I Nest Wrong

Some people go on vacation when they're expecting.  Others will get massages, manis, and pedis at the spa.  What do we do?  Home repair and improvement.  Nesting generally isn't supposed to involve this many power tools.  But our girls wanted bunkbeds, and because of the wonky ceiling and enormous window in their room, the pre-fab one wouldn't fit...  So, we improvised.

Here's the before:

There is no potential for head injury here!  Let's elevate this bedroom!

That's better!

Mommy spent a LOT of time sanding.  We can't have our princesses pricking their fingers and then sleeping for 100 years, after all. 

Oh wait, that was a spinning wheel.  Well, whatever.  Look at all that dust!

Then Daddy sanded for a while.

So, now that we have the major structures in place, BJ is at the hardware store trying to figure out a solution for the stairs and/or ladder.  I guess what he had planned isn't working.  Some kind of saw malfunction or something.  I think leaving them this way would really cut down on the number of times the kids get up during the night, but I'd probably end up changing the sheets more often.  Do you think we could teach them to use chamber pots?

Anyway, once we have the ladder/stairs done, we'll cut the facing that will go on the front out of plywood.  Each loft will look like a castle tower, we're going to paint them gray and then sponge on some stone, maybe some arrow slits or windows or something...

...then we're going to get two identical bookshelves to put on either side (where the dressers are now), and we're going to paint the backs of the bookshelves to look castle-y too.

BJ has plans for a drawbridge in between.

We need to clear out the rug (pictured above, all rolled up and stuck against the bed) and the stand for the fish tank (BJ thinks that we should sink it into the floor to make it a moat, but I don't want fish in my bedroom ceiling). 

We have a LOT of painting to do, but I can't really do it when I'm pregnant, so it'll have to wait.  Mary Grace wants her bed "hot pink" (behind the tower face) and Claire wants hers "hot purple." 

Once we're all finished, all the stuffed animals will become Royal Subjects, and they shall move upstairs.  All the dress up clothes will make their way up to the Royal Wardrobe, too.  It should really make the family room look cleaner once we're done.

So that's what we did on our Thanksgiving break.  And now I'm thankful that BJ's going back to work tomorrow, so that I can rest!

Halloween

We spent most of yesterday finishing the siding on the northwest side of the house, and when I say "we" I mean "BJ and his dad did all the work while I came out and made encouraging noises occasionally, watched the kids, and made sure they ate a nice hot lunch."

These are essential services.

We have two more sections to finish on the house, and then we'll be done. 

At around 3:00 they called it quits, and we carved our pumpkins.  I like doing them on Halloween so they don't rot or get smashed.  Then we put the girls' costumes on (Woody and Jessie from Toy Story) and trick or treated in our neighborhood.  When we got too cold to go on, we came home and watched "The Great Pumpkin" and let the kids eat way too much candy.  We confiscated the yucky ones - like the peanut butter cups and the Kit Kats and Almond Joys.  Heh heh!

It's hard to believe it's November and time to start thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Where has 2010 gone?

Halloween 2009

Behold, the attention to detail:


This was a couple days ago when we tried on the girls' costumes...

...and here's the ensemble - Velma, Shaggy, Daphne, Scooby, and Fred!

I think BJ should start wearing the ascots every day. He's bringin' sexy back!

We didn't stay out long, because it's pretty cold here. We did stay out long enough to get serious sugar highs. "Fred" has declared, "The first set (of teeth) is temporary, anyway..."

When I write again at 3 am because the kids are still up and high on sugar, you can tell me "I told you so!"

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

ProMom Tip: Make Halloween Costumes

I can't remember if I said anything here or not, but I was recently complaining on Facebook that the costumes for girls Mary Grace's age are already getting slutty.

She's four.

This is obviously unacceptable to any thinking parent.

I am happy to report that aside from the black shoes I need to find for Claire, the kids' costumes are complete, and completely un-slutty! And, bonus, they'll be able to wear the clothes again after the holiday.

I can't sew, but there are plenty of characters who wear regular clothes - Dora and Diego, for example, or the guy from Blue's Clues. Mary Grace wanted to be Daphne, to have Claire be Velma, and for Max to be Scooby Doo (which totally makes sense).


Here's the commercially available Daphne costume:

Ummmm.... No.

Leaving aside the fact that the dress barely covers her butt, she'll freeze to death in an armless dress in Indiana in October. And you KNOW that the wig in the package isn't going to look anything like that. The reviews of it are terrible.

