Wednesday, June 30, 2010

What To Expect When You're Expecting Your Third Child

It seems like all of the books, websites, e-mails and apps about pregnancy are geared toward the first-time mom.  It's understandable, I guess.  If I were any sort of a decent mother I'd be too busy taking care of the kids I've got to read about the kid I'm expecting.  I remember feeling very guilty about this when I was pregnant with Claire - as if her fetal mind knew that I wasn't monitoring the development of every toenail the way I did when I was pregnant with Mary Grace.

But my kids are big enough to entertain themselves quite a bit, now, and I have time to read again (hooray!).  And it's all very 100 level stuff.  There is certainly room in the world for a book about subsequent pregnancies.  It would include such wisdom as:
  • Your prior pregnancies have destroyed any abdominal muscles you might have had to begin with, so you will begin showing before you even know you're pregnant.  People will consistently think you're 2-3 months farther along than you are.  You will be asked, "Are you sure it's not twins?" often.  Try not to take it personally.
  • You will be more tired and more achy with this pregnancy than you were before.  It's partly because you're older, it's partly because you're taking care of a kid or two while trying to grow another one, and it's partly because subsequent pregnancies are harder.  Symptoms, like back pain and round ligament pain, will begin earlier and be more intense.  Suck it up, Cupcake, there's nothing you can do.  Oh, and just wait until you feel the after-labor pains this time.  You'll refuse to leave the hospital until your husband gets a vasectomy.  (No personal experience with this one, yet, but I've heard... and it scares me!)
  • On the other hand, the third pregnancy is better because you have evidence that you'll get through it.  You aren't as afraid of labor because you've done it before.  It's not some scary unknown.  It's do-able.  You won't have as much anxiety about the baby as you did before, either.  Maybe this is why third children tend to be mellow.
  • Your older kid(s) will push on your tummy at least eleven times a day, and you'll be convinced that your baby will be born with bruises from head to toe.  (I'll let you know in December whether or not that actually happens.  Fortunately, this mom-to-be-again has enough padding, still, to protect the baby from sibling elbows).  Speaking of padding....
  • All of your friends will be dieting, and your husband will lose all the sympathy weight he gained when you were pregnant the first time (or two) and you will feel like a whale (see above re: abs).
Chapters would include:
  • Nap Strategies - how to get your older kids to let you sleep for 20 minutes so you don't pass out when you're driving later.  (Hint - take the kids to McDonald's Play Place, put on your giant sunglasses, and doze while they play).
  • The Mom Diet - can you grow a healthy baby on raisins, Chicken McNuggets and PB&J?  (Hint - no.  Your kid will weigh 97 pounds at birth if you try.  Be sure to take a vitamin and eat a vegetable once in a while).
  • Lower Expectations - housework strategies for pregnant women with toddlers or preschoolers in the home.  (Hint - tell the kids that scrubbing the floor is fun and get them to do it until you're so big you can't see your feet or the floor anymore.  At that point, who cares?)
  • Time Warp - why this pregnancy is going faster than your previous one(s) and what to do about it.  (Hint - paint the nursery as soon as the plus appears on the pregnancy test, because this kid is going to arrive before you know it).
What would you include in the What to Expect When You're Expecting Again book?  Any publishers out there who want to give me a big fat advance check to write this thing?

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you are an amazing mom who is already accomplishing something lots of moms don't: encouraging your older children to bond with each other and the baby. Great job Amy!
-Becky

Heidi said...

I actually laughed out loud at your comment on the ab's that were. I suspected I was pregnant with my third when my pants felt tight. That was my first symptom - days before nausea, exhaustion or a positive test. My poor abdomninal muscles said "What? Again?! Didn't we just do this?!! Forget it lady - we quit."

By the time I was six months along everyone assumed it was twins. Here's the kicker - I gained a total of 13 pounds with that pregnancy (and delivered an 8 lb 5 oz baby.) No matter how much/little you gain, you will look HUGE this time around. Give in and get out the comfy pants now.

RobMonroe said...

Did you know that your baby does not have to have been born to have the vasectomy. :o)

Hope you get your naps in - for everyone's sake!

AmyBeth said...

I am also on baby #3. I am just shy of 28 weeks and I swear if another person asks if I am having twins or if I have my due date wrong, I might just hurt someone. Also, the round ligament pain is unbearable! It got better around the 20th week, but now at 27 weeks it is back. This pregnancy has been harder on me, I am more tired, more emotional, more uncomfortable.... etc. I was thinking the same thing you said... everything is geared towards being a first time mom there is nothing for 2nd or 3rd pregnancies. Good Luck to you!

Stacey says... said...

I would include: Don't expect people to go head over heals in excitement for you when you tell them you're pregnant...Again. But don't let this take away from your excitement!

angel0199 said...

You should write a book. There is a blogger book boom going on right now. 2 bloggers I follow have book deals. Obviously there is a need for this info.

By 7 months pregnant with number two I had outgrown my favorite pregnancy pants that had lasted me until number one was born nine days past her due date.

My neighbor is currently pregnant with #3 and wanted to wait till 12 weeks before sharing the news, but she was showing too much by 10 weeks.

Kelly said...

Ha Ha, loved this post! I am 10weeks into my third and you had me laughing out loud! Can't wait to read more!

Anonymous said...

