We recently survived Mary Grace's Friend birthday party. Her Family birthday party is tomorrow. There were 22 kids here from 2 - 4:30. We've got 22 relatives coming tomorrow. You can see why the parties needed to be divided.
I went rogue and I didn't plan any activities. I didn't have goodie bags for the kids to take home, either. I also asked our guests to bring donations for the food pantry in lieu of gifts. With 22 relatives coming tomorrow, Mary Grace really didn't need gifts from her friends. A couple of our friends have done similar things (donations of books or school supplies), and I thought it was a very good idea. The kids just went nuts and played. We served apples, grapes, watermelon, chips, snack mix, popcorn, and of course cake and ice cream (actually, we forgot to get ice cream so Colleen ran out to get some - thanks again!). It was very simple and very nice. The kids were really good. Everyone got along. Mary Grace had a great time.
Simple parties are where it's at, y'all.
Yesterday, on her actual birthday, we took her to Dave and Busters down in Indy, which would have been a lot of fun except for two 12 or 13 year old girls stole all of Mary Grace's tickets. They came over and asked us "Who's winning?" while we were playing a driving game, and swiped the tickets while we were distracted. I had a rough idea of their size and age from their voices, so I went looking around for them. They made eye contact with me and then ran - guilty behavior if I ever saw it! I told the girls, "Go find Daddy!" and took off after them. They sat down in a booth and I said, "Did you come up and talk to my daughters and me while we were playing the driving game?"
"No, that wasn't us."
"Then why did you run when you saw me looking for you?"
"Because we're leaving, it's time for us to go."
"Really? If you're leaving then why are you sitting at an empty booth looking guilty? Where are your parents?" I marched them over to the table where their family was, and when their mother appeared I told her what I suspected and why. I said, "I don't want anything from you, but I thought you needed to know what they did." She said, "I'm sorry that happened to you," but didn't accept responsibility. I walked away feeling shaken and sick. The hostess took me outside to calm down. She said, "If some stranger was accusing your kids like that, you'd stand up for your kids, too, wouldn't you?" and I agreed that I probably would, but I would grill them later and extract confessions, and then I would punish them severely - once for stealing and once for embarrassing me in public! I didn't expect her to beat them senseless right there in front of me or anything. But I sure hope they were suitably punished when they got home.
After talking to the hostess, Danielle, I went back in to find BJ and the kids. Mary Grace was sobbing, and even though the restaurant refunded her tickets (we guessed that she'd had between 500 and 1000, so they gave us 750). She didn't understand at first that they'd put them on the debit card thing and that's why we didn't have a bucket of tickets anymore. The whole thing cast a dark shadow over what was otherwise a really good time.
I just don't understand people. I hope those girls learned a good lesson.
Monica was impressed, when I told her the story, that I had confronted them. She said, "Weren't you afraid of getting punched or something?" It never even occurred to me to worry about it. The police and the manager were standing right there by the time I talked to the mother. I guess the pain of getting punched would go away in a day or two, but the anger I would have felt if they had gotten away with what they did would have lasted a lifetime.
Teachable moment for the girls, too, about why we don't take things that don't belong to us, and why we need to take good care of what does belong to us, because there are dishonest people, etc. etc. Ugh. Heck of a lesson to learn on your birthday.
Anyway, I'm exhausted. I have some new books downloaded, so I'm going to go lay on the couch in the family room and read until I can put the kids to bed.
Showing posts with label Outings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Outings. Show all posts
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Thursday, September 1, 2011
S is for Sunrise
You may have noticed that I was a wee bit on the grumpy side today.
It all started last night. Jack took three incredibly long naps yesterday. He must be getting ready to do calculus or something really monumental, because he slept more than he was awake.
Until 11 pm, when he woke ALL the way up. For three hours.
Yes, I was up with my darling child and his brand new fun-to-grind front teeth until 2 am.
I finally crawled to bed and fell asleep, then Mary Grace came down. It felt like it was immediately after I fell asleep.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"I don't know."
"What does the clock say?"
"S."
"Go back to bed."
I'm pretty sure S is for "5." Or possibly "Sunrise." Or "holyS*** it's early!"
Regardless, no one should wake up at S.
I tried, today. I really did. After we got MG on the bus, Claire, Jack and I got dressed and we went to the bank, then to McDonald's for breakfast (Claire wanted cinnamon rolls). On the way out, as we were crossing the parking lot, this woman came BARRELING into the parking lot, she must have been doing 30. I had to push Claire back out of the way. "SLOW DOWN" I yelled.
Then as I was backing out, some other idiot in a truck came screaming into the parking lot and didn't bother to stop, even though I was 2/3 of the way out of my spot before he turned in. He got the Hoosier Salute and a little bit of reality-TV style arm action.
We were late for Claire's preschool open house because somehow I'd put it on the calendar for 9 - 10:30 instead of 9 - 10. It's ok, we know the drill from last year. But it wasn't the best way to start the year. I promise I'll do better next week, Mrs. P and Mrs. D!
We made it through the grocery store with no fussing, which is a monumental accomplishment. A nice lady even let us go ahead of her when a new line opened up. We managed to get the frozen stuff put away and get to the school on time to get MG.
Home. Lunch. And then, somehow, it all fell apart.
I will spare you the gory details, but I ended up yelling at some poor customer service rep from Bank of America because they bought our mortgage from Huntington and they don't have a branch here, so I can't talk to real people, and it's just SO unfair and stupid, and I don't WANT to deal with them because when I get a late fee which was totally not my fault and I took care of it last month, immediately after they called me and said I'd mistakenly paid the wrong amount, but there's no real person to go talk to unless I go to flippin' Oklahoma or something, and just take the $45 off of my bill, lady, before I go postal, all right?
The kids were screaming in the background, I was crying. It was not pretty.
She was like, "Step away from the knife drawer, woman. I'll take it off."
Being insane saved me $45 today, so there's that.
Then Monica saw my angsty blog post and she was like, "Bring all the little children unto meeee!" and she even offered to keep them while I went and did something, but I had already been shopping so I couldn't think of anything to do, so I stayed and we laughed and it was all ok again.
Jack fell asleep on the way home, and I dropped the kids off at Grandpa's so I could sneak in a little nap before dinner. BJ handled almost all of bedtime. I'm about to go get some ice cream. It's going to be ok.
Mama said there'd be days like this. *sigh*
Looking forward to a long weekend, here. How 'bout you?
It all started last night. Jack took three incredibly long naps yesterday. He must be getting ready to do calculus or something really monumental, because he slept more than he was awake.
Until 11 pm, when he woke ALL the way up. For three hours.
Yes, I was up with my darling child and his brand new fun-to-grind front teeth until 2 am.
I finally crawled to bed and fell asleep, then Mary Grace came down. It felt like it was immediately after I fell asleep.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"I don't know."
"What does the clock say?"
"S."
"Go back to bed."
I'm pretty sure S is for "5." Or possibly "Sunrise." Or "holyS*** it's early!"
Regardless, no one should wake up at S.
I tried, today. I really did. After we got MG on the bus, Claire, Jack and I got dressed and we went to the bank, then to McDonald's for breakfast (Claire wanted cinnamon rolls). On the way out, as we were crossing the parking lot, this woman came BARRELING into the parking lot, she must have been doing 30. I had to push Claire back out of the way. "SLOW DOWN" I yelled.
Then as I was backing out, some other idiot in a truck came screaming into the parking lot and didn't bother to stop, even though I was 2/3 of the way out of my spot before he turned in. He got the Hoosier Salute and a little bit of reality-TV style arm action.
We were late for Claire's preschool open house because somehow I'd put it on the calendar for 9 - 10:30 instead of 9 - 10. It's ok, we know the drill from last year. But it wasn't the best way to start the year. I promise I'll do better next week, Mrs. P and Mrs. D!
We made it through the grocery store with no fussing, which is a monumental accomplishment. A nice lady even let us go ahead of her when a new line opened up. We managed to get the frozen stuff put away and get to the school on time to get MG.
Home. Lunch. And then, somehow, it all fell apart.
I will spare you the gory details, but I ended up yelling at some poor customer service rep from Bank of America because they bought our mortgage from Huntington and they don't have a branch here, so I can't talk to real people, and it's just SO unfair and stupid, and I don't WANT to deal with them because when I get a late fee which was totally not my fault and I took care of it last month, immediately after they called me and said I'd mistakenly paid the wrong amount, but there's no real person to go talk to unless I go to flippin' Oklahoma or something, and just take the $45 off of my bill, lady, before I go postal, all right?
The kids were screaming in the background, I was crying. It was not pretty.
She was like, "Step away from the knife drawer, woman. I'll take it off."
Being insane saved me $45 today, so there's that.
Then Monica saw my angsty blog post and she was like, "Bring all the little children unto meeee!" and she even offered to keep them while I went and did something, but I had already been shopping so I couldn't think of anything to do, so I stayed and we laughed and it was all ok again.
Jack fell asleep on the way home, and I dropped the kids off at Grandpa's so I could sneak in a little nap before dinner. BJ handled almost all of bedtime. I'm about to go get some ice cream. It's going to be ok.
