Last night, Owen, Cameron, and Kade came over. Since Owen and MG are the same age, and Cameron and Claire are the same age, there has been a little lighthearted ribbing (since Karen and I were pregnant!) about how cute it would be if our kids grew up and married each other.
So, as I was laying down with Mary Grace before bed last night, she was telling me, "I'm gonna marry Owen," and I said, "Honey that's fine, and Owen is a really nice boy, but I want you to know that there's a lot of time yet to worry about getting married. You have a lot of things to learn and a lot of adventures to have before you worry about getting married, honey, and I think it would be better if you and Owen were just really good friends until you're about 25."
She cried like I was crushing her soul.
"BUT MOMMY! I want to get married!!! I want to go on a honeymoon with Owen!!!"
What the eff???
Where are the stories of girls having adventures that DON'T involve "getting married and living happily ever after"? I'm sorry, everyone who drank the princess Koolaid, but marriage is when the work starts. It's not all riding off into the sunset kissing in the back of a carriage, and anyone who tells you different is probably selling something. Marriage is about mortgages and paying taxes and dirty diapers and finding something to talk about even though you've spent the last 3,287 days together (love you, Honey!) and taking care of each other when you're sick and taking care of each others' kids and aging parents and negotiating where you're going to spend the holidays and trying to come up with a creative gift for the 9th year in a row (help!)... Marriage is about putting someone else's needs first. Yeah, it's great (if you're married to the right person) but it's also a lot of work.
I continued, "Honey, being married to your daddy and being your mommy is my favorite thing in the world, but I wouldn't be happy being married and being a mommy if I hadn't had adventures first."
"I don't wanna have adventures, I don't want to learn stuff, I want to get married and go on a honeymoon!"
Clearly telling them that princesses get to be princesses because they're good at math and science hasn't been enough.
BJ pointed out later that he's annoyed that the girls in the movies meet the prince ONCE and then they get married. He couldn't be more right.
Plus, there's the whole underlying message issue. Boingboing said it best:
You know who I'd love to see a kids' movie about? Amelia Earhart. Or Marie Curie. Or Elizabeth Cady Stanton. But let's face it... She's not a glamorous girl.
I know we willingly bought into the princess franchise (we did the big lunch in the castle at Disneyworld and the whole nine), but I really thought I could manage it. I did not expect the whole, "Your only worth is in how desirable you are to a boy," thing to happen at age FOUR.
I need to start deprogramming, and I think I need to start writing historical fiction for little girls, based on the lives of the role models that they should be looking up to! Unfortunately, a story that goes, "I spent a lot of years in school, working really hard to learn everything I needed to know so that I could change the world," doesn't generally translate to a blockbuster movie.
3 comments:
ok, the honeymoon part may have come from Disney, but I think most little girls talk about marriage.
My oldest watched one Disney movie every afternoon while her brother napped for like two years straight. However, Abby hasn't sat through a single Disney movie (or any other movie for that matter) and wants nothing to do with her sisters old princess books, yet at 3 she had her future husband picked. All last year she told everyone she was going to marry Cole. They were in preschool class together, but never really played together. She also asks lots of questions about my being married to daddy.
I hope this is because she feels happy and safe seeing my relationship with her dad. I am sure by the time she is old enough to even consider dating she will realize it is hard work too.
There are a lot of things you can blame on Disney, but not this one. Girls are just wired to dream about there future husband and wedding day.
From what I have read about MG's personality I am sure she will be plenty independent and have many adventures before her wedding day comes.
Sarah
Have you checked out the Princess and the Frog yet? She actually does stuff, and makes the prince work for her. It's great, and I push it whenever I get the chance.
Just read this, take a gander:
http://www.childsplayx2.com/2010/05/raising-a-woman-not-a-girl.html
(his twins are about the same age as MG)
Maybe the reason she is ready to get married is that she has found a best friend and sees what a great model her parents are for give and take and for patience and for listening and she wants to share that with this punk kid. (i.e. maybe you are good at modeling and she wants to be good at following!) All of this talk about anniversary might have gotten in her head!
You guys assume that being brainwashed means having to be awake and watch something but have no idea about how the mind works or brainwashing in that matter
About the 3 year old being asleep for a few years. When young children age 1-3 years old sleep. They usually spend 90% of their sleep time in REM sleep. REM sleep is where your mind is dreaming. Adults have REM sleep about 6 minutes per night. This shows that a small child's mind is developing very heavily.
So that 3 year old is actually being brainwashed by Disney movies in her sleep or REM sleep.
REM sleep is very interesting because the brain is operating multiple times as fast so time slows down when your in this state. I had a dream I was in the elevator going down a skyscraper that took 2 minutes. What was actually happening was the elevator next door in my apartment was running for 10 seconds.
So what is a smaller amount of time for the people in the elevator was 2 minutes for me and I happened to be in REM sleep at this point.
So about that 3 year old in REM sleep. She could of been getting programmed massively by Disney in her dreams and her mind is having her turn away from Disney by making her react negatively to her sister's old Disney stuff.
Some important thoughts I've had lately is You are what you eat. You are what you watch. And you are what you listen to.
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