- You are not a mean parent for taking the candy away.
- When your kid says she has a stomach ache after a major candy consuming holiday, listen.
- When both of your kids say they have stomach aches after a major candy consuming holiday, do not plan an outing.
- Do not, I repeat, do not ever try to force your kid to eat lunch on the day after a major candy eating holiday.
- They'll make you regret that you said, "if you don't eat that we can't go to the museum." Oh yes, they will.
- The ability to reliably aim for a bowl is a more important skill than being potty trained.
- If you have a stomach upheaval while on the road, go through a KFC drive-through and beg for a couple of empty buckets.
- Preferably unused, because the smell of KFC is nauseating enough on its own. Seriously, Indianapolis KFC - have you ever been cleaned?
- Laying blankets under sick children is a good way to avoid having to wash the sheets every time they miss.
- You'll still end up doing three loads of laundry, minimum, for every six hours of illness.
- Stomach upheaval is excellent for the diet.
- Having Easter candy lying around is not.
- Netflix "Watch Instantly" is proof that BJ is brilliant, because he made it possible for us to watch Netflix on the TV in the bedroom.
PS - BJ drove through a tornado warning on his way to the show he went to tonight. He's fine, but his car apparently took severe damage from the hail. I guess it looks like (and sounded like) someone was driving golf balls into the roof of the car. Because, you know, we needed one more thing today.
PPS - I've lived in Indiana my ENTIRE life - and I've been through an actual tornado - and I still can't remember the difference between a watch and a warning, and which one is worse. I think they need to change it from "watch" means one is possible and "warning" means one has been sighted (or vice versa - seriously, I have no idea) to something intuitive, like a tornado "maybe" and a tornado "take cover!" Wouldn't that be more sensible?
PPPS - Also, while we're changing big things, daylight saving time is bullshit and should be stopped immediately.