The Best Experiment

We're going swimming at the country club with my friend Kaity and Gracie today, which makes me feel very Mad Men, but before we go, there's something I've been meaning to tell you about for a while, and I keep forgetting (particularly when I sit down and think, "What should I write about?" I draw a complete blank and end up checking Facebook, instead.  Bad blogger!)

This post should be called "The Best Experiment I Never Meant To Do" but that's too long.

When I was pregnant with Jack I got a new CD - Ben Folds Presents: University a Cappella! - and there's this beautiful song (track 8) called Magic.  I've posted it before.



It has become the official soundtrack of 2011.

But rewind to 2010, when I was pregnant and the CD was new and I hadn't heard this song 73,283 times.  Since I was a teenager, whenever I find a song that I want to learn the words to, I sing it over and over and over until the words stick.  That's what you do, too, right?  I'm not the only one holding very repetitive concerts in my car, am I?

Apparently I decided to learn this song at a very critical moment in Jack's prenatal development, because he remembers it, too.

Shortly after he was born we were in the car and he was fussing.  Magic came on the radio, and he stopped.  Instantly.  And when the song was over, he started fussing again.  So I played the song again.  And he stopped.

Coincidence?  Maybe.  But it has been working consistently for over 6 months, now.  The song Magic is magic when it comes to Jack. 

If you're pregnant, I encourage you to choose a song that you love (preferably a slow, soothing one, although Baby Got Back worked for Ross and Rachel's baby), and sing it over and over and over while you're pregnant.  Sing it at least once every time you get in the car.  Then report back after your baby's born and tell me if your baby's magic song is magical, too.

Just be sure to choose a song you won't get sick of easily, because if you're like us, you'll hear it a squajillion times before your kid is one.

(Stay tuned, because we've got the castle bunkbeds painted, and I'm going to be posting pictures as soon as BJ can take a break from work to get everything assembled again!)

Baby Cakes

My friend Sarah shared a VERY cute idea last time I saw her, and my friends Jim and Karen used it this weekend.

Instead of having the ultrasound technician tell them the baby's gender during their 20 week ultrasound, they had her write it in an envelope and seal it.  They kept the envelope for weeks, showing enormous restraint that I, personally, do not possess.  Finally, Jim brought it over to my house on Thursday, and I went to the nearest bakery as quickly as possible to remove the temptation to peek.  I instructed the bakery to make the filling between the layers of white cake pink for a girl and blue for a boy.

Then Saturday, BJ picked up the cake and again with the temptation!  I thought of half a dozen ways to peek, but I didn't.  Karen picked the cake up Saturday night when she dropped me off from my birthday celebration, and we waited some more (longest.  weekend.   ever...) until she cut it at her son's birthday party on Sunday afternoon.  I had sent an e-mail to the guests instructing them to wear pink if they guessed it was a girl, and blue if they guessed it was a boy.

Karen and Jim have three wonderful little boys.  And she's pregnant with...  A GIRL!

The best part was watching and hearing everyone react to the news.  Her oldest sons hugged each other and jumped up and down.  You would've thought they won the lottery!  And everyone cheered and cried and hugged and laughed.  It was such a cool moment.

It almost makes me want to have a fourth so I can have a baby cake!

Hooray babies!  Congratulations Jim and Karen!!!

I Nest Wrong

Some people go on vacation when they're expecting.  Others will get massages, manis, and pedis at the spa.  What do we do?  Home repair and improvement.  Nesting generally isn't supposed to involve this many power tools.  But our girls wanted bunkbeds, and because of the wonky ceiling and enormous window in their room, the pre-fab one wouldn't fit...  So, we improvised.

Here's the before:

There is no potential for head injury here!  Let's elevate this bedroom!

That's better!

Mommy spent a LOT of time sanding.  We can't have our princesses pricking their fingers and then sleeping for 100 years, after all. 

Oh wait, that was a spinning wheel.  Well, whatever.  Look at all that dust!

