Monday, April 16, 2012

You're glad we never call

Almost every time I have ever been to Grammaland, I've felt guilty because there was someone (or a lot of someones, usually) who I've wanted to see but haven't had time to see while we were there.

This time, I have a different sort of guilt.  This time I feel guilty because the people we saw got our horrible pukey flu.

Poor Ian was up all night with it, and Kathryn came down with it today.  Stu has the biggest conference of the year for his industry this week, and Kelly has her exit exams for nursing school tomorrow, so it's the perfect time for all of them to get sick, right?

Thank God we didn't see my 36 weeks pregnant sister!  

I have never seen anything like this thing. You get exposed, and between one (Mary Grace) and 4 (Claire) days later you're vomiting, and then 5 days after you vomit you get diarrhea.  What the hell??  And it's not just a little queasiness or a little bit of the runs, oh no.  It's the waking-up-already-throwing-up kind.  It's the can't-make-it kind.  And the body aches that went with it, I've never felt anything like that.  Even now, a full week after I had the vomiting, everything still tastes weird - metallic and salty.  (Facebook thinks I'm pregnant.  Facebook needs to stop saying very scary words to me.)  

If you've been anywhere near me, or my husband, or my kids, or my dad, or my aunt Kathryn and Uncle Stu, or Ian and Kelly, or Monica, Craig, and their kids in the past 10 days, call your doctor and get a prescription for compazine right now.  Because this thing is coming for you, and it is ugly.  

It needs a name so that the news people can talk about it.  What are we going to call it?  

Oh my gosh, y'all, so I paused there to do a little research and I googled things like "gastroenteritis outbreak 2012" and whatnot - apparently there was a recent norovirus outbreak in Fort Wayne, Indiana, which is interesting, but anyway, I found the most hilarious icon I have ever seen in my life - are you ready for this? - proving that there really is a blog for everything


It's either laugh or cry.

Kelly - print that out and stick it on the front door!!  

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