The Velma outfit is better:

...but I can find an orange shirt for less than $25! We have a skirt - it's black, instead of red, and we're doing tights instead of socks. Claire isn't nearly as exacting with the details as Mary Grace - MG rejected about 11,000 scarves as being "not right" before we finally just bought a piece of neon green fabric at Joann's and called it "good enough." I found a lavender polo dress at Once Upon A Child, and we got her a pair of purple ballet flats (they're super cute, and she'll be able to wear the whole outfit to school without it screaming "Daphne!") We got a piece of red fabric to make BJ a scarf (so he can wear a white polo and jeans and be Fred). I'm going to be in charge of the camera and the Scooby Snacks (although I do have a green t-shirt and brown pants, I could pull off a Shaggy costume pretty easily if I drew a goatee on my face with eyeliner). I found a really cute little pair of magnifying glasses at Target that'll work just fine for Velma. They were a buck.

Of course, getting a dog that looks like Scooby Doo probably wouldn't be cheap if we didn't already happen to have one. I guess it's a good thing she likes Scooby Doo this year, and not Clifford!

So try to find a character that wears regular clothes and to eschew the commercially available costumes this year. It feels good to know that my kids will be warm enough for the weather and covered enough to be decent this Halloween!

We had them try everything on tonight, and I took pictures, but I'm going to make you all wait until the Big Day to see them!

Claire's Clothes

Claire is running around in a diaper today. This is the day after we finally turned on the furnace for the winter, because it has been so cold and damp here. After arguing with her about it, giving up, and going upstairs to get dressed, myself, I had a startling realization - I understand rocket science more than I understand two year olds.

*sigh*

The Out of Control Party

I don't know how she does it.

Not only are people coming all the way to our town for MG's birthday party, they're doing it in costume.

Our little diva decided that she wanted a Wizard of Oz birthday costume party, and all of a sudden it has turned into an EVENT. My mom is coming as the Wicked Witch. My sister is coming as the rainbow (haha). I found a hideously and appropriately old-ladyish yellow gingham dress at Goodwill for $5, so I will be Aunt Em (complete with powdered hair to make it look white!). BJ has a morning coat, maroon vest, and top hat to be the Wizard. Claire is going to be the Cowardly Lion. My cousin Jill is going to be Glinda.

Mary Grace will, of course, be Dorothy, because she is, after all, the main character.

I've got rainbow colored treats (suckers and Skittles) for the kids. I ordered a cupcake-cake in the shape of a hot air balloon, with a rainbow-striped balloon. I got lots of green cups and plates and whatnot.

We're going to put a Yellow Brick Road up the driveway, with chalk.

I seriously wish that I posessed the ability to manipulate people that my oldest daughter has. She is a force to be reckoned with.

So I didn't want to get the Dorothy dress out ahead of time, because you know she's never going to take it off. I went to look for it Friday - guess what? NO DOROTHY DRESS! I panicked and called the costume store here, strike one. Called the costume store near Grammaland and had them hold one for my mom to pick up - she did, and the only one they had is too small. Unless we're going for the Hooker-Dorothy look (which is sort of in, as I've learned) that isn't going to work. I spazzed, but never fear, because the power of Mary Grace's will is limitless - my mom is making Mary Grace's Dorothy dress. Out of fabric. With pins and stuff.

This child is going to take over the world, mark my words.

So stay tuned, because I should have some pretty awesome party pictures tomorrow night.

(The funniest part is that she's never even seen the movie all the way through!)

Image: Wikimedia Commons

The Littlest Princess

The littlest princess was all tuckered out
From a hard day of playing and running about.
She played at the park, where she bumped her wee nose,
She ransacked the toy room, dressed in all the fun clothes.
And when our dear princess had had quite enough
Of reading and running and playing with stuff,
She covered her sweet little face with her hair
And fell fast asleep, on the dining room chair.



Sleep well, Little Princess. Tomorrow we'll play.
Tomorrow we'll have one more just-as-fun day.

Tonight let your dreams take you, follow them, roam,
And you'll wake bright and early again in your home.

Unpopular with Parents

I have a bit of a personality flaw, I'm afraid. I'm the kind of parent that kids love but parents hate.

Case in point - today we went to a birthday party for our little friend Miles, who turned one. We put on our cutest party dresses, and headed to Miles' house about 20 minutes from ours, only to discover that no one was there. I checked my e-mail on my phone, and the party was at a park about 2 minutes from our house. Whoops.

We weren't really dressed for a party in the park, but I'm fairly adept at laundry and they looked cute, so I thought, "oh well," and let them play. I could've brought them home to change them and then returned to the park, but by the time we got there, we were already running pretty late.

