Friday, May 27, 2011

Your Daily Cry

I promise I'm not going to beat the story of the dog into the ground, but just one more heartwarming thing, and I swear I'll stop making you all cry, ok?

I got home tonight and BJ was already here.  I hate that he came home to a completely empty house, and I had tried to beat him home, but I didn't make it.  When I walked in he was standing at the kitchen counter looking exceptionally sad.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

He gestured at a box on the counter from Purdue.  We assumed that it was Max's ashes.

"Oh wow, oh God, that was fast."

I felt AWFUL.  I knew it would be hard for him to come home to an empty house, but to come home to an empty house and a box full of... well, that was just horrible.  Sometimes there just isn't enough Zoloft, you know?

We talked about whether or not we wanted to scatter them at the airport this weekend, and we decided to wait because we're not sure if we'll want to scatter them all or save some.  We've never had custody of any ashes before, so we're not sure what to do.  We don't want to regret a decision we make in grief.  So we'll wait.  After all, Aunt Vicki drove around with her husband's ashes in her trunk for at least a year or two, right?  We don't have to decide immediately. 

By this point we'd wandered into the laundry room and BJ was changing Jack's diaper.  I told BJ I'd take care of the box, and I went back into the kitchen to put the box somewhere where he would not accidentally find it and get all sad again between now and when we decided what to do.

When I picked up the box it felt way too light for what I thought was inside.  I remembered that they were sending a metal urn, and this didn't feel at all like metal.

Curiosity overwhelmed me, and I opened the box.

Inside a sympathy card with personal notes and signed by everyone we came into contact with at Purdue, and a clay impression of her paw print!  I laughed at us for a second before I started sobbing.  To think that I almost put this treasure away without opening the box or looking at it.

People can be so lovely.  I continue to be blown away by the kindness that surrounds us.

Lauren, Mike, Kristi, Laura, Brandy, Greg, Rebecca, and Jeff - thank you.


Cate said...

Good, compassionate vets are worth their weight in gold. :)

Wendi said...

I am so sorry to hear about your beloved Max. We lost our "firstborn", Rudy, 15 months ago suddenly and it is still hard for us some days. He was 7. In fact, we didn't tell anyone for the longest time because it was so hard to talk about. We had his ashes put in a lovely wooden box, with his picture on it some engraving. My husband has still never even seen it because it has just been so hard. You and your family are in my thoughts....dogs just don't live long enough.

RobMonroe said...

Funny story - we did that with a wedding gift! Took six months to finally open the box - instead of a knife set it was a tightly packed towel in a knife box!!