Tuesday, August 9, 2011

A Mother's Prayer

Dear Universe,

Please forgive me for getting frustrated with Jack today.  I know he's fussy because he's teething.  I know I shouldn't let it get to me.  And after I saw the pictures of the baby who had to have heart surgery, and who was so swollen that they left his chest wound open instead of stitching him up, I was reminded that I have absolutely no room to bitch.

Forgive me for getting irritated with Mary Grace when she laughed and spit ice cream all over Jack and me at McDonald's today.  It was the middle of the whole screaming-all-the-way-home-because-we're-teething-and-inconsolable thing, and he was wrestling around while I was trying to nurse him, flashing everyone at exit 205.  I had just about had it... but that's no excuse, I know.  She was just laughing.  Please let her have truly meant it when I asked for her forgiveness, and asked her if we could just leave it behind, and she said, "Ok, Mommy."

Forgive me for not being as patient with Claire as I should be.  She's not the same age as her big sister, even though she can almost always be counted upon to act as though she is.  Help me remember that she's just little (all of her - especially her internal organs) and not to have overly high expectations of her.

Help me remember, when I get annoyed with BJ over the little, stupid things that I tend to get irritated over, the story of the woman in my community who has 4 kids and a husband with incurable cancer.  I met her today, and she didn't even mention it.  She smiled.  She laughed.  She was charming.  She gave me helpful advice about having kids in school.  How does she manage?  How could she not be falling apart?  And help me remember my friend who is struggling with her own cancer AGAIN.  Help me remember to do kind things for those around me who are struggling.  And when I get aggravated, please help me remember how freaking lucky we are to be healthy.

I know I keep wishing time away...  "It'll be so much easier when they're bigger.  It'll be so much easier when they're all in school...  It'll be so much easier when..." but please don't take me seriously.  It doesn't need to go by quite so fast.  Help me enjoy it, even though there's a lot of hard work and self-sacrifice involved in mothering.  Help me get involved with the PTA at the new school, and to take a leadership role at the preschool (and not annoy them half to death this year), and help me do it with a song in my heart and a spring in my step, instead of grousing about making cupcakes for this or having to run to that.  Help me keep perspective, and to remember to give joyfully of myself.  Help me to do it all, and still have a little time and energy left over for myself.

Help me be worthy of the family you've entrusted to me. 



Anonymous said...

Amen. Over and out. ;)

Sending patience and understanding your way today. We really are pretty freaking lucky, aren't we?


Vacationland Mom said...

My son's name is Jack too! I know exactly how you feel, thank you for your great posts.