Change her clothes; get into our bed with her; nurse her until I can't stand it any more; sing her "Claire's song" x 3; tell her that I'm not singing any more it's time for her to go to sleep; lay there while she rolls herself up in the blanket, decides that one thread is out of place, and has to re-roll herself all over again a thousand times; rub her back for 45 minutes and listen to her say, "Rubbin' my back. Daddy likes it," because I told her once 3 months ago that Daddy likes it when Mommy rubs his back before he goes to sleep, too; tell her that I'm not nursing her again, that we already nursed, that she's really getting too big for this foolishness and if she doesn't knock it off I'm going to put her in her room all by herself and go downstairs x 492,872; hold my breath for 5 minutes when it seems that she might have finally fallen asleep (about 45 minutes into this whole procedure); sneak out of bed because I hear Claire crying downstairs; swear under breath when MG wakes up; yell at her that this is insane and that she can sleep in her bed or my bed but she is NOT going downstairs and I am NOT going to nurse her anymore and she is NOT getting chocolate milk and I am NOT happy. Daddy takes over while Mommy initiates Claire procedure (see below). Daddy rubs her back and lets her roll herself up another 13 times and tells her a story and holds his breath and she finally goes to sleep after another 20 minutes of this foolishness.
The procedure for getting Claire to sleep tonight:
Nurse her for about 5 minutes; move her into the bassinet; knock a book off of the dresser and wake her up; swear; (fortunately Mommy didn't have to jump off of the roof because MG, miraculously, stayed asleep); pat and shush for a minute, realize that that isn't working, pick her up. Decide that we ought to have at least one kid who goes to bed correctly and put Claire in the crib, turn on the fishy mobile thing with lights and music, and stand there and watch Claire fall asleep all on her own.
The procedure for getting Mommy to sleep tonight:
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