Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Important Announcement

Every time I post about how well MG is doing at potty training, she becomes a little human fountain. It is neither cute nor sanitary, so this will be the last time I post about the potty training. Let's all just assume that she's done, and then I won't have to deal with the karmas anymore.

And since it seems to be Opposite Day here at Prettybabies... and if I post something, it suddenly stops being true, I would just like to report that my house is NOT clean, my family is NOT healthy, and my dog's leg is NOT fixed. There is NO check for $10,000,000 in my mailbox (and not one of those fakey mortgage scam checks this time, either, no. There is NO actual check from an actual person with an actual bank account that actually can clear $10M in my actual mailbox). Furthermore, I did NOT magically lose 80 pounds overnight. The Surgeon General did NOT recently announce that chocolate is the cure for everything. Elves did NOT come in and replace the carpet throughout my house. I do NOT have perfect skin. Honda did NOT invent a cute, sexy minivan that everyone loves that gets 90 miles to the gallon (of water). My coffee has NOT been replaced with Folger's crystals. And Barack Obama has NOT won the November election. NO publishers have offered me advances for a book. NO one has showed up with full ride scholarships for the prettybabies to go to Ivy League schools. There are absolutely NO landscapers outside clearing out my weeds and replacing them with zero-maintenance, perfectly landscaped flower beds.

I think that about covers it. Suck it, karma!!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't hold back, Amy. Tell us what you REALLY think! hahaha
Love,
Dad

amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

ah babe! let it out! I feel ya! xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

I tried to leave a comment after "not happy" on the "other" blog but it wouldn't let me. Have you purchased "The Secret" on dvd yet? Take it from someone who absolutely positively knows... no, there is no magic pill for weight loss. Thank goodness you don't have a prescription willy nilly happy doctor. My cousin's wife did get a doc to give her a script, can't remember the name right now, but it's a derivitive of the phen fen fad and HIGHLY dangerous... a cousin of meth! Maybe I don't know you well enough yet, and you're not in as desparate a state as I think, but I really get upset when you say things about wishing you were dead and when you hope for a sickness that will end you up thin. Stop that darn it! You have people on this planet who love and need you and thoughts like that, much less saying them or typing them, are completely distructive on every level. You are a beautiful, funny, intelligent, human being who is tired while multi tasking being a daughter, sister, wife and mother, among other things. Give yourself some credit. Re-focus. The glass is half full. You have a man who loves you and takes care of you and your children. You're not in a cardboard box on Wacker Drive! Chill! Breathe! Know that you are loved. That's all there is, that's all you need.
Connie

Sarah M. said...

ROFL!!!

I might have to try that...

di said...

Amy
You ARE a WONDERFUL human being and doing so much in this World. Give yourself credit for ALL the things you do right. I'm starting a 5 things i'm thankful for or 'gratitue journal.' Every day i write. This helps me focus on the good. Things will turn out fine. People love you for WHO you are -a fun, clever, smart gal!

Anonymous said...

I refuse to post your age when you were 100% potty trained.
Dad