Saturday, February 20, 2010

February Brings Blahs

I almost ended this blog the other day when I posted about how I no longer have a baby in the house.  I wrote my goodbye and had BJ read it before I chickened out.


Part of the reason I wanted to blog about the kids' lives is because I have a terrible memory (ask anyone), and I wish I had proof that I could go back and read of where I've been and what I've done.  I always wanted to be a journal-keeper, but I never had the self-discipline.

But I don't feel like the kids' stories are mine to tell, anymore.  They have their own voices.  And while they can't yet type, a part of me feels that they have the right to be the authors of their own lives at this point.  I have the responsibility to relinquish that control to them, at some point.  I don't want them to look back and wonder if they turned out a certain way because that's who they truly are, or if it's because I wrote their character a certain way.

And right now I find myself in the middle of the winter blahs - we've been stuck in the house for decades and the kids are sick every 10 minutes (Claire today, puking.  Yay.) and it just doesn't lend itself to scintillating blog fodder.

I've learned that there are only a few paths to becoming a rich/famous/popular/"A-list" blogger.  I won't name names, but basically you have to either 1) do something first, 2) do it better than anyone else, 3) be a social climber willing to use and manipulate people for your own advancement, 4) or have a personal tragedy.  I certainly wasn't the first mommyblogger to come on the scene, there are plenty of writers more talented, I'm unwilling to use people, and I wouldn't wish a personal tragedy on myself or anyone...  So where does that leave me?  Do I even want to be a "big" blogger?  I don't really think so.

I'm honestly not sure where to go, so I turn to you... My audience.  The people I write for.  What do you want to see me do?  What do you come here to read?  To see?  Should I change course?  Keep at it?  Quit altogether?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Amy, the potty training story you left on my cell phone would be hysterically funny! I think you owe it to the girls to post that one! :)

Anonymous said...

I had a dream last night, before reading your latest blog, that I was laughing until I cried, while reading the book your wrote. Amy, you are incredibly talented. You make me think, laugh and cry. You stir those of us who want to keep up ... who cannot see you in person on any regular basis. Leaving blogging would leave a whole in my heart and life. Remember what you told me when Nichole moved to Denver?... if she has a blog... family and friends can keep up and keep track without her having to email tons of individuals... just one hit and it's done. Pictures, stories, your life shared... makes me feel, somehow, included. I hope you don't give up. It's just February in Indiana. This too shall pass!
xoxox, Connie

Mrs4444 said...

I say do whatever makes you happy. Maybe keep up the blog but keep it private for a while? Who am I kidding? That would be impossible. Maybe instead just write for your children on the computer, but not publicly; that's what I did for more than 15 years, and the result is a treasure.

Michelle said...

I agree with Mrs4444...do what makes you happy! I check your blog almost daily to see what funny and inspiring things you have to say!

RobMonroe said...

I don't look at your blog (or mine, really) as a way to "write a story" so much as I see it to "document" their stories. Sure, the girls have their own voices, but if you think your memory is bad, try to get MG to remember how hard she worked to learn to use the potty.

Maybe now that the girls are getting older you can use it to document both their stories and more of your own. You know that I have two blogs - and I think I need to "cut" Abby's out because the Rob one is much more balanced, and that's something that I'm proud of - balancing my life (even electronically) is important.

My two cents. :o)

chicagogoebel said...

I, for one, appreciate your thoughts on parenting and on life in general. I have actually printed off some of your posts to keep for future reference. :)

I look forward to seeing your stories about the craziness that is 2 kids b/c it gives me a sneak-preview of what my life will be like in a couple of years.

But...you should write for YOU not me. Now that I have your email address I'll just bug you directly w/any questions if you close shop here! :)