The girls managed to eat their birthday cake without getting any on their outfits, and I thought, "Hooray!! Maybe this won't be a test of my Spray 'N' Wash after all!" Then, it started to rain.

Did I mention that we were at a park?

No worries, there was a picnic shelter and we were dry inside, until I heard those six little words that I had been dreading, "Mommy, I have to go potty."

Through the storm I trekked with MG holding my hand and Claire on my hip. It wasn't far, but by the time we got to the bathrooms and back, we were soaked.

Then MG and C wanted to play in the rain. By that time, they were soaked, so I said, "Why not, go for it!" And - this is the part that I didn't think about when I told my own kids they could play in the rain - all the other parents had to let their kids play in the rain too! So, there we were, about a dozen damp grown ups and about 8 soggy kids, whooping it up in the rain at the park.

I told Miles' dad that I'd watch all the kids when they came down with pneumonia next week, because I was pretty sure that the rain-play was totally my fault. He replied that he was disappointed in me for thinking that being cold and wet caused pneumonia, so I guess he couldn't have been too mad, right? I mean, if he were mad, he would've started handing out my phone number to all the other parents.

It sure looked like everyone had fun. The little ones were a little bit shivery and blue lipped, but none the worse for wear.

For the ride home, I stripped my kids down to almost nothing and tossed them in the back seat with a blanket and the heat on full blast. It was a short ride home (for us) so it wasn't too bad. When we got back, their Dad tossed them in the bath while I made supper, and now (hopefully) they're sleeping in the next room.

The way I figure it, my kids are going to remember splashing in mud puddles more than they'll remember having beautiful outfits. They're going to remember that Mom got out in the rain (for a few minutes, anyway) and quacked like a duck with them more fondly than they'll remember a mom who looked on from the shelter in silent disapproval.

I've never heard anyone say, "Oh, yeah... I had a great childhood. I was always SO clean!"

So, let the kids play in the rain, already! Or just try not to hate me when my kids instigate it. After all, they don't know any better.

Pajama Day Interrupted

Since Claire's sick and it's cold, wet, and rainy here, I had planned a pajama day where we sit around and watch movies and maybe get out the Play-doh later if I felt like I could deal with the mess, but MG and C had other ideas. They demanded to wear their flower girl dresses from Mimi's wedding, and they are "booful" - running around in their Easter shoes and their tulle and satin dresses.

Who do these kids belong to, honestly? Because I am the opposite of a girlie girl. I am a jeans and t-shirt girl. I would no sooner wear a dress for fun than I'd go shopping for fun. Yuck. My kids, though, are clothes horses. They start developing their own ideas about what they're going to wear around 18 months (THAT guessing game is fun) and at 3.5, MG shows no signs of stopping and stepping into her jeans and t-shirt birthright.

On the other hand, if I could look this cute this effortlessly, I probably would, too.


It's like the Midget Prom around here.

They'll be precious at the pharmacy later... when I get out of my jammies.

And now for something completely different...

Pictures of my cute kids, to erase all of the other mental images my last post may have conjured.

Sometimes when you feel crummy, the best solution is formal wear.



Nerderella. She must get it from her daddy. Haha...

Cute Suits

I've been trying to remember to take pictures of the kids in all of their cute new suits that you got them for Christmas.

Sometimes it goes well...

Sometimes, it doesn't...

And sometimes it's just silly...

Halloweenies

I'm not going to keep boring you with my diet, but I'm TEN POUNDS down since Sunday! I called the doctor's office this morning, because people kept telling me to, and asked the triage nurse her thoughts. "Could they have slipped a tapeworm into my fiber supplements?" She said as long as I'm not passing out, I'm fine. She suggested that I up my calories (from 1500 to 1800) and I'm like, "No thanks, this is working just fine for me." I can do this until Christmas. By then I'll be a very cute little elf. I am going to have to ask Santa for a whole bunch of really cute, really little clothes! Ok, enough about that. Reading about someone else's diet is about as much fun as reading about a root canal, right?

Meanwhile, the Halloween pictures are stuck on the CF card, so I'll have to wait until BJ gets home and reminds me how to get them off of the card to show them to you.

However, I have to take a minute to complain. What's with the kids in the white t-shirt and jeans and slicked back hair who are 50s dudes, who don't even have a pack of Pall Malls rolled up in their sleeves? Where's the realism?? And what about the "hobos" who are wearing an old flannel shirt and jeans. At least put some dirt on your face and mess your hair up. Put in a little effort, ok? And I'll tell you what, the next teenager who comes to my house is getting a Trick, instead of a Treat. Seriously. Get a job and go buy candy if you're over 15, ok?

