Friday, February 26, 2010

Marly Update

"Marly's" mom died this afternoon.  I'll talk to Mary Grace before she goes back to school on Tuesday, but not today.

If anyone has any suggestions for something I could do for Marly (she's four, she doesn't want a casserole or flowers), keeping in mind that she and MG are friends but I don't know her or her family very well, please let me know.  If you know of a book or something, or if you have an idea for a small gift we could leave in her cubby at school... 

I'm completely at a loss.  All I know is that I'm 33, and I'm not ready to lose my mom.  I can't imagine what it must be like to suffer such a loss when you're four.  Please keep this lovely little girl and her family in your hearts.

3 comments:

amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

heart was broken when you talked about this issue on yr blog earlier- now. OMG. I am so sad for this family. I wish I had some goodadvice. I think the only thing I have done is use real terms like someone has died- not passed away... and talk about how much we need to support others. I think a great thing may be cooking some meals or dropping off a gift card to family for meals out. Sending the little girl a soft plush animal or something from your daughter is very good idea too. Oh sweets- life is so hard. My heart is so sad right now. xo

strwberrryjoy said...

I would take MG to the visitation and funeral because so many other parents won't. And cry. Bring a box of tissue and let MG and her friend know that crying is normal, natural, healthy and part of healing. Don't keep it locked up. I think they'll be overloaded with food and stuffed animals. Perhaps a book on death geared for children would be more useful. http://www.amazon.com/Miss-You-First-Look-Death/dp/0764117645/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267278757&sr=8-5 That one looks like it would be good and falls in her age group. Also, this one is one I remember from my childhood: http://www.amazon.com/Nana-Upstairs-Downstairs-Tomie-dePaola/dp/0698118367/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267278905&sr=1-1 it's about waiting for a Grandparent to die. I was gonna suggest that the other day, but it wouldn't have arrived in time anyways. I think the most important thing you can do is "be there." Maybe have her over to play so she can get out and have fun. Do extra special fun things when she's over. The first month or so they'll probably have lots of support, then it will fade. So offer up a casserole in a month or 2 as well as playdates. Those seem like piddly suggestions for the situation.

Anonymous said...

I second the playdate/babysitting idea, they might need some adult-only time in the next few days, and I think it would help Marly to get away from all of the sadness and crying for a couple hours to play with another little girl. I imagine that a little bit of normalcy in Marly's life would be a good thing for her & her family. And/or playdates in the next few months would be welcome by Marly's family too (after the support begins to fade like previous commentator said). And definitely taking MG to the visitation & funeral and try to teach her how to be there for her friend.

My heart breaks for Marly and her family... :(

-Rachel