Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Thing About the Mommyblogosphere

When you blog about something you are bound to get comments. Especially if you're a blogger who gets upward of 100 comments on every post. And of those 100+ comments, some people are bound to disagree with you... Especially when you're wrong.

I'm not going to give links or particulars, but I find myself crossways with a "big" Mommyblogger. She let her kid do something dangerous, and posted, "Hey, don't judge me! It's bad when you do it, but when I do it it's peachy!!" Well, guess what. If you're going to put your mistakes out there, in a public space, and allow comments, you are going to get criticism.

You can post about it a second time so all your butt-kissers will comment and tell you how very, very right you are, and how the world - if it doesn't already - really should revolve around you and your precious little snowflakes. You can allow all the comments in the world that are going to tell you what a big awful meanyhead I am, how I have too much time on my hands to criticize others, how I think my own kids' diapers don't stink, how I wouldn't have had the guts to say anything if I had been there in person (ask anyone who knows me in real life - I would've totally said every word I wrote to your face).

You can refuse to acknowledge the fact that I have a different set of experiences than you do, and how I might have simply been trying to point out the dangers of the situation that you didn't think of at the time, and point out helpful alternatives to what you did, so that you can do better next time.

If you blog simply to give your adoring fans an opportunity to tell you how you can do no wrong, you're bound to eventually find that your expectations of the internet are unrealistic. Lord knows I've taken my fair share of flack for decisions I've made (just this week I was "that mom" who was paged overhead at Kohl's for losing her kid! I was also "that mom" whose kid hit her head on the edge of the pool as she was jumping into my arms). It just goes with the territory. It's part of being in public with small, loud, clumsy, uncivilized little people. I would hope that if I posted about something flagrantly stupid that I'd done, my readers would say, "Um, foul!" so that I could do better next time (I've already learned to keep a closer eye on her at Kohl's, and not to let her jump into the pool, folks, so we can skip those!). After all, what's the point if we're not constantly trying to improve ourselves? Without self-reflection and self-improvement blogging - particularly mommyblogging - is simply an excercise in naval gazing and narcissism.

But, I have to say, blocking my comments, unfriending me on Facebook, and unfollowing me on Twitter says more about you, Toots, than it says about me.


Heidi said...

No clue what blog you're talking about, nor do I care (and thanks for being an adult and NOT linking it), but I have two things to say about blogging and commenting on blogs.

One - if you are brave enough to put your life and your decisions out there for public consumption, you better also be brave enough to get called on your s**t. We all make mistakes, but we don't have to make them public. Blogging about the controversial things in our lives is a choice, not a requirement. Can't stand the heat? Get out of the kitchen.

Second - your last sentence is GOLDEN. That blogger's actions speak volumes. What, are we still in junior high - we must "unfriend" people when we don't agree with everything they say? How very juvenile.

Congratulations on standing up for yourself. And keep the comments coming - the blogosphere is a better place because people like you care.

ML said...

OOOooooh! I knew you were one of my favorites!! And either I don't read that other blog or I'm dumber than her and didn't notice the endangerment (not as likely as the former).

Theresa said...

Been following the drama myself, and I agree that she protests too much for someone who doesn't think she did anything wrong.

In the situation she was talking about, I could have left one of those "I never" comments, and been torn to shreds by her readers.

Anonymous said...

I've disagreed with said blogger (are we keeping her name a secret?) in the past (on the redshirting entry, if you're interested) and never got any carryover - still friends on facebook, I don't twitter, but she was friendly and responsive when I emailed her for a recipe. It's probably something more than this particular entry she's responding to if she has actually gone to the trouble of doing all that you said ... just a guess, but obviously I don't know the whole story.

S.T. said...

She blocked me from commenting, too, and deleted one of my very polite comments on that post. Someone has control issues.