I went up to Grammaland for a Christmas party on Saturday. BJ stayed at home with the kids, and went to another Christmas party. I decided to wean Claire, since she handles my being gone overnight just fine, and nursing has become more of a habit with her than anything else. A habit that was really annoying me, to be frank.
It's so hard. She cries and cries, "NUR NUR, NUR NUR!" and my hormones are going nuts (nursing surpresses certain bodily activities, and the cessation of nursing causes those to start up again, if you know what I mean) so I'm emotional. And my boobs hurt. A lot. But I haven't nursed her since Saturday afternoon, and it seems to me that we're over the worst of it now. She's doing ok. I'm doing ok. We might live through it.
Many people have said that they dropped a bunch of weight when they quit breastfeeding. Since I nursed MG while I was pregnant with Claire and for 9 months after Claire was born (moo), I never got to see whether or not that was true for me. God, I hope that's true for me. After being pregnant or breastfeeding or both for the last four years, it would sure be nice for my body to reward me by dropping 50 pounds with no effort.
I won't hold my breath...
I really thought I'd be more emotional about it (especially considering the hormones), but I'm fine with the decision. BJ wants to go for a third, and I will not tandem nurse again - it was WAY too hard - so if we're going to have a third, this is a necessary step. And to be honest, I'm ready to have a break for a little while. I'm ready for Claire to grow up a little. I'm not wailing "Mah Baby!" or anything.
But I do have to figure out how I can express a little milk at work. Can't use the bathroom sink - they're communal. Maybe I could aim for the commode in a stall, but I really don't want to get it all over my jeans. I'm not the neatest milk-expresser. I'm alone in the office, but the idea of sitting at my desk and aiming for a coffee mug doesn't do much for me. And how am I going to get rid of it when I'm done?
This is the kind of stuff they really should teach in the parenting prep classes when you're pregnant. Maybe I should write a letter.