What's your cut off age for trick or treating in your family?

I did manage to get some serious cleaning of the kitchen, dining room, and living room done while BJ has been out with the kids. I worked up a sweat, so you know it looks better. The Roomba is hard at work picking up the dog hair. Yeurrgh. I really need to vacuum and stuff tomorrow. People walking past the house in black pants are getting covered with dust and fur. It's just wrong.

What did you do tonight?

The news I'm listening to just suggested that people get in line to vote this weekend. What is this, a rock concert? Everyone I know has voted early. I haven't had the opportunity, because Allison was sick last week. But, I'm going to vote Tuesday, and if there's a line, well, that will just be weird.

The Narrative

There were so many beautiful moments during Megan and Trey's wedding weekend, I don't really even know where to begin. The girls and I drove up to Grammaland on Thursday afternoon, BJ and Max followed later that night.

When we arrived at Megan's house, everyone was so relaxed. There was an air of eager anticipation and excitement, but none of the stress that you might expect, considering the scale of things to come. Megan would occasionally say, randomly, "I can't believe that I'll be married in X hours," or "Two more days!!" but she was not stressed out. She had the calm grace of someone who knows she's making the best decision of her life. She and Trey are so much in love, and it rolls off of them in waves. They are radiant together. It warms everyone around them, to be in the presence of such a beautiful relationship.

Trey's dad and step-mom took Trey and Megan's dogs to their house. Tev came over to help me get my dress just right (strapless dresses can be dangerous!). We had a little food, talked a lot, laughed a lot, drank a lot of wine... It was a fun evening. My mom arrived later, and we hung out with her, my step-dad, and their friends John and Barbara.

Eventually the girls were asleep on their feet, so I took them to my mother-in-laws, where we were staying, to meet BJ and get some rest. Claire got a weird second wind and was up late, but she was cute and funny so we just went with it. If she had been cranky, I might have worried, but she was just so excited. I think she could feel all of the energy around her, even though she probably didn't have a clue why everyone was so jazzed.

Friday came, and I went to Kohl's for a strapless bra. The universe smiled upon me, and I was able to find a reasonably comfortable one in my size (miracle!!). Then I met the girls in the bridal party and Megan to get manis and pedis, while the boys and some of the parents went golfing. My wonderful mother-in-law took the kids, so that BJ and I could enjoy the activities. It was wonderful to not have to worry about them being bored.




After manis and pedis, we ran a few errands (dropping off the hospitality baskets at the hotels, mainly), while Megan and my dad visited the golfers. Then we went to lunch at Applebee's (where they gave us free dessert shooters when they found out Megan was getting married! Yay Applebee's!)

I returned to Diana's house to get the kids dressed for the rehearsal dinner. BJ was still at the golf outing, so he met us at the chapel. The girlies were not at all thrilled at being awakened from their naps, but by the time we got to the chapel, they'd chilled out. Of course, it helped that many of their favorite people were there. Claire beelined straight for Grandpa Bob.

We rehearsed a couple of times, and then proceeded to the chapel's basement for the dinner. The nice thing about it being a chapel that is strictly for weddings, rather than Consecrated Religious Ground, is that we could have beer and wine! Mom's chefs made a ton of tapas (Spanish appetizers, which, if you haven't had before, you need to run right out and try right now, particularly at Don Quixote if you're in Grammaland, and tell Carlos we said "hi"!). Megan and Trey gave out the prizes for the golf outing (longest drive, best putt, winning team overall, etc.) and gave out the gifts for the wedding party. The guys got Cubs shirts and engraved pocket knives, we girls got our jewelry for the wedding, a really cool bag with a W (of course) and the date of the wedding and lots of pockets, and a note saying that we were getting our makeup done professionally for the big day. Ironic, because I've spent the last year trying different products and perfecting my make up skills for this wedding. Oh well. It came in handy at Amanda's wedding last December!

It was nice to have a chance to visit with friends and family before the Big Day. Mary Grace was so cute - the servers were plating dessert, and MG played waitress. Of course, that meant that you got dessert whether you wanted it or not, occasionally with tiny fingerprints, but she did the best she could.













After the dinner we returned to Diana's for a good night's sleep. Before we knew it, it was Saturday! I got up early and headed to Mom's for one last dress adjustment - wonder of wonders, it fit! Of course, that didn't mean that Connie didn't have to sneak up behind me and hike me up every 45 minutes or so, but I didn't expose myself to anyone, and that's really the goal when you go strapless. We had a nice lunch while Maria did our make up, then we headed to the salon to get our hair done.

