At the dentist for MG's first filling...
"We would prefer that you wait for her out here."
Inside I'm thinking, "I would prefer not to have to find a new dentist."
But I said very calmly, "We can't come back with her?" as I prepared to say, "Ok, then, we're leaving!" if the answer was yes.
"One of you can," she said. So I stood down. BJ is with her. When I took Claire to the bathroom just now I heard Mary Grace cry out, "Ow! Ouch!!!" and I instantly got a headache. It is taking a great deal of willpower to keep myself in this lobby.
Being a mom is hard. And I'll bet getting my teeth cleaned with a headache is gonna suck.
8 comments:
You know, our pediatric dentist requests that parents not go into the exam room with the children. Apparently the kids do much better without the parents...it was hard for me to imagine, but after a few visits, I see it is absolutely true.
Hope the little patient is ok!
I think it depends on the kid -- my son needs my company, my (younger) daughter is just fine on her own.
Claire told Daddy during her cleaning that he was free to go wait for her in the lobby. I am FINE with some kids deciding that they're comfortable on their own with the dentist/doctor/etc. I'm NOT fine with blanket policies that don't take into account the individual preferences of the kids and their parents.
Because I think the kids who are truly frightened don't actually "do better" (as in, experience less fear) when their parents aren't around - the ones who are truly scared feel less safe to say so because they're in a room full of adult strangers in white coats of authority. They're terrified into compliance. Sure, it's easier on the adults, but at what price?
Doctors terrify ME into compliance half the time, and I'm a mouthy 35 year old who isn't afraid to chase strangers down in their cars and tell them they're driving like assholes.
Only you know your kids and what they're truly comfortable with. But I know Mary Grace better than anyone, and while she can be brave and bold in some situations, this is not one that I was going to put her into (especially without any preparation beforehand) alone.
That said, she did really well, and I think she does do better with Daddy than with me in these situations. She's braver for him because she wants him to be proud of her. She's a marshmallow with me because I'm her mommy.
She has another cavity in the same spot on the other side, though (which indicates a defect in the way the teeth formed, and not in how well she brushes) so I guess we're headed back again soon. *sigh*
You should let her go in by herself next time--she will have to get used to it and used to strangers...
I won't take my children to a dentist who won't let the parents come back. However, when I was teaching preschool I saw first hand how many children do so much better in many situations without there parents in the room so I do understand why some dentists make this policy. They can run their office how they want and I choose whether or not to go there.
I usually schedule our appointments as a block so I am not always right by each child but I am back there are the exam doors all connect with only half doors between them. I still remember the first time my old was called back and just walked back without waiting for me. I just sat for a minute wondering if I should let her since she was so sure of herself.
@Anon -
Thanks for the input, but I'm not in the habit of taking parenting advise from strangers on the internet who can't even be bothered to use their real name.
Cheers,
Amy
Being a mom is hard. There is no doubt about that! I'm sorry you weren't able to go back with her. Surely they could've made room for one more person!
Seems to me the issue is that MG is getting cavities at 6 years old. What are we doing to ensure that we don't have to worry about strangers drilling in the pretty babies anymore? Love and kisses, Uncle Chuck
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