Then Daddy sanded for a while.

So, now that we have the major structures in place, BJ is at the hardware store trying to figure out a solution for the stairs and/or ladder.  I guess what he had planned isn't working.  Some kind of saw malfunction or something.  I think leaving them this way would really cut down on the number of times the kids get up during the night, but I'd probably end up changing the sheets more often.  Do you think we could teach them to use chamber pots?

Anyway, once we have the ladder/stairs done, we'll cut the facing that will go on the front out of plywood.  Each loft will look like a castle tower, we're going to paint them gray and then sponge on some stone, maybe some arrow slits or windows or something...

...then we're going to get two identical bookshelves to put on either side (where the dressers are now), and we're going to paint the backs of the bookshelves to look castle-y too.

BJ has plans for a drawbridge in between.

We need to clear out the rug (pictured above, all rolled up and stuck against the bed) and the stand for the fish tank (BJ thinks that we should sink it into the floor to make it a moat, but I don't want fish in my bedroom ceiling). 

We have a LOT of painting to do, but I can't really do it when I'm pregnant, so it'll have to wait.  Mary Grace wants her bed "hot pink" (behind the tower face) and Claire wants hers "hot purple." 

Once we're all finished, all the stuffed animals will become Royal Subjects, and they shall move upstairs.  All the dress up clothes will make their way up to the Royal Wardrobe, too.  It should really make the family room look cleaner once we're done.

So that's what we did on our Thanksgiving break.  And now I'm thankful that BJ's going back to work tomorrow, so that I can rest!

Clutter Threshold Status - Breached

(I had to look up whether it was "breached" or "breeched.")

Everywhere I look in my house, there is clutter.  There is not a single flat surface anywhere in this house that doesn't have something on it.  More likely than "something" is "a lot of somethings" and even occasionally "enough crap that the table/counter/dresser is bowing under the weight."

I could never be one of those people with hoarding disorder.  When the crap builds up to a certain level, I snap.  I start throwing things into the trash and the Goodwill pile with reckless abandon.  Once we get to that point, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

I've already cleaned the kitchen today, and I cleaned out the front hall closet.  I'm about to attack the toyroom. 

While BJ was home for lunch he helpfully put Mary Grace's Lego robot up....  on the mantle.  And I snapped.  "Are you kidding me?  Really?" 

I mean, it's a nice robot and all, but it certainly isn't something that needs to be displayed on the mantle like a trophy. 

If you're reading this and you're BJ, I refer you to yesterday's post, posted this morning, and the second bullet point specifically.

It's just not fair - there are three of them (five, if you count the pets, which in this case you should) and one of me, and they can mess things up a LOT faster than I can clean. 

So, if you're in the mood to clean and organize, come on over.  Bring your shovel.  And if I haven't come out within 24 hours, that probably means there was an avalanche.  Send rescue.  Chances are that I'm buried under a pile of Lego.

Consuming Mass Quantities

The women of my family have warped me. I can't do Christmas without cookies. Last night I made rocky road bark, buckeyes, gingersnaps, and the dough for Pioneer Woman's awesome cinnamon rolls. Today I made Great Grandma Shank's peanut butter cookies (with Hershey Kisses, so I guess they're "blossoms"), and finished the rolls. I'm waiting on the dishwasher (because literally, I've used every bowl and spoon and cup in my house) so that I can make cappuccino crinkles (BJ's favorite), spritz (for the kids to decorate), some coconut thing I found online (but I'm out of powdered sugar, so those will have to wait until BJ and MG get home with more powdered sugar - who knew I'd need 3 bags??). Dad brought over four new half-sheet pans for me, and helped wrangle the kids (who were up past 11 on a sugar high last night).

I'm starting to feel Christmassy. :)

But seriously, I don't need this many baked goods lying around. It's very dangerous. My whole house smells like cinnamon and sin. Just breathing I'm gaining weight, folks.

