It's too late to write with any kind of narrative coherence, so you are getting a numbered list tonight. Sorry kids.
1) It just confuses everyone (including your husband) when you don't "do" Santa but you have to go to Walmart at 11 pm on Saturday night before Easter because you have to get Easter baskets for the kids.
2) It's stupid to try to do an outdoor egg hunt in this state, where it will be 40 degrees and raining tomorrow. This is also the reason why cute dresses and sandals don't happen in this house - because we would still have to wear them with our winter coats. Wearing spring dresses with sandals and winter coats is just foolish.
3) I really need to get my winter coat cleaned, because it has macaroni and cheese all over it.
4) There are not enough hiding places in the living room for 48 plastic eggs.
5) The cat is having way too much fun batting around 48 plastic eggs.
6) Now I won't be able to find them, either.
7) I'm making experimental ham tomorrow. Instead of using water in the pan when I heat it up, I'm going to use frozen pineapple juice concentrate. I'm not sure what will happen.
8) This may be where the new Family Tradition of eating Chinese food on Easter starts.
9) I was going to get little pastel colored Gideon sized Bibles to go in the kids' baskets, as a nod to the whole Real Reason (tm) why tomorrow's a holiday.
10) ...then I remembered that they can't read, so I got bunnies.
11) The people who work midnights at Walmart get paid the same, no matter how many people they do or do not move through their line. Consequently, they do not have the same burning desire to move my items quickly across the scanner that I wish they had. I thought I was going to be there until shift change at 6 am.
12) When you go to Walmart in the middle of the night, they never, ever have size 5 Pampers Cruisers in a box. How many times has this happened to me? I will tell you. Three. Have you ever been to Walmart and found that they were out of something? No. These are things that only happen to me. At midnight.
13) I slept late this morning, and now my body doesn't understand that it's time to sleep again, so I'm sleepy but wired. It's uncomfortable.
14) I may just stay up and eat all the candy before the kids get up. Then I'll have to go BACK to Walmart at 5 am for more candy, AND I'll be buzzing on chocolate.
15) I need to investigate using melatonin to help MG sleep better. A friend of mine is using it with her 3 year old with great success. Any thoughts? Of course I'll ask our doctor, and talk BJ into it before hand, but it is something I'm interested in investigating.
16) It annoys me when I use words like "investigating" twice in one bullet point.
* Those weren't bullet points.
17) Once you get past ten, it's hard to know where to stop.
18) I should've quit with 16.
19) Now I'm really stuck...
20) Oh wow, it is obviously past my bedtime. Where's the benedryl?
21) I totally forgot to complain about the couple who had their 4 or 5 year old and their 1 year old at Walmart at midnight. People? Are you kidding?? And they weren't just getting some emergency thing that they ran out of - like little Morton's asthma inhaler or something. They were doing major grocery and clothes shopping. They spent $150! At midnight! At Walmart!! What is wrong with people? Are they a whole family of insomniacs? Do the kids pull the midnight shift at the preschool? What is going on??
22) Ok, now I'm being all judgmental AND overpunctuating AND inappropriately using capital letters. Nighty night.