BJ has been watching the election results on CNN since before the polls closed in Indiana.
People are going to be shouting random numbers at me in my dreams. All of the numbers will add up to 100. But they won't make sense, because I'm trying not to listen, so it'll be things like, "52 percent of churchgoers think you should clean out a cabinet, while 48 percent of mothers and people who watch NASCAR think you should clean the bathroom."
(Clearly I have guilt about the state of my house right now).
In completely different news, I've had a LifeProof iPhone case ever since I got my iPhone 4S, and it has done an amazing job of protecting my phone from me and from the kids. I noticed this weekend, though, that the plastic was starting to tear, so I took the case off today, and it's like having a whole new phone! The touch screen is more responsive, it's smaller and lighter and cleaner. It's easier to use. I crack myself up. It's like there has been a great phone inside of my good phone all this time, just waiting to break free...
(49 percent of people who put their left socks on first think I should get a new case, while 51 percent of people who eat their dinner one item at a time, rather than a bite of this and then a bite of that and then a bite of the other think that I should keep my phone naked).
When I am queen of the world, the "campaign season" will be from August 1 - November. Four months is PLENTY. Also, it will be illegal for the news channels to do this math thing. They will be fined significantly for saying anything that adds up to 100 before the morning after the election. (46 percent of people who have ever played beer pong think I should be the queen of the world. 54 percent of the people who have never eaten at a restaurant that starts with a vowel point out that if I were the queen of the world there would be no need for elections, or coverage.)
Mary Grace's Daisy troop meets at a church that's about a 15 minute drive from the school, so once every two weeks the leader and I load the girls up in the car and drive them across town. Today they were singing Firework by Katy Perry, so I put it on my phone and played it when we got to a stoplight. Once I was sure they were all singing along, I would randomly turn the volume down so that I could hear them all signing enthusiastically offkey. It was hilarious.
Mary Grace was cracking up. I looked at her and said, "When you're a teenager and you think I'm a huge dork, I want you to think back and remember how cool I was today," and she said, "Ok, Mommy!"
(42 percent of daughters of people with blogs think I'm a huge dork already. 58 percent stopped reading three paragraphs ago.)
CNN just projected Pennsylvania for Obama. I just projected hot apple cider and spiced rum for myself to celebrate.