And then my camera died.

But that's ok, because there were plenty of other cameras, and it really would've been beyond tacky for me to stand up at the front of the church shooting pictures. With our hair completely sprayed and pinned and immobile, we headed to the chapel to get dressed and do some pictures.

Here's my favorite:

That's me, my beautiful sister, Megan, and my awesome brother Chuck. We clean up well, don't we? Far cry from my usual jeans and a t-shirt look.

We had the opportunity to walk around and look at the beautiful decorations that were literally everywhere. I have never seen Mom's ballroom look so elegant. I mean, it's normally beautiful, but this was beyond amazing. There were flowers and candles everywhere. Over 4000 red roses. It was stunning; jaw-droppingly beautiful.

But it paled in comparison to the bride. I know I'm biased. I know she's my baby sister, but seriously... Never in the history of weddings has there been a more beautiful bride. Just look at her:

I can hardly look at her without tears coming to my eyes. She was radiant. Absolutely stunning. I was managing the girls when she walked in, so I didn't get to do my favorite thing, which is watch the groom's face when she entered the chapel. I can't wait for the pictures and the video. I hope someone got a good shot of Trey.

For those of you who haven't met my sister, I have to tell you that her insides are every bit as beautiful as her outside. She is the kindest, gentlest, most fun, most lovely person... Trey is a lucky, lucky guy. We're all lucky to know her.

Anyway, back to the narrative... So before we knew it, it was time for the main event. BJ showed up with the girls, freshly napped and bathed, around 4:15 and I got them dressed as quickly as I could. The wedding started at 5 pm.

We managed to get through the ceremony without any ugly crying, without messing up the stepping-up-for-the-photo-op part, and without messing up the candle thing (you'll just have to wait for the video to see what I mean). The girls did exactly what they were supposed to do, without any crying, running, nose picking, or sticking of hands down my dress. Uncle Doug performed the ceremony, and he did a great job. Trey was a bit nervous, and he dropped the ring, but I hear that's good luck.

They used some words that I helped write during the ceremony, which meant a ton to me. My aunt Julie read a poem. Trey's aunt read 1 Corinthians 13. "The greatest of these, is love..."

And they were married, and everyone cheered. We walked out of the chapel and the bridal party handed out balloons to all the guests, while Mr. and Mrs. Trey W. released their guests inside. Then, when the last guest had walked outside, the doors to the chapel were closed, Megan and Trey rang the bell, and they emerged to thunderous applause and released their balloons, and we released ours.













Then the newlyweds took a little ride on my uncle Stu's antique firetruck (which even matched the wedding colors, how coordinated are we?) to have their photos taken by the fountain, while the guests had hors d'oeuvres in the garden.

I need to get some pictures of the garden. It was lovely. The music and food were terrific. When Megan and Trey returned, we took a few formal posed pictures in the chapel, and then it was time to party!

We were introduced, then the bride and groom were introduced, and they cut the cake. After that, they were seated and the DJ gave the microphone to Paul, the best man, for his toast. Then it was my turn. I was so nervous, my knees were knocking, but I managed to spit it out without any ugly crying...

"A couple of years ago," I said, "Trey and Paul came to our house to help us work on our roof. After they left, my husband BJ said, 'Trey is such a great guy. If Megan doesn't marry him, someone in this family really needs to!' Trey, the good news is that you get to spend the rest of your life with Megan. The bad news is that you're stuck with the rest of us, and our leaky roofs.

"And that is pretty much all I've got! It's so hard to write a toast for (and here I started to choke up, and I felt the ugly cry coming on, and I had to deeply breathe through my nose to proceed) my baby sister. How can I express how much you mean to me, how much I love you both, and how happy I am for the two of you, in a short enough time that no one's drink gets warm? How can I choose just one embarrassing story to tell in front of everyone you know?

"No, I haven't had enough to drink to tell embarrassing stories... Yet. So I'll stick to my other specialty. Advice.

"When I was writing this, the thing I kept coming back to was the way you dance. If you've never seen Megan and Trey dance together, you are in for a treat. It occurred to me that if you can do in your marriage what you already do when you dance - if you can move together, smile, laugh, look into each others' eyes, and hold onto each other - then we'll all be back here in 50 years celebrating your love again.

"Congratulations. I love you both so much. And Trey, welcome to the family!" and as I finished speaking, I handed Trey a hammer that I'd had monogrammed with a "W". The W was kind of a running joke. His last name begins with W, and Megan and Mom kind of went crazy monogramming everything... Including the cake and the lawn! Think I'm kidding? Here:




















So, the W thing was kind of a running joke.

