Thursday, March 26, 2009

Science Experiments

I tried sprinkling the contents of the acidophillus tablets on Claire's rash, and I wasn't getting very good results. I decided, while she was down for nap, to try mixing the contents of the tablets (18 of them, to be specific) with a couple of tablespoons of Vaseline in a ziplock bag, then smushing it all together and cutting the corner of the bag to apply it to Claire's bum. Bonus - the dryer has been on all day, so setting it on top of the dryer (in the baggie, of course), where we do diaper changes, made it nice and warm. I just tried it for the first time, and haven't had a chance to visualize the results, yet, but I'll keep you posted. I could invent a new diaper rash solution and make millions!

If I don't do that, I'm going to make millions translating Governmentese to American English for concerned citizens who are reading bills and trying to make sense of them. In the last week, I've gotten alarmed e-mails/Facebook notifications about two different bills* which really weren't alarming if you know how to read Government. Somebody help me think of a way to market this skill.

It annoys me that my most marketable skills are 1) can understand gibberish written by politicians, and 2) is not afraid to do chemistry on childrens' rear ends. *sigh*

Oh well, at least the ability to translate Governmentese comes in handy at work.



* HR 1388 - the GIVE Act, which alarmed Christians thought might prohibit their children from going to church (it won't). and HB 875 - the Food Safety Modernization Act, which concerned foodies thought might subject backyard farmers to Government Inspections (it won't, any more than hosting a dinner party makes you subject to inspections by your local Board of Health). But the people who were concerned, in both cases, are intelligent, reasonable people. It's just that the wording on these things is so dense and so impossible to read, that their concerns made sense... unless you speak Government, like I do. Maybe I should run for office.

6 comments:

RobMonroe said...

Governmentese is the worst.

Hope your hiney-hack works. If it does, you should email it over to Asha at ParentHacks.

AmyBeth said...

Our pediatrician recommended taking Vagisil and Mylox and mixing it together, do it ahead of time and leave it out so it gets kind of thick. Apply it with cotton swabs... blow it dry, and then cover with Desitin. My boys have had the worst diharea diaper rashes in the world and these have always worked. Hope it helps!

morganna said...

I hope she's better by now, but I always use Aquaphor for the hard to heal rashes.

Anonymous said...

Amy, I hope her poor bum gets better. During Morgan's last bout I could not get Aquaphor to work(the first time ever) Matt stopped for me and got Lansinoh Diaper Rash Ointment and it worked like nothing before. Her little bum was bleeding with sores and a few hours later her bum was hardly red. I hope Miss Claire gets feeling better. :) Mandy

Susan K said...

Check with the doctor to make sure it isn't yeast. (It probably is after all her antibiotics) All the goop in the world won't heal it, you need to kill the extra yeasties. Nystatin orally will help. If she wasn't so raw, I'd also suggest gentian violet, it kills yeast growth on the skin.

Erin said...

Amy,

Have you tried sprinkling cornstarch on her bottom? When Katelynn had bad diaper rashes, that's what I would do and it would usually clear up within a few days. But I do agree with Susan K to make sure it's not a yeast infection.