First I beat her, now I'm getting her drunk on. Bad Mommy!Actually, it is TOTALLY BJ's fault that she peed on me. See, we got a new bath mat, and it was apparently terrifying. Two nights ago, the new bathmat caused a screaming neon hissy fit. It took us two and a half hours to get her to sleep (and of course, she didn't get any sort of a bath). So, BJ decides that the best way to get her to accept the terrifying new bath mat is to put on his swim shorts and get in the bath with her.
Excellent idea. Great psychology. 10 points. However, his execution was a bit off.
See, I was in our bed, nursing C. BJ is in the nursery with MG. He takes off all her clothes, including her diaper, and sets her free. Of course, he expected her to run into the bathroom, but that's where the scary bathmat is. So, MG did what any sane toddler would do. She ran and jumped into bed with Mommy and C, who was suddenly no longer sleepy.
I called, "Honey, there is a naked toddler in my bed."
He replies, "Mumble, mumble."
A moment later I said, "Dear, there is now a naked toddler on my pillow!"
At this moment he chose to share the distressing news that he was already in the tub. So, knowing that the bathmat from hell
was lurking right below him, I knew that it was unreasonable to say, "MG, go get in the tub with Daddy," with any expectation of compliance.
So, I rearranged C, picked up MG, and proceeded to take her to the tub. I must have squeezed, though, because when I got there my arm (which had been supporting her naked little bum) was wet. Eeewww...
"Let's do that a different way next time," I gently suggested.
"What do you mean?" asked BJ, whose fault it was that I got peed on.
"For example, in such a way that I don't end up getting peed on," I elaborated.
"Oh, like that's the worst thing* that's happened to you all day!" he minimized. And the sad thing is, he was right. Motherhood is SO glamorous.
* The worst thing was sticking my hand in fresh baby poop, when C unexpectedly had a blow out diaper.
3 comments:
I think the revisionist and inflammatory nature of the post is just fishing for more comments!
For the record, I was merely trying to get into the tub and cover up some of the scary (yet necessary) bathmat before MG entered the bathroom and was reminded it was there. MG, who usually digs having a bath, normally runs right to it after getting her undressed and so I contend it was not unreasonable to assume that she would head right there or come when called.
Furthermore, the first statement of 'there's a naked baby on the bed' didn't cause me to think that you weren't bringing her to me at that moment because I figured that you knew I was already in the bath tub. So, while I accept some responsibility for the mis-communication, I don't accept all of it. :)
Easy for you to say when you're not the one who got peed upon! :P
You two sound like me and Matt!
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