Thursday, August 27, 2009

...And Now FedEx Hates Me

Remember at BlogHer when I won a full set of Michelin tires? It was fortuitous, because I needed new tires. I didn't really know how badly I needed new tires until the following weekend, when I drove up to Grammaland. Any time I went over 70 mph my car shook like it was trying to rattle itself in half. It was so worrisome that I called a tire company in Valpo from the road and said, "HALP! I CAN HAZ ALIGNMENT?" and they said, "Well, crazy LOLCats lady, our aligner is gone for the day, but come in anyway and we'll see what we can do for you..."

It turned out that my tires looked like shredded wheat. Steel belted radials are great, but you don't want to be able to see them - trust me. They said, "We can't let you drive out of here on these tires - they're not safe." This is not something you want to hear when you've just spent two hours on the freeway with your two kids in the car with the unsafe tires. I said, "Well, I'm not going to buy a new set of tires, I just won a new set of tires! Let's call Michelin and see if they can help..."

So the manager spent 20 minutes on the phone with Michelin, but they'd never heard of me or BlogHer or any promotion. In retrospect, it was probably a PR company that handled the giveaway, not Michelin itself.

I tried to talk them into giving me the new Michelin tires on credit. "I know I don't live here, but I know everyone in town..." and I proceeded to name drop like a Hollywood gossip columnist, telling them who I was related to, and how, and how surely they knew my father-in-law, I'm sure he gets all his tires here... and my uncle is ... and my mom is ... and they're all prominent community members. I swear I'm not trying to scam you out of tires! They didn't buy it (and thank goodness...).

The Grammaland Tire Company sold me a couple of temporary tires for the front ones (which were the worst) and admonished me to get myself some real tires ASAP. They said if I brought the temporary tires back, they'd give me some of my $60 back, which was super nice of them. Ever since I've been eagerly checking the mail waiting for a gift certificate for new tires to arrive.

This morning Max started barking like a crazy person. I went to the door (in my jammies) and saw a Fed Ex truck and a delivery person with something large and round in his grip. "What weirdness did BJ order from Amazon, now?" I thought. I opened the door and saw a stack of new Michelin tires on my front porch.

I started cracking up, and told the delivery driver that I was expecting a gift certificate, not a full set of tires! He very kindly offered to put them in the car for me, so that I could take them somewhere to have them put on. I ran back in to get shoes and keys, and went back into the front yard in my jammies to open up the van. "I'll bet you see all kinds of interesting stuff in your job," I laughed, while thanking goodness that I had worn shorts and a t-shirt to bed instead of some naughty nightie.

And that's why FedEx hates me. Because not only do I get ridiculous heavy things sent to me, but I don't even have the decency to get dressed before I open the door!

My neighbors probably aren't thrilled, either.

It worked out really well that they arrived today, though, because I'm headed to Grammaland on Saturday for my bonus sister's baby shower, and I can drop the car off at the tire company before the shower, have them install the new tires and credit me for the temporary tires, and then just pick the car up after the shower. Hooray!

Thanks Michelin! Thanks Grammaland Tire Company! Thanks FedEx, for having drivers who are good sports about stay-at-home-moms who aren't yet dressed at 10 am!


RobMonroe said...

Woo Hoo for new tires! Weird that they sent you actual tires... Congrats though!

Anonymous said...

Hey - what are doing going over the 70 mph speed limit anyway??!?!

Amy said...

Well, Anon, I DIDN'T go over 70 mph on that trip! :)

Rob, thanks!

Melisa with one S said...

Reminds me of that young girl who answered the door for Publisher's Clearinghouse in a bath towel. :)