It took me a good 15 minutes to stop shaking, and by then, the prayer had been said by my "bonus mom" Susan, and we were digging into the dinner (an amazing salad, filet, shrimp and scallops on a kabob, garlic mashed potatoes, asparagus...) Then Megan and Trey danced, and just as I had predicted, it was spectacular. Those kids really know how to cut a rug. Normally I don't like all the first dances (let's just party, already!) but it was really fun to watch people who not only know how to dance, but enjoy doing it.

After that, Carol started serving me cosmos, and things get a little blurry. I know there was a lot of dancing, laughing, dancing, drinking, and dancing. Mary Grace had an excellent time standing in front of the colored lights and watching the patterns they made on her dress. She didn't stop until midnight, believe it or not, when she finally passed out on the couch in the lobby. I got to see people I don't see often at all. I got to dance with my gorgeous husband. And before we knew it, my baby sister was riding off to her honeymoon with her new husband, and the night was over.

BJ took the kids back to his mom's, and I went to close a bar with the bridal party (too fun, but what happens at the bar stays at the bar!!). I didn't get back to his mom's house until 3:30, and even then, I was too jazzed to sleep. Megan and Trey will be back Sunday, and I'm going up with the girls on Monday to help open presents, look at pictures, and re-live it all over again with them. (And MG is going to spend a couple days with Grandma! YAY!)

I guess I should explain why I'm writing about all this in so much detail, because I know that my average reader scrolled through the pictures and then clicked "next." This is for the family members who couldn't be with us, and for me and my terrible memory so that I can re-read this in a year or ten when I've lost the details, and for Megan and Trey, so they can see what their special day looked like through someone else's eyes.

It was the most wonderful day, and I want to go back and live it over and over again. What are we going to do next? Mom? Megan?? We need a project!! I feel like I have post-wedding depression. I just can't believe it's all over.

Congratulations Megan and Trey!

Mimi and Trey Got Married

Girls in white dresses with chocolate brown sashes,

Maria Blanco painted our eyelashes,

Gorgeous balloons with sunshine on their strings,

These were a few of my favorite things.

Burgundy nails from the manis and pedis,

Luncheons prepared by the Pattis and Bettis,

Ws everywhere, dropped silver rings,

These were a few of my favorite things.

Friday's rehearsal and seeing our family,

Friends and great cocktails and golf that was scrambly,

Beautiful couple fulfilling their dreams,

These were a few of my favorite things.

Four thousand roses, but really, who's counting?

Beautiful bridesmaids and groomsmen were clowning,

Eating and laughing and dancing the swing,

These were a few of my favorite things.

Ed taking photos with all of us laughing,

Pics on the fire truck, the fountain was splashing,

It all will be featured in this magazine,

These were a few of my favorite things.

Now it's over,

What will we do?

It makes me so sad.

But we'll always remember our favorite things,

And that will make us so glad.

As more pictures get uploaded today and throughout the week, I will post more photos...  You do not want to miss them, because I am not exaggerating in the slightest about the roses.  Really, everything was spectacular from my sister in her amazing gown right down to the slightest detail - like the hors d'oeuvres.  My girls did an amazing job as flower girls, too.  I'll write more of a "narrative" of the weekend after gymnastics today (during nap!).  I have a new laptop waiting for me at the office (hooray!!), so I'll need to set that up and get all the pictures transferred.  

Of course, my camera battery pooped out before we even got to the ceremony.  Oh well.  Ed should get his uploaded today, and he said I could put them on Ye Ol' Blog.  If I'm in your feed reader, please don't get annoyed with the frequent posts over the next few days.  I want to do only a few pictures per post so that they don't take a thousand years to load.  Thanks, Barbara Darling, for the pictures above!

Why So Quiet?

Sorry. I've been super distracted by my sister's wedding (next weekend!) and have about ten zillion things to do to get the PBs and BJ and Max and myself ready to go to Grammaland, and consequently I just haven't had a lot to say the last few days.

I spent yesterday making hair bows for the girls (they're both flower girls - we'll see how that goes! Fortunately I'm the MoH, so all they have to do is walk from Aunt Mimi at the back of the chapel to Mommy at the front, and hopefully do it without running or falling in their ivory dresses). I also bought them the cutest dresses for the rehearsal dinner - Oh My God are they going to look sassy! The ivory shoes for the wedding finally came in and they fit. Unfortunately, I can't get the people at Sweet Soles to e-mail me back about returning the first set, boo hiss! So, if you're reading this Sweet Soles people, check your damn e-mail and write me back, already, because I don't need two sets of two pair of ivory shoes, one of which doesn't fit my kids.