Mama said there'd be days like this. *sigh*
Looking forward to a long weekend, here. How 'bout you?
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Star Light, Star Bright
I'm waiting for BJ to finish putting the girls to bed after a nice, quiet weekend.
We had Grandpa Ben down for dinner on Saturday night, then we went to a nearby observatory and looked at the stars. We got to see Saturn so clearly that we could see its rings. We also saw a binary star pair that are blue and topaz - apparently that's unusual because most of the time two stars that orbit each other are the same color. They call them the Boy Scouts pair at our observatory, because the Scouts have helped build the observatory, and I guess their colors are blue and gold.
Did you know that most of the stars you see are actually binary pairs? Wouldn't it be awesome to have two suns, or dozens of moons like Jupiter? If I could choose one celestial object, though, I'd wish the earth had rings.
One of my all-time favorite animations!
Did you know that almost all of the visible bodies in the night sky are in the Milky Way? You can kind of see Andromeda, if you're out in the country and you've got better eyesight than I have, which is a separate galaxy.
Did you know that there's a black hole at the center of our galaxy, the Milky Way? I didn't! How have I lived 35 years, the last 14 of them with a rocket scientist, and NOT known that?
The ISS went over while we were there - that was really cool. It reminded me of our honeymoon - we went to the Lowell Observatory in Arizona and it went over. When BJ pointed it out to someone who worked there, that person took off running to tell the rest of the staff. It was before they installed the solar panels, so the ISS was a lot harder to see back then. Very cool.
The Milky Way, a relatively small galaxy, contains 200 billion stars (give or take). There are estimated to be hundreds of billions of galaxies in the universe. So if each star has 8 planets, how many countless squajillions of planets are there? Do you think anyone might be on any of them, looking toward us, wondering the same things?
I do, but I don't think they're able to get to us, any more than we're able to get to them. In other words, I believe that there is life elsewhere in the universe - there MUST be - but I don't think it's going to bother us any time soon. I'm not worried about UFOs.
We would have stayed much longer, but the girls were really tired. We ought to be on Central Time, but instead we're on Eastern, so it gets dark really late, and it makes it hard to do any astronomy with small kids. But it was well worth it. I learned a lot. And I got to have one of my favorite experiences - looking up into the vastness of space, in the dark and the quiet, and counting stars until I lose track. When you do that, you can feel so small that all of your worries just slip away.
This post is dedicated to Susan at Toddler Planet, who loves science even more than I do.
We had Grandpa Ben down for dinner on Saturday night, then we went to a nearby observatory and looked at the stars. We got to see Saturn so clearly that we could see its rings. We also saw a binary star pair that are blue and topaz - apparently that's unusual because most of the time two stars that orbit each other are the same color. They call them the Boy Scouts pair at our observatory, because the Scouts have helped build the observatory, and I guess their colors are blue and gold.
Did you know that most of the stars you see are actually binary pairs? Wouldn't it be awesome to have two suns, or dozens of moons like Jupiter? If I could choose one celestial object, though, I'd wish the earth had rings.
One of my all-time favorite animations!
Did you know that almost all of the visible bodies in the night sky are in the Milky Way? You can kind of see Andromeda, if you're out in the country and you've got better eyesight than I have, which is a separate galaxy.
Did you know that there's a black hole at the center of our galaxy, the Milky Way? I didn't! How have I lived 35 years, the last 14 of them with a rocket scientist, and NOT known that?
The ISS went over while we were there - that was really cool. It reminded me of our honeymoon - we went to the Lowell Observatory in Arizona and it went over. When BJ pointed it out to someone who worked there, that person took off running to tell the rest of the staff. It was before they installed the solar panels, so the ISS was a lot harder to see back then. Very cool.
The Milky Way, a relatively small galaxy, contains 200 billion stars (give or take). There are estimated to be hundreds of billions of galaxies in the universe. So if each star has 8 planets, how many countless squajillions of planets are there? Do you think anyone might be on any of them, looking toward us, wondering the same things?
I do, but I don't think they're able to get to us, any more than we're able to get to them. In other words, I believe that there is life elsewhere in the universe - there MUST be - but I don't think it's going to bother us any time soon. I'm not worried about UFOs.
We would have stayed much longer, but the girls were really tired. We ought to be on Central Time, but instead we're on Eastern, so it gets dark really late, and it makes it hard to do any astronomy with small kids. But it was well worth it. I learned a lot. And I got to have one of my favorite experiences - looking up into the vastness of space, in the dark and the quiet, and counting stars until I lose track. When you do that, you can feel so small that all of your worries just slip away.
This post is dedicated to Susan at Toddler Planet, who loves science even more than I do.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Soccer!
Jack actually fell asleep for a while at the game. I'm looking forward to that reflex where they hold their breath when you blow on their face going away (within the next month or so). It makes it uncomfortable for him to be out in the wind.
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| "I... can't... breathe!" |
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| It used to be twice that size. |
All of this activity isn't doing anything for improving the girls' sleep. It's 9:30 and they're still upstairs yakking.
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| She's the tall one with the ponytail. |
I feel like we've done nothing but eat and play soccer this weekend. BJ decided that he wanted to make beignets this morning. We started the dough last night, then put it in the fridge after it had risen. We tried frying them in a pan on the stove this morning, but the oil got way too hot and they were burnt on the outside and raw in the center, so he ran out to Walmart to get a Fry Daddy.
It probably would have been cheaper and healthier, in the long run, if he'd just picked up a dozen donuts instead. I keep thinking of things I can fry. It's a new toy! The pamphlet that came with it had a recipe for quesadillas that I'm dying to try. As if quesadillas aren't bad enough with all that cheese - let's deep fry them! I told him before he left that it was kind of a foolish purchase for two people who had been dieting for a year and a half, but he was determined.
The beignets were awesome.
Next weekend I think we're going to try jelly donuts. I remember my Grandma Betty making donuts once when we spent the weekend at her house when I was a kid, and I thought it was magical. They can't be that much worse than pancakes, right?
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Mission Accomplished
I'm feeling a lot more confident about our impending trip to Florida. Yesterday BJ had tickets for a lecture, and I knew he wouldn't be home until midnight, so I packed the girlies and Jack in the van and we headed for Grammaland.
First we went to Uncle Stu and Aunt Kathryn's, where Jack had the most epic diaper ever. It was so bad that we put him in the shower with Uncle Stu to hose him off (Uncle Stu had been working out when we arrived, so he was getting ready for the day). Fortunately Jack loves the shower which is funny, because the girlies always acted like we were waterboarding them when we tried to shower with them. Jack, on the other hand, hates the bath. Can't say that I blame him. It looks cold. I hate to admit this, but the outfit he had on when the hazmat event occurred was so gross by the time I got home that I just pitched it! It was almost too small, anyway, and it just didn't seem sensible to try to deal with the stain. He has more than enough clothes. I guess I am not frugal.
Speaking of not frugal, the girls decided what they want for Christmas:
If Kelly and Ian are my first cousins, are they my kids' second cousins, or are they first cousins once removed? Genealogy is both confusing and difficult to spell (it should have an o before the l, shouldn't it? Isn't the suffix "ology," not just "logy"?) (Wikipedia is confusing, but I think they're first cousins once removed). I got some cute pictures. This is the longest I've ever seen Ian hold still:
Kathryn says, "Just you wait!"
We all went to Red Robin for lunch
...then we went to Uncle Stu's museum.
How cool is that? Clyde McMillan was my Papa - my mother's father. I've always been so proud of my family. My favorite part of the museum was the mural by the stairs (not shown in the video) where there's a painting of my Uncle Stu looking out a window, and a painting of my Papa as a young man, headed toward the pole (and yes, you can slide down the pole). Somehow I didn't get a picture of it. This one is from the artist's website.
The kids had a fun time posing for pictures on the fire truck:
After the museum we visited Mimi at work, then we went to Grandma Susan's house for a visit. The girls had a great time playing with the toys there. I had to put the crayons from the new box of 64 in spectral order, which Grandma Susan thought was very weird. It wasn't long before the girlies dumped out the box of crayons and messed up the order. I tried not to get mad.
Uncle Chuck came over when he got done teaching, and we hung out for a while.
Then I took the girls to visit Grandma Denna at work before we headed back home. All three kids fell asleep in the car on the way home, which was nothing short of a miracle.
I was so tired that I went to bed as soon as I got the kids settled for the night.
I hope you had a fun April Fools Day too!
First we went to Uncle Stu and Aunt Kathryn's, where Jack had the most epic diaper ever. It was so bad that we put him in the shower with Uncle Stu to hose him off (Uncle Stu had been working out when we arrived, so he was getting ready for the day). Fortunately Jack loves the shower which is funny, because the girlies always acted like we were waterboarding them when we tried to shower with them. Jack, on the other hand, hates the bath. Can't say that I blame him. It looks cold. I hate to admit this, but the outfit he had on when the hazmat event occurred was so gross by the time I got home that I just pitched it! It was almost too small, anyway, and it just didn't seem sensible to try to deal with the stain. He has more than enough clothes. I guess I am not frugal.