I had MG paint some green and red paper with red, green, and white paint, and I'm going to cut those up to make gift tags. They didn't turn out quite how I wanted, but she's 3. I'm trying to dial back the pressure.

What cookies say "Christmas" to you? Most people do decorated sugar cookies, but 1) I hate making rolled cookies, and 2) I suck at the decorating. In the past I've bought them from a baker up in Brookston who makes the most beautiful cookies. They're almost too pretty to eat. Almost. A lot of people do those Russian wedding cakes at Christmas, too. I'm out of powdered sugar, though. Can you make powdered sugar? If I put regular sugar in the blender, would it powder? Aunt Julie makes peanut brittle and English toffee every year. Oh, English toffee... I could make that... As if I need any more projects. Haha! I don't think I have a candy thermometer, either. Would a digital meat thermometer work? Oh, and cream cheese mints! I tried those one year, and they turned out really badly - I couldn't get the molds to work.

My cookies may not be pretty, but they sure taste good. The Rocky Road Bark I made is sinful, and so easy. You just melt a pound and a half of bittersweet chocolate over a double boiler, and then add 6 ounces of marshmallows, a cup of unsalted dry roasted peanuts, and about half a package of chocolate covered mini graham crackers (Keebler), broken into bits. Then you put foil down on a half-sheet pan, spray the crap out of it with Pam, and spread the mixture out evenly. Stick them in the fridge (or the garage) for a couple of hours (while you make more cookies) then break them into pieces. Easy peasy. And they're really good.

Are you getting an idea of how deeply this sickness runs in me? I haven't even showered, today, and it's almost 3 pm. Maybe I should go do that while the dishwasher is finishing. And I could start some laundry.

Nah, I'd rather make cookies!

Shutterfly ROCKS

I just got a $50+ leather 8x10 photo book for less than half price ($24 and change) using coupon codes at Shutterfly...  And folks, I have ordered and/or been given several photo books from Shutterfly, and they are extremely high quality keepsakes (especially for persons like myself who are, shall we say, scrapbooking impaired).

The coupon codes were 69AUTUMN and 68AUTUMN (but I hear they expire tonight, so sorry, you don't have much time to use them).  The first is for $10 off, and the second is for free shipping.

Y'all, if you aren't Googling "coupon code {storename}" every single time you shop online, you are wasting a ton of money.  A TON.  Get in the habit of Googling before you buy.  "Coupon Code Shutterfly" comes up with thousands of hits, and if you're patient and willing to try a few losers before you find a winner, you can save huge money.  Huge!

Go forth, and shop some more!

(I put together a photo book of pictures from our August trip to Washington DC, by the way.)

((Their new photo book editing software makes it really easy and, dare I say it?, FUN to create photo books)).

(((I am not getting paid to endorse Shutterfly, or receiving coupons or anything like that... I just really love to share good stuff I find on the web with my beloved blogdience))).

((((Blog-audience.  It's late.  I'm making up words now.  And grossly abusing parentheses)))).

Progress

Both bathrooms are clean, the laundry is laundering, the kitchen is clean and the dishwasher is ready for new, dirty dinner dishes to be loaded. I need to vacuum, but my kid sister keeps hassling me to write part of her wedding ceremony! No pressure or anything, it's just going to be on video for all posterity for the rest of time. I can't do it, because I'm afraid that she'll hate it, or he'll hate it, or they will both hate it together. It's just too much pressure! And I have to give a toast, too! *headdesk*

It is especially difficult because I am haunted, yes haunted, by what the minister said during our wedding ceremony. He said, and I have the video to prove it, "The great theologian, Tina Turner, once asked, 'What's love got to do with it?'"

Granted, I know this is 100% my fault. I asked him to say something personal - something off script - to make the service memorable. But Tina Turner??? A) wrong decade, we're more of a Janet Jackson age; B) her husband beat the tar out of her until C) she left him!