I suppose I could wait and sell them on eBay in the spring, but that seems like a gigantic pain in the ass. I will just continue to put a nastygram about Sweet Soles on my blog every time I post until I get satisfaction. So click through the link (so they'll see a spike in traffic from this site, get curious, and click back here). And if you're from Sweet Soles, e-mail me pronto at prbabies@gmail.com because I will put a hex on you and you will go out of business if I do not receive satisfaction!

Think I'm kidding? I am powerful. The neighbor across the street had a seriously annoying dog. I wished the dog away, and not only did the guy have to get rid of the dog due to allergies (I know this because the person who was going to adopt the dog from him came to my door by mistake, when he came to get the dog) but the guy lost his house to foreclosure a short time later. (House is still for sale, if you want to be the PB's neighbor!). Back when BJ was an undergrad, he was sitting in class and a pretty girl sat next to him. But because I had planned ahead and put a hex on him, his nose started running and he spent the rest of class sniffling and snorting, and the pretty girl never spoke to him. HA! This is just a small sampling of my phenomenal cosmic powers, so don't screw with me Sweet Soles, or you'll be sorry!

I wish I could put a hex on my housework and make the mountain of laundry that I need to wash, dry, fold, and put away today disappear. I've tried, though, and I just end up shrinking things and turning all of BJ's underwear pink.

So, if you need a little limestone house next door to me, a pair of toddler sized ivory shoes (size 2 or 11-1/2), pink underwear, a custom-made hair bow (pictures coming soon), or a hex on someone (annoying internet store, annoying neighbor dog, significant other...) let me know. This really is a full-service blog.

In Which I Experiment With Spray Tan

As I've mentioned on Facebook, I went to a spa today to get a spray tan.

Let me back up...  My sister is getting married in 3 weeks and I have been really bad about using sunscreen since, oh, forever...  And so I am striped.  Random farmers keep coming up to me and saying, "Nice tan, there.  Are you in corn or soy?  How many acres?"  And of course Megan chose strapless dresses.  So, I need to even myself up a bitlot.

However, I am frightened of the whole tanning bed scene.  For one thing, it sounds hot, and I don't do hot.  What if I sweat?  Do I have to clean the puddle of sweat out of the bed, or does someone else do that?  Do I tip the sweat cleaner?  Will the pool of sweat magnify the UV rays and, like an ant under a magnifying glass, cause my butt to burn?  For another, it'll probably just make the darker spots darker, and that's not going to work because I'll just be a darker shade of striped.  For a third, you have to wait for it to wear off, and I don't want to wait.  I don't wait well.  Especially when I'm orange.

So, spray tanning seemed like a logical solution.  Of course, all I could think about was this:

(Oh, Friends, how I miss you...)

So I went today to do a little fact finding while the kids were with Allison (and I was supposed to be at work).

The salon/spa place was really nice and clean, in spite of the fact that it's in kind of a crappy old 70s era strip mall.  The girl was really nice.  I explained my concerns.

"It only lasts 4 to 7 days," she said.

"See, I have kind of ridiculous luck, and I know that if I do it for the first time 3 days before the wedding, I will either end up orange or I will break out in hives.  If I break out in hives, I'll have to take Benedryl, but then I'll hit the open bar and I'll end up passed out under the cake table or something..."

But I didn't want to pay the $40 fee twice!  I didn't even spray tan before my OWN wedding!

So, I talked her into just doing a test spray on my stomach, so I could see if I like the color and whether or not I break out in hives or welts or horrible, oozing boils from whatever magic solution they put in the air brush gun thingie.

I am such an optimist.

The girl agreed to take me back into the room to do my little demo tan on my stomach.  She tells me to get undressed, and then she'll come back in and do the airbrushing by hand.  I must have looked at her like, "Huh?" because I was still thinking about Ross ("I'm an 8!"  "Mississippilly?"), and she explained that they do it all by hand.  There's no anonymous room with a booth.  There's just this tiny little perfectly bodied college girl, and me.

In my granny panties.

Because you KNOW that I didn't plan ahead to do this.  Oh no.  I was wearing my Hanes Her Ways that are older than both of my children.

Combined.

The door into the room where she took me was directly behind the giant plate glass window, and if you had stood at the front desk and merely glanced to the right, or if you'd happened to be walking by at just at the right time, you would've seen me.  In my granny panties.  And nothing more.