Speaking of not frugal, the girls decided what they want for Christmas:
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| I know how to iPad, Mommy. |
If Kelly and Ian are my first cousins, are they my kids' second cousins, or are they first cousins once removed? Genealogy is both confusing and difficult to spell (it should have an o before the l, shouldn't it? Isn't the suffix "ology," not just "logy"?) (Wikipedia is confusing, but I think they're first cousins once removed). I got some cute pictures. This is the longest I've ever seen Ian hold still:
Kathryn says, "Just you wait!"
We all went to Red Robin for lunch
 |
How cool is that? Clyde McMillan was my Papa - my mother's father. I've always been so proud of my family. My favorite part of the museum was the mural by the stairs (not shown in the video) where there's a painting of my Uncle Stu looking out a window, and a painting of my Papa as a young man, headed toward the pole (and yes, you can slide down the pole). Somehow I didn't get a picture of it. This one is from the artist's website.
The kids had a fun time posing for pictures on the fire truck:
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| Hang on, Claire! I'll drive! |
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| These are my grandparents. This picture makes me wonder if there will ever be portraits of us in our company's corporate headquarters someday. And it makes me wonder if my grandparents knew what they were starting when they were my age. Probably not! |
After the museum we visited Mimi at work, then we went to Grandma Susan's house for a visit. The girls had a great time playing with the toys there. I had to put the crayons from the new box of 64 in spectral order, which Grandma Susan thought was very weird. It wasn't long before the girlies dumped out the box of crayons and messed up the order. I tried not to get mad.
Uncle Chuck came over when he got done teaching, and we hung out for a while.
Then I took the girls to visit Grandma Denna at work before we headed back home. All three kids fell asleep in the car on the way home, which was nothing short of a miracle.
I was so tired that I went to bed as soon as I got the kids settled for the night.
I hope you had a fun April Fools Day too!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Official Soccer Mom
Today marks my entry into the official world of Soccer-Mom-dom. I am a real Soccer Mom. I have to bring snack and everything. Behold:
That's Jack hiding under there. I was trying to keep him warm. I probably roasted his little butt.
Here's Mary Grace, in between the times she yelled, "Look Mommy! I'm playing soccer!!" while completely not watching the ball:
(Crappy pictures courtesy of Daddy's iPhone, via Facebook, because I'm too lazy to go out to the car to get the camera. Also I've had some wine. She's the one in the black pants with the ponytail - the only girl on her team tonight, but one more should be coming to the next practice).
It has become clear that she gets her athletic ability from me. Poor kid. Also, giving her the name of "Grace" was probably unkind. Perhaps it's not too late to change it to "Mary Alice." Her homework bin at school says that, anyway, so we wouldn't have to change everything.
The highlight of the practice was when the kid named Diego got the ball and Mary Grace yelled, "Go Diego, go!" Probably the first of many times he'll hear that.
Claire is very jealous and doesn't understand why she has to wait until she's 5 to play soccer. I told her that it's because most 4 year olds aren't as good at following directions as she is, and then I told her to unload the dishwasher. She's like Cinderella.
Someone needs to tell Indiana that it's in Indiana, and they need to move soccer season back a month. Seriously. No one should be forced to sit outside and watch kids kick a ball for an hour when it's 40 degrees outside.
Also, Jack has been completely fussy and a crappy sleeper yesterday and today, and I am most tired of it. I finally get him to sleep, put him down, and he wakes up again and is awake for hours. Maybe the wine will help. Or rum.
Also, when I've had wine I write like Junie B. Jones.
Sometimes I can't even remember who I was before I had kids.
That's Jack hiding under there. I was trying to keep him warm. I probably roasted his little butt.
Here's Mary Grace, in between the times she yelled, "Look Mommy! I'm playing soccer!!" while completely not watching the ball:
(Crappy pictures courtesy of Daddy's iPhone, via Facebook, because I'm too lazy to go out to the car to get the camera. Also I've had some wine. She's the one in the black pants with the ponytail - the only girl on her team tonight, but one more should be coming to the next practice).
It has become clear that she gets her athletic ability from me. Poor kid. Also, giving her the name of "Grace" was probably unkind. Perhaps it's not too late to change it to "Mary Alice." Her homework bin at school says that, anyway, so we wouldn't have to change everything.
The highlight of the practice was when the kid named Diego got the ball and Mary Grace yelled, "Go Diego, go!" Probably the first of many times he'll hear that.
Claire is very jealous and doesn't understand why she has to wait until she's 5 to play soccer. I told her that it's because most 4 year olds aren't as good at following directions as she is, and then I told her to unload the dishwasher. She's like Cinderella.
Someone needs to tell Indiana that it's in Indiana, and they need to move soccer season back a month. Seriously. No one should be forced to sit outside and watch kids kick a ball for an hour when it's 40 degrees outside.
Also, Jack has been completely fussy and a crappy sleeper yesterday and today, and I am most tired of it. I finally get him to sleep, put him down, and he wakes up again and is awake for hours. Maybe the wine will help. Or rum.
Also, when I've had wine I write like Junie B. Jones.
Sometimes I can't even remember who I was before I had kids.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Recovery
Everyone has been much better today (except me, I'm worse, but I'll suck it up), so we actually went out for lunch (Steak & Shake - the shake felt good going down but it sure didn't help my cough!), and to Best Buy to look at printers for BJ. The kids were pretty excited to get out of the house for a change. Then we stopped at Grandpa Bob's new house (just six doors down the street!) and visited for a while. BJ hooked up Grandpa's DVD player. I got tired and we came home, but Claire opted to stay. We're going to try that new Mongolian Barbecue style place for dinner with Grandpa in about half an hour, so now that my hot tea is gone, I'm going to close my eyes for a bit.
Thanks, Facebook friends, for keeping me laughing yesterday! It really helped! If we're not yet Facebook friends, shoot me an e-mail with your link and I'll friend you as long as you aren't one of my creepy ex-boyfriends from high school. :)
Thanks, Facebook friends, for keeping me laughing yesterday! It really helped! If we're not yet Facebook friends, shoot me an e-mail with your link and I'll friend you as long as you aren't one of my creepy ex-boyfriends from high school. :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Dinner with Santa
When we arrived, they seated us with a Christmas ornament craft. It was a Christmas tree with sticker ornaments. Then we went up to tell Santa what we want for Christmas. MG drew a picture for him, which I thought was so sweet. After that, there was a nice buffet dinner. The best part, though, was the dancing. A woman played the keyboard and sang Christmas songs - Santa even danced with the kids for one song. He must have been hot in that suit! It was a great time.
I clouded up because my Papa and my uncles used to take me to the Kiwanis Lunch with Santa, and I was about MG's age the last time I went with Papa. Being there with my own kids was a real "circle of life" moment, and it brought back that memory (one of the few authentic memories of him that I have - he died when I was 6) so clearly. I told one of the waitresses, as I choked up, that attending Dinner with Santa was one of the best things we ever did. She must have thought I was nuts!
Anyway, if you're local you'll know what LBC is (e-mail me if you don't), and if you have kids I HIGHLY recommend that you go next year. It was only $5 for kids and $13 for adults - what a deal! It's definitely going to be a Pretty Baby Family Tradition.
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| Later, this boy gave his big candy cane to Claire. She's already a heartbreaker at age 3! |
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| SO excited to dance with Santa!! |
Thursday, December 9, 2010
It could be a long month...
My Uncle Doug called me today, for no particular reason, just cause he was thinking about me. He mentioned that he thought today might be The Big Day.
I didn't tell him that I had passed some mucus earlier in the day, because uncles don't want to hear about mucus (now that I think about it, you probably don't either... I promise that's the last time I'll mention it). I also didn't mention that I'd been having some interesting tightenings - not necessarily real contractions because they weren't painful, but they were making it hard to breathe. And I'd been super emotional all day. And my back hurt like crazy last night, and I made BJ rub it forever...
Hmmm...
Around 2:30 pm I started paying a bit more attention to these tightenings. I noticed that they were coming at even intervals - about every 12 minutes. I chatted to BJ, "ummmm... I think maybe you should come home..." He took a wait and see approach. When I was able to predict when it would happen within 2 minutes based on the timing of the last two, I said, "do you think you should come home?" "I'm already gathering my stuff," he said.
I called the midwife's office and described everything that had been happening. "Can you get here by 3:30?" they said. "Yes, I can make that happen..."
I called my friend Karen, but she didn't answer her phone, so I called our friends down the street and they agreed to take the kids for us. I started gathering my hospital bag, my make up bag, my "oh shit, we're having this baby on the highway" bag (which contains a blanket, a shower curtain, two towels, and two receiving blankets), the cord blood collection kit (we're donating our cord blood for Huntington's Disease research), and my purse. I even remembered the camera and the charger - there's a first time for everything! I grabbed my cell phone charger just as our neighbor arrived to get the girls and BJ got home a few minutes after that.
We called BJ's mom and my mom and sister from the road and told them to be on high alert. We made it to the midwife's office in excellent time, without a police escort and/or paramedics.