Not exactly the sort of imagery I want to evoke during my wedding ceremony. People still laugh about it. At least it was memorable...

So, dear readers, I need your help. Tell me about the best wedding words you've ever heard spoken. It could be your wedding, someone else's, even one that you saw on TV or in a movie. What wedding words have moved you to tears? What do you wish someone said at your wedding? And, perhaps most importantly, what do you wish had been left unsaid?

State of Emergency

Yesterday I mentioned that I have been neglecting my housekeeping duties because I've been reading a really good book. As soon as I hit "publish" I realized that I have neglected the commitment I made to write a review of Knock Yourself Up by Louise Sloan, and I immediately felt extremely guilty.

But seriously - my house is at DEFCON 1 (DEFCON being short for Definitely Condemned) and I had set aside the next 8 hours to whip it back into shape. We are completely, and I do mean completely, out of diapers. We are nearly out of toilet paper. I can no longer blame the mess on the kitchen project, as the mess has spread and is now inhabiting every corner of every room in my house. My dust bunnies have dust bunnies. It's BAD. It's so bad I'm tempted to call a service and have it done for me, until I realize that I'd have to spend all day cleaning to get it clean enough for the service to do their thing, and it would just be easier and cheaper to do it myself.

I can't even find the book I am supposed to review!

So I'm going to throw on clothes and run to Walmart, to arm myself with diapers, toilet paper, and cleaning supplies. That'll give the AC a chance to dehumidify the house so you don't find me, stroked out, in a bathroom up to my elbows in Comet and humiliation.

When I come up for air, I'll sit down and write the review, Louise, I promise... and I'm sorry it has taken me so long. So stay tuned, kids. It's this kind of excitement that keeps you coming back day after day, right?

(Image borrowed from www.babble.com/cs/blogs/strollerderby)

Giveaway!!!!

So, finally all the grandmas have received their Mother's Day gifts, and I can show them to you. Check out what I did!

Since I am not at all crafty, this was a triumph! I picked out a background color that would sort of match the house of the grandma it was going to (the one above went to Grandma Diana). The two blue ones, I made for myself. I just love the way MG's ponytail overhangs the matte. BJ said that it is representative of how uncontainable her personality is.

In honor of my one year blogging anniversary, which is Monday, I will be making a custom silhouette for one of you, my beloved readers! All you have to do is e-mail me profile digital photos of your kids (or dogs, or whatever), and tell me what background color you want, and I will mail you a silhouette just like the ones above. Even if you have 5 kids, go ahead and enter (although, if you're a Duggar, you may have to pick your 5 favorites!).

Here's how you enter: Leave a comment with your e-mail address (it's fine to use the format prbabies (at) gmail (dot) com to avoid bots), and tell me what your favorite Pretty Babies post of the last year was. I'll select a random winner on Monday and I'll contact you by e-mail.

Thanks so much for reading. This has been an amazing year. I'm so glad you've all come with us on this journey.

Mother's Day is Officially Over - Back to Work!

Claire decided that today was a good day to wake up when the clock still read 5:something. She is currently asleep in her high chair. But the rest of us, we are awake. Good thing I got to sleep in yesterday.

I have decided that I have been too much of a pushover with the potty training issue, so I told MG a couple of days ago that Today Is The Day. We had to scream and cry to get the panties on her, and she is currently sitting on the potty watching Disney Channel. I told her that she could watch Cinderella if she peed in the potty. She has a drink over there, and I'm not sure WHY it has taken her 45 minutes (and counting) to make a drop of pee, but, hey, at least she's quiet and entertained. I got breakfast together, checked my e-mail and blogs, and now I'm posting. I should've thought of this months ago. She can just live on the throne while we're at home. No problem.

I think we're in a battle of wits right now, though. She is saying, "You can lead me to the potty, but you can't make me pee," and I'm saying, "You're going to sit there until you pee," and so we'll see what happens.

