for them to go wait for the bus.

Sincerely,
Amy