The midwife checked me.
No change since Tuesday.
Still at 3 cm and 80%.
I'm trying not to feel silly, because I did have several good reasons to think things might be happening, and because it's better to get checked and be sent home than to have the baby unassisted at home (actually, our friend down the street - the one who took the kids - is a postpartum nurse, so she's totally qualified to help me birth this baby if it comes down to it). It was an excellent dress rehearsal. I stayed remarkably calm in the face of what I thought might be imminent labor and a couple of things-that-didn't-go-according-to-plan. BJ stayed calm too, but he's always calm.
It was a good trial run. There's no reason to feel silly.
But it's going to be a long month.
I didn't tell him that I had passed some mucus earlier in the day, because uncles don't want to hear about mucus (now that I think about it, you probably don't either... I promise that's the last time I'll mention it). I also didn't mention that I'd been having some interesting tightenings - not necessarily real contractions because they weren't painful, but they were making it hard to breathe. And I'd been super emotional all day. And my back hurt like crazy last night, and I made BJ rub it forever...
Hmmm...
Around 2:30 pm I started paying a bit more attention to these tightenings. I noticed that they were coming at even intervals - about every 12 minutes. I chatted to BJ, "ummmm... I think maybe you should come home..." He took a wait and see approach. When I was able to predict when it would happen within 2 minutes based on the timing of the last two, I said, "do you think you should come home?" "I'm already gathering my stuff," he said.
I called the midwife's office and described everything that had been happening. "Can you get here by 3:30?" they said. "Yes, I can make that happen..."
I called my friend Karen, but she didn't answer her phone, so I called our friends down the street and they agreed to take the kids for us. I started gathering my hospital bag, my make up bag, my "oh shit, we're having this baby on the highway" bag (which contains a blanket, a shower curtain, two towels, and two receiving blankets), the cord blood collection kit (we're donating our cord blood for Huntington's Disease research), and my purse. I even remembered the camera and the charger - there's a first time for everything! I grabbed my cell phone charger just as our neighbor arrived to get the girls and BJ got home a few minutes after that.
We called BJ's mom and my mom and sister from the road and told them to be on high alert. We made it to the midwife's office in excellent time, without a police escort and/or paramedics.
The midwife checked me.
No change since Tuesday.
Still at 3 cm and 80%.
I'm trying not to feel silly, because I did have several good reasons to think things might be happening, and because it's better to get checked and be sent home than to have the baby unassisted at home (actually, our friend down the street - the one who took the kids - is a postpartum nurse, so she's totally qualified to help me birth this baby if it comes down to it). It was an excellent dress rehearsal. I stayed remarkably calm in the face of what I thought might be imminent labor and a couple of things-that-didn't-go-according-to-plan. BJ stayed calm too, but he's always calm.
It was a good trial run. There's no reason to feel silly.
But it's going to be a long month.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Outing
Yesterday I managed to draw upon some reserve of energy that I didn't know existed (which was mostly composed of guilt), and I took the kids to the Children's Museum after school.
You should have seen me going down the holiday slide with Claire on my lap. I thought we were going to go careening into the cafeteria.
Mary Grace's favorite activity was "ice skating" in her socks on what looked like a big piece of whiteboard. Claire's was making dresses for our Barbies. Mine was sitting down. Often. Luckily it wasn't crowded at all, so I could position myself at the front of each room and let them roam around. They know better than to leave an area without me, which makes things a lot easier, too.
We managed to stay until 5:00. I was the last person down the slide. The kids went down first without me. Fortunately I looked funny enough that they stuck around to see if I'd be able to get back up at the bottom. I was able, but it wasn't graceful.
The first real snow of the year is falling now. The driving was terrible this morning. I guess no one expected it to stick. When BJ came home for lunch he got the Christmas tree out and assembled, and the girls and I are going to fluff up the branches so that we can decorate it when he gets home. I have a pot roast in the crock pot, which is good, because I'm not likely to have the energy to cook later.
I guess as long as I take advantage of the good days, I can give myself permission to crash on the tired days, right? I'm really ready to be all done with this pregnancy. 35 weeks today. Post your guesses for gender, height, weight, and most importantly BIRTHDAY in the comments!
You should have seen me going down the holiday slide with Claire on my lap. I thought we were going to go careening into the cafeteria.
Mary Grace's favorite activity was "ice skating" in her socks on what looked like a big piece of whiteboard. Claire's was making dresses for our Barbies. Mine was sitting down. Often. Luckily it wasn't crowded at all, so I could position myself at the front of each room and let them roam around. They know better than to leave an area without me, which makes things a lot easier, too.
 |
| We can totally paint the bunkbeds like this... |
The first real snow of the year is falling now. The driving was terrible this morning. I guess no one expected it to stick. When BJ came home for lunch he got the Christmas tree out and assembled, and the girls and I are going to fluff up the branches so that we can decorate it when he gets home. I have a pot roast in the crock pot, which is good, because I'm not likely to have the energy to cook later.
I guess as long as I take advantage of the good days, I can give myself permission to crash on the tired days, right? I'm really ready to be all done with this pregnancy. 35 weeks today. Post your guesses for gender, height, weight, and most importantly BIRTHDAY in the comments!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Damnit Disney!
Mary Grace had to miss going to see Lucy and Jane when she had strep/scarlet fever, so we promised her that we'd take the four of them to see Tangled this weekend, instead.
Apparently Disney has been listening to my complaints about the princesses all these years, because this movie fixed so many of my previous princess beefs... There may be spoilers ahead, so if you don't want the movie spoiled, you may want to save this post to read later.
1) Ariel beef - Ariel has to give up everything she knows - her home, her family, even her voice! - to be with her beloved Eric, even though she's never even spoken to him.
Tangled Fix - not only do Rapunzel and Flynn actually get to know each other before they fall in love (gasp!), but instead of closing her off from her world and making her give up everything she knows, Flynn actually helps open the world up for Rapunzel.
2) Sleeping Beauty beef - Aurora sits around in a coma waiting for someone to come save her.
Tangled Fix - Rapunzel kicks ass and saves herself. And then she saves the guy.
3) Jasmine beef - Jasmine's worth is measured by her marriageability.
Tangled Fix - No one even talks about marriage until the very, very end of the movie.
4) Snow White beef - Snow White's worth is measured by her beauty.
Tangled Fix - While Rapunzel is beautiful, it's not the main focus of her character. There's a lot more to her than looks. In the beginning there's a whole song about all the things she can do. A princess who does things? Woah.
Mary Grace did get scared at the end (I don't want to spoil it too much, so I won't tell you which scene, but it was brief. Not brief enough that she didn't demand to leave the theater, but it was brief), but she's particularly sensitive to scary stories and images. I think that Tangled would be fine for your average 5 year old. Claire did fine.
Of course, it's Disney, so there are still Mommy issues... But Rapunzel's real parents are kind and loving and alive. Actually, much of the movie can be interpreted as an indictment of helicopter parents, which gives the movie another layer to like and appreciate.
I've been lying to my kids since birth, telling them that princesses get to be princesses because they're good at math and science (if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?), but for a change, I don't feel like I need to lie about a princess. Rapunzel can stand on her own. It's a great movie with a great message, and just one scary part. I can't believe that Disney is abandoning the princess thing, just when they've finally gotten it right.
And now we're going to go build the girlies castle loft beds. Stay tuned for pictures, it's going to be awesome!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
What I Learned On My Summer Vacation
No one wants to hear every excruciating detail of our trip to Nashville and Huntsville, but I did learn several things which might prove useful to you on your next road trip.
1) Take a picture of the stove and all the knobs that are in the "off" position so that you don't have to come back and check the stove twice after you've left the house (yes, I really did). Ditto the garage door. I've started telling the kids, "When Mommy asks you in 5 minutes if the garage door is down, tell me yes, ok, because it's down. See?"
2) ALWAYS take blankets and pillows in the car to encourage napping.
3) The Happy Meal-sized Toy Story figurines that I got at Walmart were the hit of the trip, and resulted in a lot of excellent car behavior - I got each kid a set to discourage fighting. They've been playing with them ever since I gave them the toys on Tuesday morning. If your kids are into a particular movie or character, getting them small toys that they can play with in the car might just save your sanity, too! I also took a cookie sheet (the jelly roll sort with sides) for each kid, so they'd have a hard surface to color on in the car, and the lip of the pan held their crayons so I didn't have to dig them out of the crevices of the car quite as often. Did you know that if you leave crayons in the car during the day in Nashville, they'll melt? I've figured this out, so you don't have to!
4) If I had made a list, I wouldn't have forgotten our toothbrushes and toothpaste. Replacing them at the hotel cost $13 (for 3 square headed old-school toothbrushes and a travel-sized toothpaste - highway robbery!).