I've just had it. I'm through being wishy washy. She's been trying to change her own diapers. Clearly she's ready. I've explained that no one changes her own diapers - the next step is using the big girl potty - but she just does not agree. Supernanny would say that the reason she is not yet trained is because I haven't put my foot down. Well, Supernanny, the foot is down. The panties are on. The diapers are only for nap and bedtime. We'll see.

I need to postpone my Mother's Day Giveaway because my mother-in-law is out of town, so she hasn't received hers yet and I don't want to spoil the surprise. So.... We'll do it next Monday, to commemorate my One Year Blogging Anniversary!

I hope you all have a great, accident free day!

I do this every time...

Stupid gardening. I have $100 worth of stuff in my virtual cart at burpee.com, I'm researching grow lights, and I'm thinking insane things like, "I could put raised beds along the cul-de-sac side of our yard, which would keep Max out of them (because it's outside the fence) and I could grow all of our food for the next year!!"

Nevermind the fact that I know nothing about canning or preserving (nor do I have anywhere to store a ton of canned and/or preserved food). Nevermind that I can't even grow flowers, much less food that won't kill us. Nevermind that I'm pretty sure it would look totally stupid to have a garden on that side of the house. Nevermind that I don't even really think I like gardening very much (Hello. Bugs.)... I just can't have a couple of stupid tomato plants. I have to have an expensive, overwhelming project that I'm going to hate in a month when it's too much work. Then I'm going to have an eyesore when the whole thing dies (after attracting every critter in a 30 mile radius, of course), and goes to seed.

No, Amy. No, no, no. Thou shalt not. Just be happy with your 25 stupid cherry tomato plants and your 25 stupid zucchini plants that you're starting from seed. Only half of those will live to get planted outside (if that). And only half of those will survive, leaving you with a reasonable number of actual plants (6 or 7) to get actual tomatoes and zucchinis from. Do NOT start some factory-farm-in-the-city operation that is going to make you hate life all summer long. Because you do this every time (see also: the guitar you never play, the sewing machine you never use, the paints that were never opened, the multiple containers of scrapbooking crap that's collecting dust...). Buying the stuff and dreaming about what you could do is what you're good at. Actual implementation is not your bag. Chill.

I got a packet of flower seeds for the front, a packet of herbs to do a manageable 3 foot container herb garden, and the aforementioned tomatoes and zucchinis, and IF all goes well this year, and IF it doesn't all die immediately, and IF I don't hate life until the first frost when I can quit babying the garden already (because, really, I need something else to take care of...), then maybe we'll think about expanding my little garden empire in 2009. However, this is not the year of the giant garden. I must show some self-restraint (for a change).

This is the year of the manageable garden, and the year of not screwing myself over.

Spring Project

As soon as I feel like getting shoes and coats on, we're going to Menards to buy seeds to start our container garden plants.

I was going to do the farm co-op, but they doubled their prices on me from 2007 to 2008. Just my luck. Technically we could afford it, but if I'm going to spend $500 a year on produce, it's going to be cleaned, cooked, and served by someone else.

So I've been reading about "square foot gardening" and container gardening and I think we're going to do some tomatoes and zucchini in the back yard. Maybe I'll do a container of herbs, too. Depends on what I find at Menards, seed wise.

Those of you who know me are laughing right now, because I have two black thumbs. I can't grow plants. Not at all. My house is where plants come to die. I have even cited this as evidence why I shouldn't be allowed to have kids... I mean, if I can't keep a fern alive, how am I going to keep kids alive. See, the problem is that plants don't cry when they want something. Kids do.

Does anyone know of a variety of crying tomatoes?

So, stay tuned to see how our garden grows. If nothing else, it'll be something to keep us busy a few times a week...

(Please leave any and all gardening tips in the comments - I need all the help I can get!!)

Today's project: Pretzels

Currently, in my oven, there sits a large bowl full of dough that, hopefully, is happily doubling as we speak. Assuming that the yeast wasn't dead, we will be making soft pretzels for today's Valentine's themed treat.

