Strange Days

You know, when you're home all damn day most of the time you see stuff... Stuff that you'd never notice if you were at work, instead.

First it was the whole business with the feds. Now this...

This morning Max got loose. This is nothing new. Max could sail right over the fence like she was running a steeplechase, if she so chose, but she hasn't figured that out yet, so don't tell her. Typically Max gets loose when the gates are accidentally left open, or when she sneaks out as I'm trying to get babies and bags and groceries and whatnot in and out of the house. She generally comes back if we open up the car and tell her we're going for a ride. She just wants to go make friends with all the other dogs in the 'hood.

She got out, this time, because the back gate had been left open. So, I called our power company to complain. The very kind woman put a note in my file that said "PLS B SURE G8 SHUT W/ TWISTIE" which, I'm sure, will make complete sense to the meter reader, assuming he speaks txt. I hung up, feeling vindicated.

Then Max started to bark. The meter readers were next door. I went out to chew them out soundly for endangering my dog. Fortunately, before I commenced with the chewing, I realized that they were coming toward my house. "Have you been to my house, yet?" I asked.

"No," they replied.

"That's odd," I said. "I just got off the phone with the power company - I called to complain that you'd left the gate open."

"No, ma'am, you have a remote meter - we don't go in your yard."

"No kidding," I said.

"You know, there's a house down that cul-de-sac, and the door's standing wide open. I didn't want to go in or anything, but I was going to report it..."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," I said. "Thanks."

{Expletive deleted}. That's the nice neighbor's house. Actually, a lot of our neighbors are nice, but this one in particular rescued Max when she got out a couple years ago, and brought her home. We had bought her a nice leash for her dog as a thank you gift.

So, I called the police, expecting them to come and find carnage of some kind. When they got here, they checked the house and nothing was amiss inside. They said they'd check the neighborhood, but it looked like someone had just forgotten to lock the door. Phew.

But it seems like a pretty big coinkeydink, that my gate was standing open (even though no one has a reason to be in my yard - the gas meter is outside the fence), and a neighbor's front door was wide open, just a street away. (This, my friends, is how a normal person like myself turns into the neighborhood busy body, though. All I need is a house coat, ugly slippers, a couple dozen cats, and a pair of binoculars that I use for "birdwatching.")

I e-mailed the neighborhood watch's distribution list, and told everyone to be alert. I am getting a little tired of the drama, though, I'll tell you. I think it might be time to move.