Background - BJ has a herniated disk in his back. It's his L5, I think. There were a lot of times, especially with the kids, when the fact that his back hurt has been really, really irritating to me. I've wanted him to hold one of the girls and he has said, "I really can't, my back..." and I have been really annoyed. Like, how dare he have a sore back when I need his help taking care of these kids? What the heck? It was so inconvenient of him.
I wasn't always a shrew about his back... I gave him a massage so good that he fell asleep, with lotion and everything, when MG was just a couple days old. I can't even tell you how much time I've logged rubbing his back.
But sometimes the whole back thing just ticked me off. It seemed like an excuse.
I had no idea.
I woke up fine this morning, but somewhere around the time we came downstairs I did something to my back. And it hurts. A lot. It's radiating down my right leg, all the way to my knee. I can barely walk.
I took the kids to campus today for MG's language study, and getting from the car to the building and back was torture. Claire wanted to be carried, and I had to grit my teeth and do labor breathing.
I have a pretty high pain tolerance, especially after giving birth twice. This is so, so bad. It hurts less if I lay on my left side with a pillow between my legs. It hurts less if I sit on the left side of my rear end and try not to move. But with two little kids, I can't just sit all day...
And BJ has been a saint - he came home for lunch, cooked, brought me a plate, told me not to mess with the dishes, then came home and right now he's making dinner and I can hear him cleaning up the plates from lunch. All I have to do is sit here and try not to hurt, and enjoy my guilt.
I'm sorry, Honey, for all the times I rolled my eyes at you about your back behind your back. I honestly don't know why you continue to put up with me. This is just one more example.