WTF??? Expensive Gas

So I was sitting here finishing up that last post, when I felt something that I've missed... Something that I haven't felt in a little over 6 months.

It felt like a baby. Moving. On the inside.

I sat here, stunned, for a little while, and listened to my uterus. I didn't feel it again, but I knew that I had felt something. "Oh dear God," I thought, mentally calculating how far along I would be if I were already feeling it move, then calculating how old Claire and MG would be when this theoretical baby was born, if I am... "Oh dear God," I thought again.

The phone rang. It was my mom. "How are you?" she said. "Um...." "It's probably just gas," she said. "Let's hope so!" I said, running upstairs to grab a leftover pregnancy test. "We'll take this together," I said to Mom. "I can't do this by myself. I don't want to freak BJ out."

"How long do they take?" Mom asks. "Not long," I say. "Don't you have to do it in the morning?" "Not if I'm so far along that I can feel it!" "Haven't you been getting periods?" (Bye, Dad. TMI, I know...) "No. I have a Mirena (which I love), but you can get pregnant with one. It's uncommon, but not impossible. The doctor said that if I start to feel pregnant I should take a test, since it's possible, but I don't get sick, and I haven't had a period, but that could be because of the nursing or the Mirena or both..."

"Ok, it says...." (and then Mom's cell phone dropped, which was pretty funny - just like one of those commercials).

"YOU ARE?" she shouts through the static.

"No, no, no! I'm not! It's ok. I'm not pregnant!" Stupid highway 2. No signal. "I'm not, Mom. No baby."

Phew!

It's going to get really expensive if I have to take a pregnancy test every time I have gas.

And even as I feel the relief wash over me, I start to feel a little sad, too. Can you believe that? With a 6 month old and a 2 year old, that I would be a little sad that I'm not 4 or 5 months (or so) pregnant? Claire would be about a year old, and MG would be about 2 and a half. I'd have 3 kids under 3. That would be insane.

"Insane, and fun," part of me whispers.

"And expensive!" my rational mind insists, "and I'd never sleep again!"

"Yeah," that voice whispers again, "but for a minute, you were excited, weren't you? Admit it. You kind of wanted it to be a plus. "

Yeah, I kind of did.

Wow.

If that doesn't qualify for a "What the ... Friday???" I don't know what does.