Why? Because they look like a hug.

I never used to understand how a bunch of adults (teachers) could get so excited about a bunch of Hallmark holidays. Now I understand - holidays, and the associated crafts and whatnot, break up the monotony of the regular days. You can only draw so many Mickey Mouse heads before you're all like, "For the love of God, already, I need an excuse to draw hearts!" You know? So, I've embraced the whole Hallmark-Holiday-Themed-Activity-Goodness (see yesterday's cookies, above). I even have Valentine's day clings on the window in the screen door. Because, you know, that's how I roll.

And I'm really looking forward to covering my pretzel with Nutella. Mmmmm....

In other news, Claire is defying gravity these days by climbing everything. She is such a monkey. It's not going to be any time at all before she's walking. I'm resisting the urge to tie her feet together!!

I just showed MG that Youtube video of Defying Gravity, and now we have to go watch the whole show...

Cookies

We made cookies tonight (see above). They taste like slightly sweet crackers with a lot of shortening on top of them, but they look just lovely!

If you want to stop by for a yucky Valentine's cookie tomorrow, you're welcome to! I have about 2 dozen.

The last couple of batches of cookies I've made have sucked. I always roll cut outs too thin. Must work on that...

MG did a lot more licking of icing and M&Ms than actual decorating. How does one teach a two year old that you don't lick the cookies you're decorating, you're only allowed to lick your own cookie? I guess it's one of those lessons that must be repeated over and over and over.

I have a feeling that none of you will be stopping by for cookies tomorrow. Talk about a ringing endorsement!! I promise I threw away all the licked ones. But they're still yucky. Oh well. Stop by anyway. We'll have coffee, instead.

You have to see this...

Didn't this turn out great?



What a cool idea. I'm proud to have been a part of it (I'm the one whose blog name took up half the screen... In my defense, having your URL on there was part of the instructions! *blush*)

Four, encore

This is just stupid.

Both the kids woke up at 4 am. I got them both back to sleep, then I settled in to go back to sleep myself, and... no.

I realized that I was thirsty, so I got up, got a drink, etc. and went back to bed.... no.

Mind racing. Thinking, of all things, about decorating the bedroom, for God's sake. Thinking about going all HGTV and getting some pretty decorator fabric to make a headboard for the bed, maybe cutting up and stapling the foam mattress topper that we don't use anymore (hazardous when sleeping with babies) to a piece of plywood, and then covering it with fabric... Gonna need a staple gun. Have been wanting one, anyway, because apparently that and some paint is all you need to decorate, if Trading Spaces is to be believed... Could use strips of the same fabric to tie back new curtains.... Liking that idea, how long? Maybe 2 ft. long and 4 in. wide? No, that would be too long. 16 inches. Yeah, ok. Paint? Maybe. Then get a light blue roller shade to go behind curtains. That would block light and insulate, and oh shut up already, mental voice, it's 4:30 am!!!!!

I mean, really! Thou shalt not decorate before 8 am. My inner Martha needs to go to freaking sleep, already.

I read a chapter in my book. Mind still racing. Now I'm mentally blogging. I'm mentally blogging about how I can't go back to sleep. How am I going to make this funny? Oh, for God's sake, if I'm going to mentally blog, I might as well get up and blog.

Did I tell you I had a dream the other night where something funny happened, and I found a computer lab and said, "Look out, people, I need to blog this,"? That's how committed I am to bringing you all a quality blog - I'm now blogging in my sleep.

Then Claire woke up, again, at 5 am. After I got her back to sleep, again, I decided to just get up. Maybe I'll do some online Christmas shopping or something. At least today's Monday, and I can take a nap with the girls this afternoon.

But seriously, this is ridiculous.

Procrastination and Progress

I just can't face the kitchen. We have all the stuff to do the tile, but finding a time to drag it all out and do it is just overwhelming. So, instead of making progress on the first project, we're doing what we always do - starting a couple dozen other mini-projects that will make us feel better about the fact that we're procrastinating on the kitchen, while still allowing us to procrastinate on the kitchen.

