Community Service

Ok, scraping and sanding the porch sucks.  I don't want to ever do this again.  We're building our next house out of PVC.

Speaking of our next house, I'm probably going to be tarred, feathered, and run out of the neighborhood on a rail because I volunteered to lead the neighborhood association.  There's a big conflict between da 'hood and the private school down the street, and rather than get all whipped up in a lather about it I'm actually trying to sit down and talk with all the parties involved and reach a solution that makes everyone happy, and for this I'm being accused by my neighbors of conspiracy and getting grumpy emails and all other manner of b.s.

You know, because it's oh so wrong to try to solve conflicts like grown ups.  It's so much more fun to get all freaked out and yell about how long you've lived here and make up rumors about what people are planning to do with their imaginary bottomless piles of money.

(Waiting for a grumpy neighbor to find this blog in T-ten... nine... eight...  (None of my Facebook friends who are also my neighbors are grumpy, and they'd better not forward this to the grumpy ones!!))

SO brilliant of me to complain about the neighborhood when I posted a picture of the front of my house earlier today.  I'm a regular savant.

Not that I've said anything here (ever) that I wouldn't say to someone's face.  I ended an email today with, "I'm pretty sure that Hitler started out as the president of his HOA."  Because when mediation doesn't work, sometimes you have to resort to sarcasm.

While we weren't rubbing our knuckles raw on the porch, I tried to talk to some neighbors (I talked to three - 109 to go!) about all the things that are going on with the school.  It gave my arms a chance to stop vibrating from the sander.  We also swept some magical polymerized sand stuff into the cracks of the patio and then BJ sprinkled it with the hose and it's supposed to seal up all the seams so we don't get so many weeds.  We'll see how that goes.  The dog is probably stuck to the patio as I'm typing this.

And if that wasn't enough for one day, BJ and MG set up a lemonade stand in the front yard.  MG learned a lot of valuable lessons about running a business, including:

• If you give your friends freebies, you won't make any money.
• Being able to make correct change is a critical skill.  You can't take 5 dimes from someone and give them two quarters back when lemonade is 50 cents and expect to be able to repay your loans.
• Advertising is vital to the success of any retail enterprise.
• It sucks to work when all your friends are off playing.
• You have to sell a hell of a lot of lemonade to earn enough money to buy four Star Wars figures - you're better off just waiting for your birthday.

The First Bank of Mom and Dad gave her $14 in seed money.  She made $13.  If she doesn't pay us back with interest, she's gonna be swimmin' with da fishes.  Our interest rates are ridiculous.

Busy week this week.  MG is going to Girl Scouts Camp and Claire is going to Grandma Camp.  Jack is stuck with me.