5) If you have the option, stay at an Embassy Suites. It's affordable (ours was $129 a night + taxes and parking), and you get two rooms, so once you get the kids to bed, you can sit in the outer room and watch TV, check e-mail, speak in a normal voice, turn on lights, etc. This makes a trip with children MUCH more pleasant. Also, they provide a free hot breakfast (not just stale rolls and old fruit, we're talking about made-to-order omelets and eggs, bacon, potatoes, waffles, etc.). The breakfast alone probably saved us $25 a day. Plus, all the people were super friendly, and it was really clean. We've stayed in the same hotel before, and I love it. I can't imagine staying anywhere else. (P.S. No one paid me or compensated me in any way for plugging Embassy Suites - I'm just a very satisfied customer who wants to share her experience, that's it. Although if the Embassy Suites people want to compensate me, I'll be happy to accept free stays at their hotels! :) )
6) If your dog is a nervous shedder and you're boarding her, ask them to brush her a couple times so you don't get a pound of dog fur in your car when you pick her up.
7) Road trip algebra: 2SC + 1PL + 3m/3D = 2M
Where SC = small child
PL = pregnant lady
m = museum
D = day
M = Much
(In other words, two small children plus one pregnant lady plus three museums over three days is too much!)
8) Save a fortune on "in room entertainment" by bringing your own laptop and streaming movies over the wifi. We watched a couple episodes of Dollhouse on BJ's laptop after the kids went to bed instead of watching TV. We have a wireless 3G aircard, but it would've worked just fine over the hotel's wifi, too.
9) Take a break. My favorite memory of this trip, aside from hanging out with our college friends, is the fun the girls had feeding the fish and the birds that live in the canal behind our hotel. Vacation doesn't have to mean that you run around like crazy people doing and seeing everything. Sometimes the best moments are the simple (and free!) ones.
10) Don't get into arguments with cab drivers, but if you do, remember that their boss's number is printed in large numbers on the back of their car.
1) Take a picture of the stove and all the knobs that are in the "off" position so that you don't have to come back and check the stove twice after you've left the house (yes, I really did). Ditto the garage door. I've started telling the kids, "When Mommy asks you in 5 minutes if the garage door is down, tell me yes, ok, because it's down. See?"
2) ALWAYS take blankets and pillows in the car to encourage napping.
3) The Happy Meal-sized Toy Story figurines that I got at Walmart were the hit of the trip, and resulted in a lot of excellent car behavior - I got each kid a set to discourage fighting. They've been playing with them ever since I gave them the toys on Tuesday morning. If your kids are into a particular movie or character, getting them small toys that they can play with in the car might just save your sanity, too! I also took a cookie sheet (the jelly roll sort with sides) for each kid, so they'd have a hard surface to color on in the car, and the lip of the pan held their crayons so I didn't have to dig them out of the crevices of the car quite as often. Did you know that if you leave crayons in the car during the day in Nashville, they'll melt? I've figured this out, so you don't have to!
4) If I had made a list, I wouldn't have forgotten our toothbrushes and toothpaste. Replacing them at the hotel cost $13 (for 3 square headed old-school toothbrushes and a travel-sized toothpaste - highway robbery!).
5) If you have the option, stay at an Embassy Suites. It's affordable (ours was $129 a night + taxes and parking), and you get two rooms, so once you get the kids to bed, you can sit in the outer room and watch TV, check e-mail, speak in a normal voice, turn on lights, etc. This makes a trip with children MUCH more pleasant. Also, they provide a free hot breakfast (not just stale rolls and old fruit, we're talking about made-to-order omelets and eggs, bacon, potatoes, waffles, etc.). The breakfast alone probably saved us $25 a day. Plus, all the people were super friendly, and it was really clean. We've stayed in the same hotel before, and I love it. I can't imagine staying anywhere else. (P.S. No one paid me or compensated me in any way for plugging Embassy Suites - I'm just a very satisfied customer who wants to share her experience, that's it. Although if the Embassy Suites people want to compensate me, I'll be happy to accept free stays at their hotels! :) )
6) If your dog is a nervous shedder and you're boarding her, ask them to brush her a couple times so you don't get a pound of dog fur in your car when you pick her up.
7) Road trip algebra: 2SC + 1PL + 3m/3D = 2M
Where SC = small child
PL = pregnant lady
m = museum
D = day
M = Much
(In other words, two small children plus one pregnant lady plus three museums over three days is too much!)
8) Save a fortune on "in room entertainment" by bringing your own laptop and streaming movies over the wifi. We watched a couple episodes of Dollhouse on BJ's laptop after the kids went to bed instead of watching TV. We have a wireless 3G aircard, but it would've worked just fine over the hotel's wifi, too.
9) Take a break. My favorite memory of this trip, aside from hanging out with our college friends, is the fun the girls had feeding the fish and the birds that live in the canal behind our hotel. Vacation doesn't have to mean that you run around like crazy people doing and seeing everything. Sometimes the best moments are the simple (and free!) ones.
10) Don't get into arguments with cab drivers, but if you do, remember that their boss's number is printed in large numbers on the back of their car.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Paparazzi
I took the kids to the city pool today because it's hotter than blue blazes outside (whatever that means) and we were bored.
I sat them on the edge of the "big pool" where neither of them can touch the bottom unless their faces are in the water, and they took turns coming in the water with me and floating around for a few minutes. At one point I had them both up there, and we were all splashing each other.
"Excuse me," said a skinny woman with an enormous camera, "I'm from the local paper and we're doing a story about the heat. I got a picture of you splashing with your kids and we may run it early next week. Can I get your names?"
But what I heard was, "Everyone in town is going to see you and your enormous ass in that swimsuit that you bought at Walmart, hot stuff."
Like an idiot, I gave her our names.
I'm never leaving the house again.
I sat them on the edge of the "big pool" where neither of them can touch the bottom unless their faces are in the water, and they took turns coming in the water with me and floating around for a few minutes. At one point I had them both up there, and we were all splashing each other.
"Excuse me," said a skinny woman with an enormous camera, "I'm from the local paper and we're doing a story about the heat. I got a picture of you splashing with your kids and we may run it early next week. Can I get your names?"
But what I heard was, "Everyone in town is going to see you and your enormous ass in that swimsuit that you bought at Walmart, hot stuff."
Like an idiot, I gave her our names.
I'm never leaving the house again.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Beyond Tired
Someone is going to have to invent a new word for how tired I am right now. Ho.... ly.... crap!
(This post doesn't promise to be my best writing. If I weren't so frigging tired I would go google one of my better posts and put a link to it here, but I'm too tired to give a damn. I can write when I want to. Tonight, I don't want to. You can't make me).
We hit the ground running this morning, getting out of the house and to my friend Jenny's by like 9:15, maybe 9:20 because I had to get gas. This wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't watched the 24 finale and the Lost Jimmy Kimmel show with BJ, so we were up pretty late. And getting the kids out of the house is kind of like herding cats, so 9:20 is an impressive arrival time for a friend's house across town. I'm well aware that by that time of morning, some people are halfway done with their shift at work. Those people are not me.
We got to Jenny's, then hopped in her van and headed for the Children's Museum. We stayed there, having a blast, until 3:00 or so, when we decided that the baby, Miles, had had enough and needed to get in the car and sleep a while.
The girls and I stayed and played at Jenny's for a bit, then we went to the store because we were completely out of food. If I hadn't bought food, it would've been a disaster (on several levels, keep reading).
The girls were amazingly good at the museum and in the car and at the store. It was seriously one of our best days. Yay!
Well, I get home with the groceries, and I'm getting ready to make MG's favorite, spaghetti, for dinner. I open up the deep freezer (you know, the one that's supposedly "frost free") to put away the groceries, and the stuff in the door is completely thawed. The only reason the stuff inside is still frozen is because it's encased in (rapidly melting) blocks of ice.
Awesome.
If I hadn't bought food tonight, though, the entire contents of the freezer would've been destroyed by tomorrow, so it could've been worse. It was pretty bad as it was, but we didn't lose more than a few things - some old popsicles and old bran cereal for making muffins, a single package of beef, and a half a box of frozen egg rolls. Compared to the 1/4 beef, two chickens, one turkey, four pizzas, and half a dozen bags of frozen vegetables that it could've been, I'll call it a win for today.
So, instead of starting dinner, I start trying to chip away at the glacier growing in my freezer. I pulled out as much of the food as I could put in the cooler that I could find, and went at it with the windshield scraper. I was getting frostbite on my hands (on a 90 degree day) when BJ came home and took over (with a blow torch) so I could put away the other food and make supper.
Well, in my infinite wisdom I decided that it was too late to make spaghetti, so I made the frozen pasta/veg/chicken Bertolli thing I got, instead.
I did not consult MG.
Spaghetti is her favorite.
I had already told her that we could have spaghetti for dinner. In fact, in the car on the way to the store I had said, "What sounds good for dinner?" and she said, "Spaghetti," and I said, "Sure, and she said, "Hooray!!!"
When she realized that we weren't having her favorite, she started to melt down, so I gave myself a time out.
Hey, at that point I needed a rest, anyway.
She came over to the stairs where I was sitting and we talked about how I didn't mean to disappoint her, and how I was sorry I hadn't talked to her about changing dinner when I had told her that we were having spaghetti, and that I had a good reason for making the other thing instead (I didn't have time to make spaghetti before bedtime, anymore, because of the freezer), and that reason wasn't that I was trying to drive her nuts, and that I was really sorry and I'd try not to disappoint her with pasta again.