Ditto Heidi! What a comfort to read these third time around comments and know I'm not alone. Definitely write that book. I'd buy it in a heartbeat =0)

Kia said...

I agree you need to write a book. I am surfing the internet like crazy trying to find information about this third pregnancy. It almost feels like my first. This was hilarious and I needed it. I was starting to feel alone at 10 weeks pregnant and looking like a blimp. smh

Kelsey Jensen said...

Thanks. Just found out im preagnant like an hour ago. So worried. I have a 3yr old soon to be 4. And a two year old. My husband did not take the news that great. So . Laying here in bed sad and read this. And started laughing super loud. I swear I thought I was going to wake the house up. Thanks for the pick me up and making me smile.

joanna perez said...

Man....im trying to figure out if im pregnant or not my pelvic bone keeps popping ugh with every single darn preg. Symptom!! And now I got this weird ta taste in my mouth that no matter what I eat or drink it's still the same taste the reason why I am in denial is because my boyfriend had a vasectomy 10 years ago crazy huh!?! I have a 6yr old turning 7 in may and a 3yr old so I kinda know about symptoms but due to his operation I feel like a newly pregnant chick all over again ughhh this sucks! Lol

joanna perez said...

That's funny I'm over here going crazy because I experience all the pregnancy symptoms I already have a 6 year old and a 3 year old my 6 year old will be 7 in May and now I experienced my pelvic bone popping pretty weird I remember that for my first 2 pregnancies I'm still waiting to find out the only catch that makes me question about this 1 is that my boyfriend had a vasectomy 10 years ago I've heard of women getting pregnant like that so im here feeling like a newly pregnant chick Google-ing all the symptoms like my first UGHHHH!!!!! LOL but the blogs help ease the anxiousness hehehe

njohnson512 said...

Thank you for your post I am on my third baby I am 12 weeks as of today I have a two year old soon to be three and a 6 month old yes 6 months its not a typo. When the If your told you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding its a trick LOL. I am just wondering if the short period between the pregnancies will make any difference.

njohnson512 said...

Thank you for you post. I am 12 weeks pregnant with my third child. I have a 2year old soon to be three and a 6 month old yes I said 6 month old it is not a typo. If your ever told you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding its a trick LOL. I am experiencing all the back pains and pelvic shifts the funny part is these are the things I experienced in my third trimester with the other two and I'm feeling them now and I'm barely in my second trimester. I'm wondering if the short length in time between pregnancies could be the cause. Also I would definitely buy your book if you published one.

Tay6 said...

I too am pregnant with my third! I have two girls, 6 and 2. I am so happy reading this to know that I am not just a whimp since every ache and pain is worst this time. I have aches in places I never had with my other two! I would buy your book without hesitation. I hesitate to tell my Dr about all of my issues assuming she will tell me I'm crazy lol. Thanks so much for this post!!

Im not crazy after all!!!! Yay Me!!! said...

I am 7 weeks into my 3rd. It is comforting to know that I am not losing my mind with the back pain and all the other symptoms. I cant wait to go home and tell my husband im not alone and I am not making it up for attention, its all normal...Thank you so much for the relief...Lol!!!1

Nichole Lomedico said...

I am 8 weeks and pregnant with my third, i have a soon to be 4year old, and a soon to be 2 year old who i am still nursing, i would love a book to read, i feel like no one understands how tired i am all the time, and my iron is just fine :) Its just hard with two toddlers :) love your post. Thanks

rachel warner said...

Wow, kidna scared now :/ not pregnant but wont more kids in the future when i was pregnant with my daughter i had morning sickness from 4 weeks, showing by 5-6 weeks and by 18 weeks people kept asking if i was ready as bubs can be here any day :/ as soon as i mentioned how far along i was they would looked shocked and ask me if i was having twins or triplets :/ then i was constantly told she would be massive. she ended u being 8lb 3 1/2oz

angelmama said...

I found this after typing into google "what to expect from your 3rd pregnancy". I am going on 7 weeks with my 3rd, I have an almost 6 year old and a 4 year old, who will be 5 by the time baby comes. It actually feels like my last pregnancy was another era, so much has changed for me in those 5 years!! So I'm embracing this like a first time mother, excited about knowing what is to come, but definitely feeling like it is my 3rd pregnancy! My boobs are HUGE and so achy! Round ligament pain ALREADY scares the crap out of me for the next 34 weeks. And I'm also thinking it will be hard to make it to 12weeks before people guess as I'm already as bloated as I was at 14 weeks last pregnancy! I never sufferered morning sickness with either of my boys and feel the same this time around. I wonder if that means another boy?!

Augustrican said...

This was absolutely hilarious. Loved reading it. Im 39 (soon to be 40) and pregnant with 3rd child. I have 2 daughters ( 8 & 2). I already look 4 months and Im weeks along. And, Im yawning as I type! Talk about tired! Geez! I work a full time job and during the day is when I want to sleep but when I should be sleeping, it's like I become an insomniac. LOL! But, happy as heck! Thanks for the honesty!

Preggers said...

Thanks for this - its the only reasonable piece of content re: having a third baby that I have found/ read - and I have really searched (am now eight months). If someone could just have said: you will look larger and physically it will hurt more - I'd know and be happy. Like you say - it is what it is - suck it up! but no one says! write the book. people will buy it. you write really well - you made me laugh out loud. x