Sunday, August 12, 2007

This explains a lot...

This study just couldn't have come out 3 years ago, huh? *sigh*

Apparently mothers who experience stress and anxiety during pregnancy are more likely to have children with sleep disorders than mothers who are relaxed and happy during pregnancy.

I think I was the queen of stress and anxiety when I was pregnant with MG. On a scale of 1 - 10, I was about a 13. I was convinced that I was going to die in childbirth. When I was on bedrest, during the last week of my pregnancy, I wrote BJ a letter, and gave it to his best friend so that if I did die, he would have a "goodbye" from me.

If that isn't morbid, I don't know what is.

I'm not sure what caused this. Perhaps I have always had a complicated relationship with my body, and I just didn't believe that it could do something like create a person without betraying me somehow. I mean, this is the body that caused me to turn beet red and sweat like a pig in gym class. This is the body that remains overweight. This is the body that can't catch the ball, or hit the ball, or kick the ball the way other bodies can. So how could I trust it to do something so profound as create another body!?

Maybe it was simply hormones. Maybe it was part of the metamorphosis in becoming a mother. Maybe it was birth anxiety. Maybe worry is just my way of interacting with the world.

Recently I read another article (can't find it) that was talking about ante-partum depression - before birth depression, and I thought, "Oh, yeah... That is so me."

So, it's my fault that MG doesn't sleep. Well, that's ok. Maybe it'll make it a little easier to not get frustrated with her in the night. I can get frustrated with myself instead.


adymommy said...

Oh my. We have the same body! Can't catch, kick, hit a ball to save my life, etc...

I don't find your letter morbid at all. I had pregnancy journals with both my kids and after having hemmoraged to the point of needing a transfusion(almost) with the first I wrote some pretty weird things during my 2nd pregnancy.

Also I am a high stressed person by nature and both kids sleep better than most. In fact my 22 month old still takes morning and afternoon naps most days and is in bed by 8:30pm. Not to brag or anything;)
That was a really interesting article thanks for sharing!

Jen said...

It says it COULD lead to sleep disorders, not that it DOES. That's just MG. You are good parents... don't blame yourself. You can send her to my house for boot camp... she'll sleep with the mere threat of having to go back...