So what's the protocol, here?  I'm not really a spa girl.  I've gone ONCE before, when my friends chipped in to get me a gift certificate for my birthday, and there was a lot less nudity.  There was no airbrushing.

The only thing I could come up with, short of hiding in the closet and then popping out and yelling "Surprise!" when she got back, was to stand inside the door and to the side, so that I wasn't immediately visible to everyone on State Road 52 when she opened the door.  She came in (after about an hour and a half, they always give me about ten times more time to undress than I need...  Whether I'm at the spa or the doctor or whatever...  What are other people doing in there for 20 minutes?  Am I supposed to be doing something that I'm not?) and looked at me like I was a little stupid.

"I was afraid if I stood anywhere else I might flash your UPS guy or something," I stammered.

She was so sweet.  She didn't laugh at me until after I left.

So she takes me in this shower, basically, and warns me that the airbrushing machine is a little loud.  She tells me that it might feel cold.

Since the salon was about 40 degrees inside, I kind of expected that.

The actual spraying tickled like crazy.  Amazingly, I neither broke out in hives nor turned orange.  It's actually a very subtle color.  So crazy, it just might work! 

Then after a few awkward moments when I wasn't sure where to put my arms, or my boobs, she turned on the fan and left me to dry.

At least she wasn't there to watch me as I tried jogging in place (still only in my granny panties, of course) to keep warm as the fan dried me off.  There was probably a hidden camera - look for video on YouTube.  I was just beginning to wonder if they trained aesthetiticians in how to treat frostbite, when she came in and told me that I was probably dry enough and that I could get dressed and come out.

Finally warmish, I was standing at the desk making an appointment for a facial this weekend, and for a Level 1 Spray Tan (all over!) on the Thursday before the wedding, when guess who walked in?  The UPS GUY!  And I started cracking up, because it takes a while for the nervous laughter thing to wear off with me, and stammering about how he almost saw me naked, and he looked at me like I had completely lost my mind, and left.

All of this is what led to my Facebook status, earlier today, which was:

"Amy just went and got her first spray tan, on her tummy.  My stretch marks now look so sexy!"

In my next life, I want to be a man.

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

In my usual weekend style, I scheduled the heck out of us this past weekend. Saturday morning I made Harvest Grain and Nut Pancakes (a la IHOP) at home (which, of course, required a trip to the store, but they were gooood), then we went to BJ's dad's farm for a bit to throw sticks. Then we brought BJ home and drove up to Grammaland to spend the night at Jenny's (just the girls and I, BJ went to Brandon's for the evening) on Saturday. We had a blast watching "Movie Python" and Dennis Leary after my kids went to bed. The hour time change really makes a difference when you're 1 and a half or 3. Jenny and I were up late and then up early. Sunday morning we all went to the apple orchard, picked a peck of apples, got some awesome donuts, and drove home to get Mary Grace to the neighbor's birthday party at McDonald's. Then, after running around frantically to get dressed and straighten up the house, BJ and I went out for dinner with Paul, who I hadn't seen in 16 years (and saying that makes me feel SO old), then went to see Lewis Black at the university. (Thanks for watching the kids, Grandpa Bob!! They had a "big time" according to Mary Grace). Afterwards, while we were waiting for the parking garage to clear out, we walked over to the Union and got a drink at Fourbucks, walked up to the impressive new building on the opposite corner of campus, then walked back to our car. Of course, both the kids woke up before we got ourselves to bed, so we stayed up dealing with them. Today we had gymnastics at 10:30, then after the class at 11 the instructor let us play in "the pit" - a deep, wide hole in the floor that's deeper than I am tall, filled with 6" cubes of foam) and on the trampoline, and with whatever we wanted. It was a blast.

I am exhausted.

I'll tell you what, folks, I never worked this hard when I worked. Being a stay-at-home-most-of-the-time Mom is the toughest job I've ever had. But gosh we have fun!

The kids were really good. They do so much better when we're busy. It's being bored at home that drives them insane.

So, as a reward for really making me proud this weekend, even though we were here there and everywhere, I took them to Tuesday Morning after gymnastics today, to get them new dress up clothes.

The pictures really truly speak for themselves - enjoy!






I couldn't believe that they could walk in those shoes!!! Especially Claire. It's a wonder I don't have four twisted ankles at this house.




Mama's tiny flapper! Isn't she gorgeous? Even in sequins. And Mary Grace, too. Underneath all the spangles, she's such a beautiful little girl.

But still, we're going to look like total idiots at the grocery store.