So, the new stuff came for the bedroom, and we rearranged the furniture, put up the new curtains (not wide enough, DAMN!) and put the new linens on the bed. We ditched one dresser (out of four) and relocated it to the guest room. Of course, the guest room was an absolute disaster, so I got it all straightened around so there was room to put the dresser in there. I have two boxes plus for Goodwill, and a bunch of stuff to return to people. We also moved some furniture around downstairs. I think my grandma's old sewing cabinet will make a sort of cool makeshift nightstand for BJ, and it matches the new chocolate/blue thing I have going on up there. We put the huge coffee table in the living room instead of the toy room. I packed up some "guys" for Goodwill.

I can't remember the last time every room in the house was clean, probably because it was before we lived here.

I have been Extremely Productive, in spite of the fact that I'm a shameless procrastinator.

This is especially remarkable, considering that both the girlies have colds, and BJ has been at work all day.

It seems to be going around. My mom was re-doing the whole upstairs of her house when I talked to her this morning, and my sister was hating her bedroom and wanting to repaint. Is it something about the impending holidays, or the cold weather driving everyone inside?

I know one thing for certain - my kitchen may be a work in progress for the next year or so, but the rest of my house is going to look fabulous.

Homecoming

I've never been a sports fan, so Homecoming has never been a big deal to me. Today, however, they dedicated the new Aerospace building at our alma mater, so we went to see Neil Armstrong speak (they named the building after him). Gene Cernan spoke, too, as did the president of the university. The director of NASA was there, but he didn't speak. It was a nice event. Mary Grace liked the balloon release best.

Afterwards we walked around a bit. We saw the alumni band and the alumni cheerleaders, as well as the current band and cheerleaders as they were lining up to go to the stadium for the game against Northwestern. We tried to find a balloon for MG, but the best we could do was a temporary tattoo for her cheek.

We then walked through the new building to warm up, and ran into a bunch of our friends and colleagues. Unfortunately, Mary Grace chose that moment to melt down, so we had to leave to take care of nap. It was an enjoyable morning, and it made me regret all the Homecomings that I've missed.

Next weekend is Fall Space Day, so we might return for that.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, we have a major renovation going on in our kitchen. Unfortunately, it's a completely unscheduled renovation, and we really can't afford it right now. However, the lighting fixture in the kitchen fell apart. We thought it was because the upstairs sink was somehow leaking into it, but that turned out not to be the case. (The plumber I called when things started sparking and sizzling, and lights started to flicker, said that it wasn't leaking - he said, "You need an electrician, and seeing as you have small kids, you need one today." Eek.)

The kitchen light is all rusted inside due to condensation. All the moisture came from the dryer vent, which runs through the soffit above the cabinets in my kitchen. BJ had to make 4 holes of various sizes in the wall to find the break (right at the lowest elbow, of course, in the last place we looked). At one point he hit a live electrical wire with the saw (what was THAT doing there? Holding up the dryer vent, of course! We just love this house...), which caused sparking and scariness. I mean, the dryer has been blasting that wall full of lint for years (it has been a problem since we moved in, but we didn't realize that it was affecting the wiring until recently), so the sparks fell onto dryer lint. No... That's not at all flammable!

Long story short, I've lost two kitchen cabinets to this project, there are holes in my walls, my overhead fixture still doesn't work, and now we have to re-do the floor because BJ scratched the crap out of it when he moved the fridge. So far, I've managed to limit the chaos, but it's not pretty. I get a little anxious when I have to live in a mess, and now the house and the office are all messed up (the office still hasn't recovered from the move).