Would you believe that giving myself a time out and talking about how "Mommy made a mistake" ACTUALLY WORKED??? The meltdown that was coming was epic - she was sobbing. I could've been all, "Suck it up, it's just pasta..." and gotten into a power struggle, but I had promised her spaghetti, and she had been really good and earned a favorite, and I had asked her for her opinion on what we should have for supper, and it was unfair of me to change it on her at the last minute, regardless of my reasoning. By seeing it from her point of view, and realizing that it was something that I would give her a time out for had the situation been reversed (if she says she's going to do one thing and does another, sometimes it's time out worthy), I could see my way through to solving the problem. The rest of the evening was fine.
Empathy in parenting - what a concept!
It makes me wonder how many of her meltdowns happen because she doesn't feel understood. Because this one stopped cold when she understood that I DID understand how she felt, and that I was sorry I'd disappointed her.
I'm going to try to remember this.
So Grandpa helped BJ move the furniture so we can get new carpet (!!!!) tomorrow, and then we put the girls to bed and I caught up on my blogs and here we are.
And I'm exhausted. I can't figure out if that's why I have a sore throat, or if it's something more ominous...
(This post doesn't promise to be my best writing. If I weren't so frigging tired I would go google one of my better posts and put a link to it here, but I'm too tired to give a damn. I can write when I want to. Tonight, I don't want to. You can't make me).
We hit the ground running this morning, getting out of the house and to my friend Jenny's by like 9:15, maybe 9:20 because I had to get gas. This wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't watched the 24 finale and the Lost Jimmy Kimmel show with BJ, so we were up pretty late. And getting the kids out of the house is kind of like herding cats, so 9:20 is an impressive arrival time for a friend's house across town. I'm well aware that by that time of morning, some people are halfway done with their shift at work. Those people are not me.
We got to Jenny's, then hopped in her van and headed for the Children's Museum. We stayed there, having a blast, until 3:00 or so, when we decided that the baby, Miles, had had enough and needed to get in the car and sleep a while.
The girls and I stayed and played at Jenny's for a bit, then we went to the store because we were completely out of food. If I hadn't bought food, it would've been a disaster (on several levels, keep reading).
The girls were amazingly good at the museum and in the car and at the store. It was seriously one of our best days. Yay!
Well, I get home with the groceries, and I'm getting ready to make MG's favorite, spaghetti, for dinner. I open up the deep freezer (you know, the one that's supposedly "frost free") to put away the groceries, and the stuff in the door is completely thawed. The only reason the stuff inside is still frozen is because it's encased in (rapidly melting) blocks of ice.
Awesome.
If I hadn't bought food tonight, though, the entire contents of the freezer would've been destroyed by tomorrow, so it could've been worse. It was pretty bad as it was, but we didn't lose more than a few things - some old popsicles and old bran cereal for making muffins, a single package of beef, and a half a box of frozen egg rolls. Compared to the 1/4 beef, two chickens, one turkey, four pizzas, and half a dozen bags of frozen vegetables that it could've been, I'll call it a win for today.
So, instead of starting dinner, I start trying to chip away at the glacier growing in my freezer. I pulled out as much of the food as I could put in the cooler that I could find, and went at it with the windshield scraper. I was getting frostbite on my hands (on a 90 degree day) when BJ came home and took over (with a blow torch) so I could put away the other food and make supper.
Well, in my infinite wisdom I decided that it was too late to make spaghetti, so I made the frozen pasta/veg/chicken Bertolli thing I got, instead.
I did not consult MG.
Spaghetti is her favorite.
I had already told her that we could have spaghetti for dinner. In fact, in the car on the way to the store I had said, "What sounds good for dinner?" and she said, "Spaghetti," and I said, "Sure, and she said, "Hooray!!!"
When she realized that we weren't having her favorite, she started to melt down, so I gave myself a time out.
Hey, at that point I needed a rest, anyway.
She came over to the stairs where I was sitting and we talked about how I didn't mean to disappoint her, and how I was sorry I hadn't talked to her about changing dinner when I had told her that we were having spaghetti, and that I had a good reason for making the other thing instead (I didn't have time to make spaghetti before bedtime, anymore, because of the freezer), and that reason wasn't that I was trying to drive her nuts, and that I was really sorry and I'd try not to disappoint her with pasta again.
Would you believe that giving myself a time out and talking about how "Mommy made a mistake" ACTUALLY WORKED??? The meltdown that was coming was epic - she was sobbing. I could've been all, "Suck it up, it's just pasta..." and gotten into a power struggle, but I had promised her spaghetti, and she had been really good and earned a favorite, and I had asked her for her opinion on what we should have for supper, and it was unfair of me to change it on her at the last minute, regardless of my reasoning. By seeing it from her point of view, and realizing that it was something that I would give her a time out for had the situation been reversed (if she says she's going to do one thing and does another, sometimes it's time out worthy), I could see my way through to solving the problem. The rest of the evening was fine.
Empathy in parenting - what a concept!
It makes me wonder how many of her meltdowns happen because she doesn't feel understood. Because this one stopped cold when she understood that I DID understand how she felt, and that I was sorry I'd disappointed her.
I'm going to try to remember this.
So Grandpa helped BJ move the furniture so we can get new carpet (!!!!) tomorrow, and then we put the girls to bed and I caught up on my blogs and here we are.
And I'm exhausted. I can't figure out if that's why I have a sore throat, or if it's something more ominous...
Monday, May 17, 2010
What Would You Do?
We went up to Grammaland to celebrate Uncle Chuck's birthday, and there was an incident.
I was sitting on a picnic bench talking to the grownups, and I heard Claire crying. There were at least 50 kids there, so it was kind of awesome - my maternal ears are tuned into my kids so carefully that I heard her over the din and located her. She was at the upper left of this huge thing:
I flew over the recycled tires that make up the "mulch" under the structure, shouting, "That's Claire," over my shoulder. I made it up the stairs and had my arms around her within 15 seconds.
Mary Grace told me that "the big kid in the blue shirt" had pushed her, then pushed Claire, then choked a little boy whose mother also has magic ears and was already there. She looked, and he had angry looking red marks on his collarbone. He was clearly terrified. I think he was about four years old.
The perp, who was clearly much older and bigger, I'm guessing 9 or 10 and 85 to 95 pounds, was up the structure further, being scolded by his own mother. A crowd of wide-eyed kids had gathered to see what happened.
"I'm sorry," explained the mother. "He's autistic. He doesn't know any better. He really tries, but he just doesn't know any better." She made her son apologize to all the kids. He tried to hug the little boy he'd choked, but the little boy wanted none of that. (I watched, and the littler boy's mom tried for 30 minutes to calm him down before giving up and taking him home. He was truly hurt and scared). The perp's mom took him off the play structure and to the car, saying, "You've lost your privilege. You can't hurt children at the park."
She'd been through this before.
I felt compassion for the mom. I also felt terrified for my kids. He was MUCH larger than they are, and they were at the top of a huge flight of stairs, and he could easily have really hurt them.
I went to my car to get my kids, and the kid who got choked, a Kleenex. On the way I noticed that the family of the boy with autism was still sitting in their car. I knocked on the window. "I used to be a special ed teacher," I explained. "I just want you to know, I understand, and I don't have any hard feelings. I hope it gets easier for all of you."
And I could end the story there and sound like the greatest mom on the planet, showing compassion to the poor kid's mom, showing that I understand how hard it is for the boy... I could leave the next part out, because I don't know, honestly, if it's the right thing to do. But this is the part I really want to talk about, so brace yourselves.
On the way home, the kids and I talked about what had happened, and I said, "What if that kid had choked you or Claire? What would you have done?" They said they would have run, and I said, "But if his hands are on your neck, you won't be able to get away, will you? Listen. If a kid ever hurts you, I want you to try to get away and to a grown up. I want you to call for help. But if you can't do those things, I want you to bite him or poke him in the eye."
Oh yes, I did.
Nice girls get hurt. I'm sorry, but it's true and I have proof. Nice girls get forced to do things that they're not ready to do, particularly when they get a little bit older than my kids are now. I am not interested in raising nice girls. I'm raising kids who know how to take care of themselves, and who aren't afraid to stand up for themselves (or their sister). If another kid starts it, I want my kids to finish it.
We went through a couple situations, "If a kid takes a toy from you, can you hurt him?" "YEAH!" they both said (they thought it was funny that Mom was telling them to hurt people). "NO!" I corrected, "ONLY if he hurts you." "If a kid hurts your feelings, can you bite him?" "YEAH!" they both said. "NO! ONLY if he hurts you." "If a kid chokes Claire, Mary Grace, can you bite him?" "YEAH!" she said. "That's right, but you'd better also scream for help." This went on for a while, until I ran out of examples and they got bored.
We're going to have this conversation again, and BJ and I are going to look for a self-defense or martial arts class to get the kids into.
Should I teach my kids to fight to protect themselves? I told BJ on the phone, "If some other kid starts it, I want our kids to end it. And I don't care if they get suspended from school for fighting - if they tell me that it was self-defense, I will back them up."
