I tried sprinkling the contents of the acidophillus tablets on Claire's rash, and I wasn't getting very good results. I decided, while she was down for nap, to try mixing the contents of the tablets (18 of them, to be specific) with a couple of tablespoons of Vaseline in a ziplock bag, then smushing it all together and cutting the corner of the bag to apply it to Claire's bum. Bonus - the dryer has been on all day, so setting it on top of the dryer (in the baggie, of course), where we do diaper changes, made it nice and warm. I just tried it for the first time, and haven't had a chance to visualize the results, yet, but I'll keep you posted. I could invent a new diaper rash solution and make millions!
If I don't do that, I'm going to make millions translating Governmentese to American English for concerned citizens who are reading bills and trying to make sense of them. In the last week, I've gotten alarmed e-mails/Facebook notifications about two different bills* which really weren't alarming if you know how to read Government. Somebody help me think of a way to market this skill.
It annoys me that my most marketable skills are 1) can understand gibberish written by politicians, and 2) is not afraid to do chemistry on childrens' rear ends. *sigh*
Oh well, at least the ability to translate Governmentese comes in handy at work.
* HR 1388 - the GIVE Act, which alarmed Christians thought might prohibit their children from going to church (it won't). and HB 875 - the Food Safety Modernization Act, which concerned foodies thought might subject backyard farmers to Government Inspections (it won't, any more than hosting a dinner party makes you subject to inspections by your local Board of Health). But the people who were concerned, in both cases, are intelligent, reasonable people. It's just that the wording on these things is so dense and so impossible to read, that their concerns made sense... unless you speak Government, like I do. Maybe I should run for office.