I'm trying to figure out how I can score a little more counter and/or cabinet space out of this. If we leave the fridge where it is now, we could add about 4 ft. of counter and another upper cabinet or two. We'd need another corner cabinet. It could be done, and it would seriously improve the tightness of my kitchen's triangle, but I don't think we can do it. I also think that it would be a P.I.T.A. to match the kitchen cabinets we already have. Knowing this house, some crazy person custom made them (out of particle board) in his basement, and they don't exist anywhere else in creation. That's just kind of how things go around here. Ask me about trying to match the pattern of the texture on our ceiling (can't be done, because the guy who did it was left-handed! We need to find a left-handed drywall mudder who knows that particular pattern in order to match it! Sheesh...) or the random centers on the ceiling of the family room - not a single one of them was a standard 16 inches. *sigh*

Of course, none of these projects are easy to do with two babies around (that's why the office is still in chaos, too, incidentally). And meanwhile everyone still needs 3 meals and 2 snacks a day, so I have to figure out how to maneuver around the work-in-progress that is our kitchen, while keeping the babies from injuring themselves on tools, and making sure that no one eats the dryer lint that is falling like snow from the ceiling. Fun, fun, fun.

Sometimes I want to go back 4-1/2 years and meet myself when I said that I wanted to buy this house, and I want to punch myself in the face.

Oh, my achin' fingers!

You might think that my fingers hurt because of all the typing, but you'd be wrong. For some reason, I got it in my head that I needed to get out my old guitar, today, and learn to play. I got the guitar for Christmas back when I was in college, and I never sat down and learned to play it. I know a few chords, and because of my cello experience I can pick out a few melodies here and there, but that's it.

I have always wanted to play the guitar. I've always wanted to be that person who is begged at every party to pull out her guitar and play a few songs. I have visions of myself sitting with a bunch of friends and loved ones around a bonfire on a beach, singing folk songs and bringing people joy through my music.

You really can't do that sort of thing with a cello. It's just not practical. You do not want sand in your F holes. (Yes, F holes, get your minds out of the gutter).

I also can't play the piano. I took lessons for eons. I still suck. I lack discipline. I get frustrated that I can't play as well as I want to right now, and so I quit.

This is honestly one of the things I like least about myself. I really lack follow through. I buy all of the equipment and gear for a project, and I'm all excited about it for about 11 minutes, and then I get bored and move on to something else. Consequently I have a whole lot of stuff (sewing machine, scrapbooking accouterments, musical instruments, gardening supplies - and those are just off the top of my head) lying around, and I still can't do anything useful with any of them (ugly totebags notwithstanding).

I love the idea of sitting down with my kids, after the fashion of Maria von Trapp, and belting out "Let's start at the very beginning..." as I teach them to love music by singing "Do Re Mi," so this time I'm going to try to stick with it. I got out the guitar, and the cheat deck for chords that I bought one year at Toys R' Us, on sale, and I got online to figure out how to tune it (hint: you don't want to tune it like a cello, for one thing, there's no B on a cello. For another, cellos only have 4 strings...), and to look up the tabs for some of my favorite songs.

I really need someone to show me how to hold my wrist, because I'm doing it wrong. Maybe I need a neck strap. Maybe when Claire gets up we'll go to the music store (is there one in town? I'll look online...) and buy one. I know I'm holding it wrong, though, because I have a lot of tension in my wrist. That's bad. I need picks, anyway, so we might as well grab a strap while we're there (where? I don't know yet, maybe that place over by Steak and Shake?).

I plan to spend 15 minutes a day until my fingers toughen up, then 30 minutes a day, until I have achieved some respectable level of prowess. Then I will be able to say, "Why yes, I will play a few songs!" at your next Christmas gathering, or at your bonfire, or on Mom's porch while drinking wine. I probably won't be any good by this Christmas, but I'll try. Hold me to this, internet. Don't let me slack!

But I'm done for today, because my fingers are killing me.

My favorite and my best...

As Lola would say, this is my favorite and my best:


After all, it makes perfect sense, considering that they are my world. I wonder how this would print out... I feel a trip to Shutterfly coming on.