What would you do?
I was sitting on a picnic bench talking to the grownups, and I heard Claire crying. There were at least 50 kids there, so it was kind of awesome - my maternal ears are tuned into my kids so carefully that I heard her over the din and located her. She was at the upper left of this huge thing:
Mary Grace told me that "the big kid in the blue shirt" had pushed her, then pushed Claire, then choked a little boy whose mother also has magic ears and was already there. She looked, and he had angry looking red marks on his collarbone. He was clearly terrified. I think he was about four years old.
"I'm sorry," explained the mother. "He's autistic. He doesn't know any better. He really tries, but he just doesn't know any better." She made her son apologize to all the kids. He tried to hug the little boy he'd choked, but the little boy wanted none of that. (I watched, and the littler boy's mom tried for 30 minutes to calm him down before giving up and taking him home. He was truly hurt and scared). The perp's mom took him off the play structure and to the car, saying, "You've lost your privilege. You can't hurt children at the park."
She'd been through this before.
I felt compassion for the mom. I also felt terrified for my kids. He was MUCH larger than they are, and they were at the top of a huge flight of stairs, and he could easily have really hurt them.
I went to my car to get my kids, and the kid who got choked, a Kleenex. On the way I noticed that the family of the boy with autism was still sitting in their car. I knocked on the window. "I used to be a special ed teacher," I explained. "I just want you to know, I understand, and I don't have any hard feelings. I hope it gets easier for all of you."
And I could end the story there and sound like the greatest mom on the planet, showing compassion to the poor kid's mom, showing that I understand how hard it is for the boy... I could leave the next part out, because I don't know, honestly, if it's the right thing to do. But this is the part I really want to talk about, so brace yourselves.
On the way home, the kids and I talked about what had happened, and I said, "What if that kid had choked you or Claire? What would you have done?" They said they would have run, and I said, "But if his hands are on your neck, you won't be able to get away, will you? Listen. If a kid ever hurts you, I want you to try to get away and to a grown up. I want you to call for help. But if you can't do those things, I want you to bite him or poke him in the eye."
Oh yes, I did.
We went through a couple situations, "If a kid takes a toy from you, can you hurt him?" "YEAH!" they both said (they thought it was funny that Mom was telling them to hurt people). "NO!" I corrected, "ONLY if he hurts you." "If a kid hurts your feelings, can you bite him?" "YEAH!" they both said. "NO! ONLY if he hurts you." "If a kid chokes Claire, Mary Grace, can you bite him?" "YEAH!" she said. "That's right, but you'd better also scream for help." This went on for a while, until I ran out of examples and they got bored.
We're going to have this conversation again, and BJ and I are going to look for a self-defense or martial arts class to get the kids into.
Should I teach my kids to fight to protect themselves? I told BJ on the phone, "If some other kid starts it, I want our kids to end it. And I don't care if they get suspended from school for fighting - if they tell me that it was self-defense, I will back them up."
What would you do?
Thursday, May 6, 2010
From the Mouths of Dads
I wrote the other day about how our society's screwed up perception of all men as predators hurts men, and ultimately hurts children... Rob commented on that post. I don't want anyone to miss what he said, because this is exactly what I'm talking about. With his permission, here's Rob:
I am in the same situation as BJ - I feel very awkward when coming into contact with other people's children if I do not know their parents really, really well. I volunteer in the church nursery every Sunday and refuse to change diapers because I just don't want to deal with the hassle when we have paid folks in there to do it. The room is often full of children and anywhere from three to seven adults, but I just won't do it. (And it's not just because poop stinks!)This is what I'm talking about. Thanks for taking the time to share your experiences, Rob!
I had direct experience with the “Stranger Danger” feeling on Tuesday night when I took Abby to the mall for dinner, just the two of us. When we were walking through the mall while holding hands I got smiles and “aww, how sweet” comments the whole time. When we went to the playground part of the mall, she shot in well before I did, after throwing her shoes at me. Everyone accepted the child that was running around, but nobody associated her with me.
Strange looks were shot around as soon as I walked into the playground, by myself, and started scoping things out. Every parent took time to scope out where their child was in relation to me. It was palpable, and very awkward. I got Abby’s attention and made her come over and give me a big hug and a quick tickle and all of the sudden I was in conversation with the moms and dads around me.
It was such a change that I noticed it. I guess it’s the first time in a long time that I have taken Abby out by myself to someplace like that.
I don’t have a solution for how to change the perceptions, but I can tell you that they are real, and they affect the way that I choose to do some things now, and that makes me sad.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Red Light/Green Light
Here's a little hack for all you moms out there. We went to the Indianapolis Children's Museum today, and they have a giant 5 story ramp in the middle which, on uncrowded days like today, just screams "RUN DOWN ME! RUN DOWN ME AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!"
Well. Obviously this is awesome, because it makes them tired. But I don't like it when my rugrats get too far away from me, because then I can't see them and I get all anxious. I mean, if they're the length of a quarter of a ramp ahead of me and it's not busy, whatever, but if they're 3 floors down, we have a problem.
Today, instead of yelling, "Stop," which I normally yell, I yelled, "Red light!" and they stopped dead in their tracks! When I got closer I said, "Green light!" and there they went. It was like a game, instead of like me constantly nagging them to do everything, and because it was a game they were much more willing to follow the rules.
I didn't try it, but I might threaten, "you have to stop when I say 'red light' or you LOSE!" next time. They hate losing. I can't imagine where they get that.
So try it on your next outing. It's magic.
Well. Obviously this is awesome, because it makes them tired. But I don't like it when my rugrats get too far away from me, because then I can't see them and I get all anxious. I mean, if they're the length of a quarter of a ramp ahead of me and it's not busy, whatever, but if they're 3 floors down, we have a problem.
Today, instead of yelling, "Stop," which I normally yell, I yelled, "Red light!" and they stopped dead in their tracks! When I got closer I said, "Green light!" and there they went. It was like a game, instead of like me constantly nagging them to do everything, and because it was a game they were much more willing to follow the rules.
I didn't try it, but I might threaten, "you have to stop when I say 'red light' or you LOSE!" next time. They hate losing. I can't imagine where they get that.
So try it on your next outing. It's magic.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Moments To Remember
BJ and Mary Grace are sitting at the kitchen table playing with her LEGO Mindstorms
. Claire and I are sitting at the table too, but doing our own thing. Mary Grace stops, hugs her Daddy and says, "Thank you Daddy. I really love doing this with you."
And Mommy cries.
These are the moments that I want to remember. This is why I'll continue to write. Your kind comments really helped, so thank you. I appreciate the time that all of you spend here, encouraging me and laughing with us as we parent these two amazing kids.
My mom suggested in the comments (or was it on Facebook?) that I tell you the potty training story from the other day. I always hesitate to share potty training stories, because they're inevitably a little gross. This one isn't too bad, mostly funny. It's important to know that our bathrooms are on top of each other in our two story house, and you can hear what's going on in the other one through the vent.
So Claire was having a hard time pooping on the potty, as you might know if we're Facebook friends. She went through a brief phase where she'd go for Mary Grace and she'd go for Daddy, but not for me. Well, the other day I got tired of waiting, so I sent MG in to help Claire. I thought she'd read her the potty book that she has memorized, but instead I heard them talk for a few minutes, and then saw MG go up the stairs. "What in the world...?" I thought. Then I heard Mary Grace yell downstairs, "Claire! I'm going poop right now! Are you going poop too?" And Claire yells back, "Yeah Mary Grace! I pooping too!" and they proceeded to poop together.
I was cracking up!
Only a big sister would think of that, and it would only work on a little sister. Let's hear it for peer pressure!
Speaking of sisters, I realized the other day that I hadn't taken the girls to Grammaland in eons, so today we ran up for the day and went out for dinner with Uncle Trey and Mimi, and then Mimi, the girlies and I went sledding at the sledding hill where we used to always go when we were kids (Forest Park, for locals). It was so much fun! It was right around 32 degrees, maybe a little warmer, so it was slushy at the bottom and Mimi and I both soaked our jeans. The girlies were so brave. And according to Livestrong.com, I burned 300 calories!
Life is good.
. Claire and I are sitting at the table too, but doing our own thing. Mary Grace stops, hugs her Daddy and says, "Thank you Daddy. I really love doing this with you."And Mommy cries.
These are the moments that I want to remember. This is why I'll continue to write. Your kind comments really helped, so thank you. I appreciate the time that all of you spend here, encouraging me and laughing with us as we parent these two amazing kids.
My mom suggested in the comments (or was it on Facebook?) that I tell you the potty training story from the other day. I always hesitate to share potty training stories, because they're inevitably a little gross. This one isn't too bad, mostly funny. It's important to know that our bathrooms are on top of each other in our two story house, and you can hear what's going on in the other one through the vent.
