The girls were at school on Friday. I had Jack in a brown shirt and jeans, inside of my blue sling, at the store. An old lady comes up and says, "She looks tired," or some similarly passive-aggressive comment (the undertone being, "Shouldn't you be at home putting your baby down for a nap instead of here?") I mentioned that she was a he, and that yes he was tired but it wasn't quite nap time yet.
"He? With those curls? I don't know if I like that!" she said.
I sputtered something about keeping it cut short, but I wish I had kicked her in her stupid old teeth.
I find that people are much more apt to stay stupid things when I don't have the girls with me - they assume that he's my first, and that I don't know what I'm doing. I remember getting a lot of stupid comments about MG, much more than I got with Claire because when Claire was a baby, I nearly always had both of them with me (MG was never in school or on a playdate on her own, because she wasn't old enough to have her own little life, yet).
The crones of the world could really learn to be nicer to first time mothers, or those who appear to be first timers.
Leave your best, "What Amy should have said," in the comments.
(Mine, which I thought of in the car on the way to get the girls, was, "Well, that's ok, he thinks your hair is stupid, too.")
3 comments:
You could say..."It must be so hard for your children. I'm sure you never made mean comments to strangers before your dementia."
I clearly remember Mom and I being mortified when, as we were leaving a restaurant, my dad walked over to a young couple with a child and asked if they were sure they could afford to be eating out. His dementia progressed rapidly from that point. He's been gone nearly ten years and now...it's my mom who says things that she never would have when she was younger.
However, I still stand by my suggested comment because my gentle but firm comments to both of my parents sometimes resulted/results in improved behaviors.
People just like to talk to hear their own voices sometimes. Ugh.
How about "You don't have to like it." Said with the sweetest smile pasted on your face. :)
Cranky seniors seem to be out in droves lately.
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