Monday, April 5, 2010

Revenge Of The Easter Bunny

Things I have learned today:
  • You are not a mean parent for taking the candy away. 
  • When your kid says she has a stomach ache after a major candy consuming holiday, listen.
  • When both of your kids say they have stomach aches after a major candy consuming holiday, do not plan an outing.
  • Do not, I repeat, do not ever try to force your kid to eat lunch on the day after a major candy eating holiday.
  • They'll make you regret that you said, "if you don't eat that we can't go to the museum."  Oh yes, they will.
  • The ability to reliably aim for a bowl is a more important skill than being potty trained.  
  • If you have a stomach upheaval while on the road, go through a KFC drive-through and beg for a couple of empty buckets.  
  • Preferably unused, because the smell of KFC is nauseating enough on its own.  Seriously, Indianapolis KFC - have you ever been cleaned?
  • Laying blankets under sick children is a good way to avoid having to wash the sheets every time they miss.
  • You'll still end up doing three loads of laundry, minimum, for every six hours of illness.
  • Stomach upheaval is excellent for the diet.
  • Having Easter candy lying around is not.
  • Netflix "Watch Instantly" is proof that BJ is brilliant, because he made it possible for us to watch Netflix on the TV in the bedroom.
You get three posts today, so enjoy it, because I'm probably going to have the stomach flu by morning.  You might want to actually save this one and read it tomorrow or Wednesday, just so you don't miss me.

PS - BJ drove through a tornado warning on his way to the show he went to tonight.  He's fine, but his car apparently took severe damage from the hail.  I guess it looks like (and sounded like) someone was driving golf balls into the roof of the car.  Because, you know, we needed one more thing today. 

PPS - I've lived in Indiana my ENTIRE life - and I've been through an actual tornado - and I still can't remember the difference between a watch and a warning, and which one is worse.  I think they need to change it from "watch" means one is possible and "warning" means one has been sighted (or vice versa - seriously, I have no idea) to something intuitive, like a tornado "maybe" and a tornado "take cover!"  Wouldn't that be more sensible?

PPPS - Also, while we're changing big things, daylight saving time is bullshit and should be stopped immediately.


Cate said...

Great advice, and I appreciate that it was hard-earned, my friend, hard-earned. :)

Bev said...

I've lived in Illinois for all but eight of my sixty (yikes!) years and still have trouble remembering when to go to the or warning? home ended up on it's roof from a tornado nearly forty years ago when I was pregnant with my first child. aaaah...memories...

Erin said... is possible tornado and warning is sighted tornado. Florida people REALLY freak out about tornados. Weird.

Hope the kiddos feel better soon! I had food poisoning on Saturday and it wasn't fun. Got the fridge seriously cleaned out today. Thankfully there wasn't too much expired!