So Claire was having a hard time pooping on the potty, as you might know if we're Facebook friends. She went through a brief phase where she'd go for Mary Grace and she'd go for Daddy, but not for me. Well, the other day I got tired of waiting, so I sent MG in to help Claire. I thought she'd read her the potty book that she has memorized, but instead I heard them talk for a few minutes, and then saw MG go up the stairs. "What in the world...?" I thought. Then I heard Mary Grace yell downstairs, "Claire! I'm going poop right now! Are you going poop too?" And Claire yells back, "Yeah Mary Grace! I pooping too!" and they proceeded to poop together.
I was cracking up!
Only a big sister would think of that, and it would only work on a little sister. Let's hear it for peer pressure!
Speaking of sisters, I realized the other day that I hadn't taken the girls to Grammaland in eons, so today we ran up for the day and went out for dinner with Uncle Trey and Mimi, and then Mimi, the girlies and I went sledding at the sledding hill where we used to always go when we were kids (Forest Park, for locals). It was so much fun! It was right around 32 degrees, maybe a little warmer, so it was slushy at the bottom and Mimi and I both soaked our jeans. The girlies were so brave. And according to Livestrong.com, I burned 300 calories!
Life is good.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Barnes & Noble
Mary Grace had a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble from her birthday. When we went out shopping the other night, we told her that she could choose a book.
She brought back a paperback Barbie Princess book that was only $3.99.
"Honey, this is only four dollars - you have ten! You can afford to get two books like this!" I said, and she scampered off.
A few moments later she came back to BJ and I with a Disney Princess book in her hand. "I chose this book for Claire."
We didn't prompt her. We would've bought Claire a book, anyway, so she didn't go home empty-handed (books are the one thing with which I don't mind spoiling the kids). But Mary Grace noticed that Claire didn't have a gift card, and she got her little sister a book, all on her own.
She has such a kind heart.
(I post this here not to boast, but to record and to remember. Sometimes it's easy to get overwhelmed with the difficult moments, and the sweet gestures are so easily forgotten. Why is it that our minds remember the hard days so much more easily than we remember the good days? Is it part of being a mother, or is it just part of life?)
She brought back a paperback Barbie Princess book that was only $3.99.
"Honey, this is only four dollars - you have ten! You can afford to get two books like this!" I said, and she scampered off.
A few moments later she came back to BJ and I with a Disney Princess book in her hand. "I chose this book for Claire."
We didn't prompt her. We would've bought Claire a book, anyway, so she didn't go home empty-handed (books are the one thing with which I don't mind spoiling the kids). But Mary Grace noticed that Claire didn't have a gift card, and she got her little sister a book, all on her own.
She has such a kind heart.
(I post this here not to boast, but to record and to remember. Sometimes it's easy to get overwhelmed with the difficult moments, and the sweet gestures are so easily forgotten. Why is it that our minds remember the hard days so much more easily than we remember the good days? Is it part of being a mother, or is it just part of life?)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
The thing about post-vacation recaps...
The thing about post-vacation recaps is that they're boring. Unless you were there, you don't want to read about our trip in nauseating detail... "We left home at precisely 8 am, arrived at the airport with plenty of time to grab a latte and play on the people movers..." Yuck. I don't even want to write it, so I know you don't want to read it.
I hope you had fun "following" us via the pictures I posted while we were gone. Some of them were blurry - sorry about that. The iPhone's camera has limits, and does well when things are still but poorly when they're moving. It's hard to see how blurry they are on the phone's screen. I was surprised at just how blurry a couple of them were when I had a chance to see them on a real screen!
I do have a couple of favorite pictures that I'd like to share:
I took this one. Our friend Mandy, from college, and one of her daughters (Kelsey - Morgan was sick and couldn't come. :( ) met us at Seaworld. I took this one of the three girls in the underwater dolphin viewing area (which was one of my favorites - mainly because it was air conditioned).
Mandy took this one. I'm going to have it blown up and framed because I really love it. Kelsey and MG were so cute. They held hands the whole time and were just the best of buddies from the moment they met. I guess Kelsey's been asking her mom if MG can come sleep over ever since we left Seaworld. We're hoping to see them again in a couple weeks when they come north to see family.
MG just looks like a rock star in this one, that I took at Animal Kingdom. Claire was asleep in the stroller at this point.
The Magic Kingdom photos are almost entirely on my cell phone or on the disposable camera we bought because I'm an idiot and I left the battery for the camera in the hotel room that day. I'll get them processed (the 80s called...) and uploaded soon.
MG got sick yesterday at school. At least she waited until we got home from vacation!! When I picked her up, her teacher said she thought MG was tired, but she spiked a fever shortly after we got home and ended up vomiting once. She seems to be over it now. We're staying close to home today, just in case Claire comes down with it too.
Overall, the kids were incredibly good while we were gone. They didn't break anything at my grandma's or at Aunt Roz's house, which was the main thing I was worried about! There was very little screaming on the plane, almost no fighting, and with few exceptions that can easily be chalked up to fatigue or hunger, they were really good. Surprisingly good. I was so proud of them!
If you are going to DisneyWorld, I highly recommend the Nemo Musical and the Lion King shows at the Animal Kingdom. I also recommend the princess lunch at the castle (although it's really expensive!). I recommend not shopping while you're at the parks. We didn't buy anything at the MK, and only bought our Minnie dolls right before we left the AK. Instead, we did the bulk of our shopping at Downtown Disney, which is free. That way, we didn't waste our precious and expensive "park time" shopping, and we didn't have to worry about something getting stolen out of the stroller while we were in a show or on a ride. It worked quite well.
One idea that my dad gave us right after we got married, which I still love, is to buy a Christmas ornament every time we go on vacation. That way when you put up the tree in December, you get a physical reminder to help you remember every vacation you've taken as a family. We got our ornament at Downtown Disney, as well as some Disney themed Mr. Potatohead pieces (MG just loved playing with the Potatoheads!). We also got a gift for Pierre, who housesat for us.
I do wonder how anyone actually lives in Florida - between the bugs and the reptiles and the heat and the humidity and the tolls and the tourists... I couldn't live there. It was so good to get home. It's cold and wet and rainy here, and I couldn't be happier. The leaves are turning, and we've had grilled cheese and soup for lunch, and it feels like October.
It's good to be home.
I hope you had fun "following" us via the pictures I posted while we were gone. Some of them were blurry - sorry about that. The iPhone's camera has limits, and does well when things are still but poorly when they're moving. It's hard to see how blurry they are on the phone's screen. I was surprised at just how blurry a couple of them were when I had a chance to see them on a real screen!
I do have a couple of favorite pictures that I'd like to share:
I took this one. Our friend Mandy, from college, and one of her daughters (Kelsey - Morgan was sick and couldn't come. :( ) met us at Seaworld. I took this one of the three girls in the underwater dolphin viewing area (which was one of my favorites - mainly because it was air conditioned).
Mandy took this one. I'm going to have it blown up and framed because I really love it. Kelsey and MG were so cute. They held hands the whole time and were just the best of buddies from the moment they met. I guess Kelsey's been asking her mom if MG can come sleep over ever since we left Seaworld. We're hoping to see them again in a couple weeks when they come north to see family.
MG just looks like a rock star in this one, that I took at Animal Kingdom. Claire was asleep in the stroller at this point.The Magic Kingdom photos are almost entirely on my cell phone or on the disposable camera we bought because I'm an idiot and I left the battery for the camera in the hotel room that day. I'll get them processed (the 80s called...) and uploaded soon.
MG got sick yesterday at school. At least she waited until we got home from vacation!! When I picked her up, her teacher said she thought MG was tired, but she spiked a fever shortly after we got home and ended up vomiting once. She seems to be over it now. We're staying close to home today, just in case Claire comes down with it too.
Overall, the kids were incredibly good while we were gone. They didn't break anything at my grandma's or at Aunt Roz's house, which was the main thing I was worried about! There was very little screaming on the plane, almost no fighting, and with few exceptions that can easily be chalked up to fatigue or hunger, they were really good. Surprisingly good. I was so proud of them!
If you are going to DisneyWorld, I highly recommend the Nemo Musical and the Lion King shows at the Animal Kingdom. I also recommend the princess lunch at the castle (although it's really expensive!). I recommend not shopping while you're at the parks. We didn't buy anything at the MK, and only bought our Minnie dolls right before we left the AK. Instead, we did the bulk of our shopping at Downtown Disney, which is free. That way, we didn't waste our precious and expensive "park time" shopping, and we didn't have to worry about something getting stolen out of the stroller while we were in a show or on a ride. It worked quite well.
One idea that my dad gave us right after we got married, which I still love, is to buy a Christmas ornament every time we go on vacation. That way when you put up the tree in December, you get a physical reminder to help you remember every vacation you've taken as a family. We got our ornament at Downtown Disney, as well as some Disney themed Mr. Potatohead pieces (MG just loved playing with the Potatoheads!). We also got a gift for Pierre, who housesat for us.
I do wonder how anyone actually lives in Florida - between the bugs and the reptiles and the heat and the humidity and the tolls and the tourists... I couldn't live there. It was so good to get home. It's cold and wet and rainy here, and I couldn't be happier. The leaves are turning, and we've had grilled cheese and soup for lunch, and it feels like October.
It's good to be home.
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