Monday, October 5, 2009

Traveler's Remorse

We are leaving in approximately 10 hours.

This is my least-favorite part of the trip - Departure Eve. The night when everything is done (I think, I hope) and all that's left to do is wait, and I think too much.
The kids are too little for Disneyworld. They won't even remember it.

We're cramming too much into too short a stay.

We're taking a toddler and a pre-schooler. On an airplane. And they won't let us sit five rows away and pretend that the kids belong to someone else.

Hotel rooms don't have chocolate milk on tap. The kids are going to explode with tiny fury before we even get out of the hotel room in the morning.

Hotels have pools. Someone is going to drown.

Hotels have pools. I have to wear a swimming suit. (Please note that these worries are in no particular order, and I certainly don't think that being forced to wear a swimsuit is the same as experiencing a hotel-pool drowing!)

The economy is in the toilet, we should be saving our money right now, not spending.

We could've spent that money on (insert any combination of 10 million things) instead!

I can't believe how much the effing park tickets cost. Good Lord! There's no way we're going to get our money's worth.

Florida is hot. And humid. And they have lots and lots of bugs.



What if we run out of (insert any combination of 10 million things that I have packed)???

What if Tim forgets to come stay with Max?

What if our credit cards don't work in Florida (Holy carp! I forgot to call the bank and tell them we're traveling! Add that to the to-do list for tomorrow...)?

What if we get into a car accident in the rental car?

What if the plane crashes?

What if Claire has a temper tantrum in the middle of It's a Small World?

What if I never get the stupid song out of my head?

What if something bad happens here while we're away?

What if someone gets lost?

What if I forget to get a picture of the kids on the Dumbo ride, or pick up Kaity's
Christmas ornament?

What if I neglected to pack underwear?

What if I neglected to pack diapers?

What if no one has fun?

What if all my worrying prevents everyone from having fun?
It's exhausting. The thing is, I know we'll have fun once we get there. I know that it'll be great. But the night before is hard on me. I worry myself sick. I wish I had a switch and could turn it off, but the only way I've found to deal with it is to think through every possible bad thing that could happen, and have a plan. So, if I forgot to pack things, we'll find the nearest Walmart. No big deal. If Claire has a tantrum there we'll handle it the same way we handle them here. No big deal. I'm sure she wouldn't be the first kid to spaz at Disneyworld. As for the concerns about the economy and the money - eh, it's only money. We'll make more. And most of the money is already spent, anyway, so freaking out isn't going to change or fix anything.

The only truly legitimate worry up there is, "What if all my worrying prevents everyone from having fun?" So, tonight I'll work through it, and tomorrow we'll leave - hopefully with me in my zen happy place, instead of frantic-nail-biting-double-checking-what-we've-packed-list-making place.

Is this completely insane, or do you do it too? Is it part of being The Mom and therefore Responsible for Everyone Else's Fun/Safety/Wellbeing? Or am I just a fruitcake?


Have the T-shirt said...

I think it's a mom thing. I used to do this too, especially when travelling with little kids.

There is so much riding on the trip that you sometimes lose sight of the fact that the whole thing is supposed to be FUN!

I'm sure you'll have fun once you get on your way.

Amy said...

I'm this way when we're just driving 5 hours to visit family. And it was even worse when we were just traveling 2 hours to go camping.

I think that even though dad can handle things just as well as mom, we feel the need to "be prepared" and be in control, which is hard enough at home in familiar circumstances. So it just gets 10 times harder in places that are less familiar and on an irregular schedule.

I'm already starting to think about our Thanksgiving trip to see family. Four of us in one room, with various visits with family & friends, and getting our various sleep schedules to work - the toddler does an afternoon nap with an 8pm bedtime. The 6 month old naps an hour after he eats and is currently crying for 15-25 minutes (while being rocked) before bedtime/naps.