Monday, October 13, 2008

Why So Quiet?

Sorry. I've been super distracted by my sister's wedding (next weekend!) and have about ten zillion things to do to get the PBs and BJ and Max and myself ready to go to Grammaland, and consequently I just haven't had a lot to say the last few days.

I spent yesterday making hair bows for the girls (they're both flower girls - we'll see how that goes! Fortunately I'm the MoH, so all they have to do is walk from Aunt Mimi at the back of the chapel to Mommy at the front, and hopefully do it without running or falling in their ivory dresses). I also bought them the cutest dresses for the rehearsal dinner - Oh My God are they going to look sassy! The ivory shoes for the wedding finally came in and they fit. Unfortunately, I can't get the people at Sweet Soles to e-mail me back about returning the first set, boo hiss! So, if you're reading this Sweet Soles people, check your damn e-mail and write me back, already, because I don't need two sets of two pair of ivory shoes, one of which doesn't fit my kids.

I suppose I could wait and sell them on eBay in the spring, but that seems like a gigantic pain in the ass. I will just continue to put a nastygram about Sweet Soles on my blog every time I post until I get satisfaction. So click through the link (so they'll see a spike in traffic from this site, get curious, and click back here). And if you're from Sweet Soles, e-mail me pronto at because I will put a hex on you and you will go out of business if I do not receive satisfaction!

Think I'm kidding? I am powerful. The neighbor across the street had a seriously annoying dog. I wished the dog away, and not only did the guy have to get rid of the dog due to allergies (I know this because the person who was going to adopt the dog from him came to my door by mistake, when he came to get the dog) but the guy lost his house to foreclosure a short time later. (House is still for sale, if you want to be the PB's neighbor!). Back when BJ was an undergrad, he was sitting in class and a pretty girl sat next to him. But because I had planned ahead and put a hex on him, his nose started running and he spent the rest of class sniffling and snorting, and the pretty girl never spoke to him. HA! This is just a small sampling of my phenomenal cosmic powers, so don't screw with me Sweet Soles, or you'll be sorry!

I wish I could put a hex on my housework and make the mountain of laundry that I need to wash, dry, fold, and put away today disappear. I've tried, though, and I just end up shrinking things and turning all of BJ's underwear pink.

So, if you need a little limestone house next door to me, a pair of toddler sized ivory shoes (size 2 or 11-1/2), pink underwear, a custom-made hair bow (pictures coming soon), or a hex on someone (annoying internet store, annoying neighbor dog, significant other...) let me know. This really is a full-service blog.

1 comment:

Momo Fali said...

I would like you to put a hex on my dog's hair. She's shedding like crazy and my vacuum can't keep up. Thank you in advance.